When you write your morning pages, and in any similar type of writing, it might be a good idea to write down the left side of the page, so that you leave space for the right side answers when you go back to exercise your compassionate and reasoning muscles.
Listened to your call.
This is what I heard:
I guess I have to change my dialogue. [That's true of course, but it is 1/2 of level 1. The idea is to reason out a true statements, fully, until you believe it. A few nice statements doesn't do it. It has to be deeper.]
I am feeling this general depression constantly looming. [This is swirling, vague soup, but you do add some specifics later. It is only in dealing with concrete specifics that anything can be identified and deal with fully. This would include a full description of any notable sensations in your body. Noting that "general depression" might just be an erroneous message from a recording in your brain. Unless you acknowledge the possible non-truth in it, then it may be believed. ]
Slightly frail and somewhat disabled [notice the unhappiness gap generated by comparing to some standard of what should be other than what is; notice that it would be appropriate to notice what is existing in your life that is positive and good - yes, you could ask me to provide that, which is all over the site, or you could do the necessary homework, which is to use your Adult or higher self to devise and think of what is good, as the other side is well argued and fully represented, as if there is only a Prosecutor but no Advocate for you and for what is good - it is amazing that people can make up things that have no reality in them and then believe them while ignoring the thousands of great things, opportunities, activities, etc. that are out there - kind of incredible! You only have one good choice: to exercise that other side, which is "the homework". ]
Life does not offer alot of great stuff from this oint forward [Patently and massively untrue. You're looking at one side with no balanced evidence nor any attempt to create "good" stuff. Your homework would be to create a list that answers "what possible good stuff is there available in the future?" and then keep the list in your Reminders Notebook, which is also assigned homework, assigned for a reason.]
Life | 1| 2 | <-- Really great stuff --> |
1 is potentially bad stuff, which we virtually always adjust to [don't spend any time trying to
prove this wrong! Arguing for the "bad" side is not something you want to do more of!
Lots of studies have proved this adjustment factor.]
2 so-so, or not so great stuff
What you "see" is in the 1 and 2 and then you make up stuff that is 1 and 2 stuff, but non-existent. That "side" of you is well-exercised and we can't "overcome" it, but we can develop the other side by actually using it and eventually the new habit of using that side will predominate and the other side will wither a bit or a lot.
Your job, your homework is to do the not unpleasant side of using your faculties. And we can only tell that you've done that by seeing it in writing using the higher self side. (Writing by itself automatically uses that side so is a good muscle builder.) The higher self side would produce compassion (make it up as a thought, as it is not something you have to "feel"), soothing, and good reasoning. That's all. it is not difficult, but it does take doing the "exercise" or you'll not have developed muscles and can't expect to be able to easily do the heavy lifting in parts of life....
The knowing of whether you are doing your exercises is in my seeing the written page with your efforts on it. Proclaiming that you are saying good things to yourself and are handling your homework defies the rules of reasoning and strong thinking. It is a weak fall back to say it is better for a person to just talk and work it out in a conversation, as that doesn't work even at a 10-20% effectiveness compared to more concrete work, such as writing.
So, long winded way of saying, you should write down the whole conversation you're having, on the left side, and then do your best on writing as much right side as you can, using Keith or Fred to add comments or insights or suggestions so that you come up with what is true, compassionate, and feels good. (Yes, we want to solve each situation, but much of the point here is to get you to using and developing the higher brain faculties, as suggested in the written piece I just sent you. Read that piece straight through, and then go back to any links of interest.)
You could actually take on the persona of Compassionate Rational Higher Self and write out a good, balanced future, so that you are creating it in your head first, then experiencing it, then looking at the possibilities of it. Those who only point out what the not-goods are get nowhere, as they are stuck in the impossibilites. Those who create a future create possibilities and mine the full potential of life.