IT'S NOT EVEN A THOUGHT, IT'S A PERVASIVE CONSCIOUSNESS
"I have a feeling of shame. It's not even a thought. I have pervasive self-consciousness."
This is absolutely not a true statement of fact. She does not "see" the thought, but she must be taught and convinced that thought/belief always precedes feeling, that a feeling doesn't happen out of the blue and with no cause.
As in the Beliefs section, this is true:
Situation --> Perception, interpretation --> Belief --> Feeling
People who consider themselves to be victims or helpless stick to the following belief"
Situation --> Feeling
She needs to learn the facts in order to let go of the myths and assumptions.
I CAN'T SAY ANYTHING THAT CHANGES IT
"It doesn't matter what I say to overcome it, it doesn't work."
It may be pretty true to say "I haven't figured out what to say that will work. But all of what leads me to conclusions and end points come from a prior belief, so I kinow there is something that will work. I am not just victimized by it."
SHE IS SIMPLY "MAKING HERSELF WRONG"
Read Shame And Guilt, to see how we create a reason for making ourselves wrong and then how we use it to get ourselves "into line". It is one of the worst habits built into us in our childhoon.
SHE NEEDS TO GIVE UP "FORGIVING" HERSELF
We forgive a "wrong". (The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as 'to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offence or debt'.)
If one does not make oneself wrong, then there is no "wrong" to forgive.
Other than to make another person feel better, there is no validity to the practice of forgiving, as there is no need to forgive if one has not blamed in the first place. There is no "it should have been done better" if one acknowledges the truth that everyone simply does the best he/she can at the time given the current limits of his/her awareness. This shifts over to allowing one to simply accept what occurred, with no blame. Surely a person cannot know more than one knows, so one can not certainly expect otherwise!!!!!
She looked over the materials in Barksdale but never learned and understood the realities and never learned to fully affirm the realities. If she would have, it would have changed her beliefs and attitudes and consequently her life. She would be able to give up many of the self-imposed threats and battles with the threats.
I will not make myself wrong. It does no good and only creates harms.
I will operate from my higher brain, where there is no such thing as "wrong".
AND IF YOU DON’T MAKE YOURSELF WRONG, THERE IS NOTHING TO FORGIVE
AND NO REASON TO CONJURE UP FEELING GUILT OR SHAME.