You've probably heard over and over, you've got to know where you are starting from if you're going to plan a trip, whether it's actual travel or life that we are talking about. 

Yet many people ignore this - and they lose out on a sizable portion of the benefit of planning. 

In this process, being jprecise, clear, and definite is key.  The cause of most problems and most bad thinking lies in vagueness, lack of certainty, so one doesn't know clearly what one is doing or what one is thinking.

When we define that "the gap" between where we are and where we are determined to be, we build in a clarity of how far we have to go and give ourselves an incentive to close the gap.  Knowing the size of the gap helps us to prioritize among the gaps so that one knows which will have the most benefit to work on first, second, etc. 

Of course, the coach will also be able to help more if he has a clear picture also. 


Believe it or not most people don't really know "who I am".  This results in people defending something that is attached, in a sense, to them but which they mistakenly believe is them - and it is a huge waste of energy with no benefit and usually with a net negative effect!   This is one of the barriers or misusers of one's time and effort that we need to eliminate - and we need to restore our psychological energy, so that we can use it elsewhere.  When we think we are something we are not, it leaves us with an unhealthy psychological burden.

If I think who I am is what people think of me, then I will be subject to any wind and/or any opinion, valid or not. 
If I think I must be a set image that has an unrealistic expectation in it, then my life is guaranteed to fail in that regard.  If I know exactly who I am, it is a much more modest version that is more highly maintainable and indestructible.  

The basic YOU is only the thinking ability of your higher brain, for that is what creates the feeling of "spirit" or aliveness.  So you are the experiencer, the one who is conscious - all the rest is something you "have" (read the piece on it to be clear on that, as I know that sounds vague or not believable).  Since it is hard to buy into that fact, we can work with an expanded YOU that I call YOU Plus.  In that we include the values you've chosen, but not the false beliefs you have, as those are acquired changeable things that are not you.  Any of your beliefs do not need defending at all and there is no value in "being right", except where a variable will actually physically impact you.  (Read Being Right - One Of The Highest Costs In Life.)

And, of course, we include in the expanded YOU Plus, your body, since it is needed to keep the YOU alive.