(These are notes which will be integrated later into the main body. This is a place where I list my observations.)
Wat is absolutley necessary for happiness, unhappiness, see checkliss, recreat a different one for happiness.
What isnisn't , what is missing
when I am unhappy what am I thinking
Aren't I just seeking rebablancing from bad chemicals?
What is it we're "missing" that has us be upset?, what's wrong?
Going for it out of balance = unhappiness
thinking I have to be entertained.
What is my conversation when I'm feeling unhappy?
have to sell self on the long rterm benefit, like a child losing sight, we are primitive, if we don't assert the higher brain
the intagibles or far offf value are not in perspective (cavemen needed to eat urgently.
I am doing this and yeah I get to eat!
need daily grounding!!!
will i be ok
happy = safety and stimulation (feel good about self?)
Disorganized = chaos, alarm mode
s/b different, this means...
trying to be worthy, or happy in the future
Whatis that conversation
Oh, I'm not doing this right, i should do it right, what will people think (survival), will I be able to handle life.
Feeling physically not so good, I create an unhappiness about it, though it is merely not feeling so good physically. I could say: "though I don't feel so great physically, that shall pass AND LIFE IS A JOYFUL BLESSING. I AM SO HAPPY!"
I noticed the title of the seminar The Sheer Joy Of Being Alive. I could tell myself that I am so happy to just be alive! Ain't it great! (No matter what is going on!)
I notice I am waiting to be happy later, but being "serious" (non-happy, I think) about it. I notice that most of what I do is about trying to create happiness in the future or trying to prevent unhappiness in the future, so that I am only present during those times when I feel distracted by something pleasant, and I interpret pleasure as happiness at the moment. Of course, when I am distracted that would mean I'm not present??? Or I'm just present to whatever I am distracted to.
My default conversation seems to be "I'll be happy when... or I'll do this so that..."
I do notice I waiting to experience from something rather than choosing to create my experience at the time (by noticing "I am alive and happy", which, if I said that, I would soon forget to do as it would seem so repetitive and just fade into the background...
my focus is primarily on the future...creating for the future...so I am not being present so much, some anxiety to get things done so I'll be complete and caught up, but with what????
I feel happy when I create a writeup. I feel happy as I am writing something that I think will be helpful. I'm not happy when I think that maybe nobody will read it and I might not be effective in my mission.
I realize that I need to remind myself (I agree with it also) that experience is just experience - and maybe all experience is great, in a sense, if I weren't rejecting some as "bad">
I have made it not ok to not be happy, as a condition to correct rapidly.
Happiness, for me, is about praise, somebody making love to me, fun, relief? not-not happiness then gratitde,my write ups, etc.
Making happiness conditional, vs. just having the fact of being alive the cause of happiness, just being able to experience period!
I experience hurry up as unpleasant and unhappy...
I noticed in doing exercises for Landmark's seminar for graduates Creating Happiness:
When I am rushing, I am not feeling happiness. When I have a gap in what I want to do and haven't done yet, I am not feeling happy. I'm generating "motivating" chemicals that feel unpleasant.
If I wait for happiness to occur spontaneously, that does not seem to happen that much.
I know I need to eliminate what causes me not to be happy before natural happiness will show up.
But given that it doesn't show up spontaneously or at random much and given that I haven't yet eliminated all the things that get in the way of natural happiness, it seems that I must intentionally create happiness. I "get" now that I must "source" it and not have it be about circumstances.
I see that it is something I must "do" as an action or as a statement to myself.
I notice that even statements to myself while I'm doing something that is not particularly happiness producing and/or is the opposite make a difference. Saying "this is no big deal" (a coping statement) helps me lighten up a bit and get a better perspective. However, reminding myself that "life is a blessing" or "I am grateful for all that is in life" actually adds happiness directly. Using my Reminders Notebook helps me focus on that which I can use to increase happiness. The gratitude section is one I would best review every day, for it is the basis of the opposite of the negative emotions (which are all around 'loss').
My default condition, the one I go back to when I am not intentional or not doing a real great activity, is pretty much anxiety, trying to get things done or thinking I should be doing better. This suggests that I shouldn't let my life be run by default, as Dumb and Dumber do not do a great job at running my life and feelings.
I am clear that I need to intentionally make deposits to my Emotional Bank Account and avoid withdrawals.
To do that I am left with no alternative but to plan those things into my schedule and to have a bank of great statements I can make to myself that are affirming and/or focusing on appreciation.
I noticed in paying attention to recent happenings:
Running into a person who is inexplicably hostile caused me to create uncomfortableness in myself. I just wanted to go away, and I chose that as the way to take care of myself. I think a coping statement would have been useful, such as "The hostility is merely a reflection of who that person is and it is not about me, it is not personal. I am a good, kind, capable human being and I can be proud of who I am. And, yes, such things will occur." It also seems to me that it would be useful to have a "wallet version" that I can refer to instantly in such situations, to remind myself.
I noticed that I had a "concern for happiness" yesterday, in the unfriendly climate and that I was also tired and in low resourcefulness (which I'm sure contribute to the lack of resilience and/or the vulnerability - so, obviously, it is important to assure that I get better rest and/or a nap before going to places where such may occur...)
I noticed that I felt discouraged when I thought there is no way I can ever get this Life Management Alliance to be effective enough to affect the lives of very many people...kind of a "reality" look, kind of a dashing of the hope that I have around being able to make a contribution. However, my happiness must be independent of that, as that is just a "game" I play around the core of my actual life which I must hold in perspective.
I felt something akin to happiness when and after I exercised - my body felt good, therefore I interpreted that I was happy.
I feel unhappy when I get concerned about finishing something, rather than rejoicing about doing it and the benefits it will create, which makes it worth my time!
I feel a bit unhappy when I am hurrying, rather than pacing and enjoying it and still typing rapidly, which I don't do any faster if I am adding hurrying. I CAN just hold this writing as fun and it may be useful or not, but actually it is and has been useful, so I need not let Dumb and Dumber question that. I need to acknowledge that there is some positive effect and it doesn't need to be huge. I do not make myself happy when I think that I am wasting my time and/or assumig I "should be" doing something else.
I "get" that approval or not-approval from others is not a game to play at all. I can source it totally, through affirming myself. "I am powerful, independent. I am not dependent on anyone, period. I am totally self-sufficient and capable. I need no one's approval and their disapproval has no import..." or something like that. Include that in my Declarations section in my Reminders Notebook.