tba
"The chances of reality being seen and conveyed and received accurately is approximately zero. However, most people think they are highly accurate, leaving only the wise man to know the difference."
"Foolish is the person who believes his/her perception and/or hearing is accurate. Accordingly, he/she will bear the unwelcome fruits of believing otherwise."
The Buddhakahuna
Words mean different things or interpretable in multiple ways by different people.
We must leave some information out when communicating plus we cannot possible perceive all that is occurring "out there". Our descriptions are incomplete.
We project information that is not there, and we assume information that is not verified.
Each end of the process is subject to each person's filter.
Need I list more, or do you, at least initially, see that what is received is not equal to what information should have or was sent.
REALITY, COMMUNICATING IT, PERCEIVING AND RECEIVING
Overall model
REALITY --> MANY, MANY BARRIERS --> PERCEPTION
The "process" model
Inaccurate --> Speaker --> Physical --> Partial --> Incorrect --> Hearing
speaking filter speaking hearing or different interpreting
understanding
(left out, (not aware, (body (distractions, (different
miswording) select wrong items) language,etc.) emotional reactions) experiences)
Some of the barriers: Blocks, filters, misspeaking ("encoding" errors), interpretations, distracttions, emotional reactions, understanding, meanings, missed awareness, incompleteness of communication, distorted thinking, "decoding" errors, beliefs... [This is discussed further in Perception Versus Reality.]
WHERE TO PLUG THE LEAKS
"Interestingly enough, among all the things that can go wrong, the one common solution or discipline to prevent misperception from persisting is to “check it out”. But, of course, to do this, one must first be willing to acknowledge and realize that one’s perception is not necessarily reality out there in the real world.
Distorted thoughts are the source of most relationship problems. Not believing the perception is one step to bypassing the effect of distorted thoughts. Unraveling the source of where the distorted thought (or way of behaving) comes from is another."
In relationships that are business relationships or non-close relationships, the key intent is usually to convey information accurately enough to get a desired result, but this is also so rife with barriers that most of the same techniques are useful.
As we look at the process model above, we see where the key vulnerabilities are, so our solution is to do what will plug those holes.
THE MASTER OF THEM ALL
Check it out. This allows the receiver to see if what he received is accurate, lets the sender know if the receiver understood, and allows the sender to see if he/she should add more or correct something.
We just say "let me see if I got this accurately..." and then repeat what you understood the other to say. This goes back and forth until the sender says "yes, that's it."
HAVE I GOT YOUR ATTENTION?
The transmission of data is made inoperable or almost inoperable if there is no receiver at the other end. True, there may be a person there to whom you wish to transmit, but you must first check to see if the receiver is ready to receive. "I would like to discuss ..... Is this a good time or would some other time be better?"
IS THERE A BLOCK IN THE LINE?
High emotions, low energy, etc., are not conducive to good communication, so it is best to recognize that and to insert a time factor. Even during a conversation, if the conversation has alot of static, it would be good to request a "recess" for settling down, often termed a "time out". [See Time-outs As A Communication Tool.]
The checklist for communicating is (will be added, but you can use the above for now, as it will do most of the job
