To be re-written, but this is the substance of it.

Life is not fair
Definition of fair
The reason for "fair"
The viewpoint of a victim
The universe, life and people are neutral


"One of the first things one must realize to grow up is that 'life is not fair'."   Or the other version is, erroneously, "life is unfair". 

The latter statement is untrue, for life is not "unfair".  

Life and the universe are simply what exist and are totally neutral. 

The universe is the term used for all things in total.  It is just a physical reality, with no thinking capability. 

Yes, it is "systematic" and in a way can be interpreted to be "intelligent", but the latter is untrue, in that it doesn't do thinking. 

[Definition of intelligence: The capacity to acquire and apply knowledge.
The faculty of thought and reason.
(Superior) powers of mind. (Note that the universe doesn't have a mind.)]

Things just exist, have gravitational pulls and move about in some related way. 

As we reflect on it, we are fortunate that this all exists and we can't figure out how it all "popped into existence" or "came about" - but we sure can put out a lot of theories and explanations (which we then choose to believe) to explain the unexplained or the unexplainable.  From that comes religions and other philosophies, mostly full of beliefs that are repeated often and long enough to become "truths" - but they aren't.  Most of them "work" to some extent.  They might create more "peace" or "better behavior".  But most stop short and get stuck in their superstitions and untested beliefs.


Being in accordance with relative merit or significance: She wanted to receive her fair share of the proceeds.
Consistent with rules, logic, or ethics: a fair tactic.


The concept of "be fair" is taught to children as a means of having things work out better in life.  Don't do harm to others.  Treat others well.

But it is not a fixed thing or a given. 

Granted we do feel safer when we believe the other person will be fair and we can hope that is the case, but we cannot take it as a given right or truth that someone "should" be fair.  That is not reality.


"Victim mentality" is typically wanting to have controls imposed out there to keep one safe, believing one is powerless and/or unable to adjust to what happens, believing that it is one's circumstances and other people which determine one's happiness.  Victims want to be "acted upon", rather than to act and be responsible for one's own well-being.


The universe is neutral, unable to think, unable to generate an intent, so it is neither fair nor unfair.

People aren't required to be fair.  People don't have to be fair to others.  They only have to survive and do that which they believe at the time serves to meet their need at the time.  Yes, they can be taught to be "unselfish" or that things work better if they treat someone fairly, but they don't have to be fair unless it is in their best interests.  Fairness is a choiceof each person, but it is not a right that is due anyone.

Life is neutral.  What happens to us is neutral (it doesn't care about us, it just is what happens as a result of something else happening)..