tba, ready for reading, edit a bit more later
No longer seeing it as a child saw it...
Knowing that feelings are caused by assessments
And it's just a bunch of recordings
Feelings need not determine your actions
Note the signs and feedback
And then do this...
Operating from perspective
Operate from an "in charge" mode
Centered and balanced
Simple, mechanical action
Commit to this!
Living the higher life
Some additional points to consider
NO LONGER SEEING IT AS A CHILD SAW IT...
As a child, I didn’t know how to interpret my feelings. They were my only experience of the world and if anything was wrong it seemed like a catastrophe. Those were confusing times. Thanks to my parents for giving me the comfort that helped offset those dreadful feelings. Now, as an adult, I get to learn to be more precise and less alarmed.
But you shouldn't trust your initial interpretations or beliefs, until they are tested and "certified" by yourself as being true.
One easy, but effective, test is to ask: "Would my higher self see it this way?"
KNOWING THAT FEELINGS ARE CAUSED BY ASSESSMENTS...
Now, as an adult, I’ve learned from the wise men, who have given much thought to this, that the body/mind operates off of feelings (aka emotions) and that those feelings are caused by an assessment of what something is interpreted to mean in terms of comfort or danger. All the wise men taught that these assessments (thoughts) are just assessments (thoughts) that are automatic and mechanical and, as such, subject to a lot of error and inappropriateness.
AND IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF RECORDINGS
You see, the brain is simply a “matcher” of recordings to happenings, a useful function that evolved to help the mind spot the dangers to react to to keep us alive.
Most of those recordings were passive and without a lot of reasoning or fact checking. Consequently, they contain a high degree of error - especially in those recordings learned as a child. It is idiotic to continue to live with those recordings being untested and uncorrected, yet many do so. (Part of “growing up” is correcting those thoughts so that we are not needlessly mechanically reacting to recordings that have inappropriate responses in them. Most people, however, do very little of this correction on purpose, with some thoughts being corrected as we go, in a haphazard and incomplete manner.)
This is what it means when people are training themselves in meditation to say “these are only thoughts, just thoughts - and they have no real meaning in the physical (actual) world. I have only attached a meaning and an emotion but I can heed or not heed them and I can choose to revise them. I can merely observe my thoughts and label them as thoughts. I need not react to them or consider them as having any import."
It is vital to running one's life well that one learns, and knows for certain, that the lower brains that record events and their related meanings and emotions are just that – lower brains. The knowledge that the lower brains have not screened nor reasoned out the recordings is essential, for then we know that we can observe a thought or feeling and know that it is very likely from an erroneous brain message (recording). In You Are Not Your Brain, Schwarz and Gladding use the term “deceptive brain messages” so that you do not take them seriously or as the Truth.
(We are "fools" in life if we take them as literally being The Truth.)
This is ONE OF THE ESSENTIAL LEARNINGS OF LIFE to heed and run your life from. Once you “get it”, that there is a high degree of inaccuracy, you can then actively inquire and think things out with the higher brain – so that you are operating from what is true, accurate, and reasoned. This is vastly preferable to living a life as if you are being run from the “child within” or by some “saboteur” or a dominater within the mind that "overpowers you and determines your life." That’s pure poppycock, but so many people let their lives be run by that, instead of having the higher self take over and run things, letting the “children” (simplistic thinking) play when it is appropriate.
FEELINGS NEED NOT DETERMINE YOUR ACTIONS
Removing yourself from 'feeling' "as if you are inside this primitive mind" is one of the key strategies of living an effective life. The objective, of course, is to have the higher brain run things when it is important and necessary.
Those people who seem to be so calm and centered in life, yet powerful, are operating from their higher brain. Notice that they have eliminated the distractions, holding them as meaningless, stopping them in their tracks, leaving the attention units free to observe what is happening in the moment.
This permits their freeing up more attention units so that they notice more things and are able to think things through in the present moment to come up with masterfully orchestrated responses. That is the way to live a truly great life - and I would suggest that that is what you really want of life.
To do this, you must:
1. Learn and know and agree with the truth that the lower brain is mechanical and that the thought recordings that it comes up with are just thoughts with no necessary substance, most often meaningless and of no value.
2. Accordingly, you must also correct what needs to be corrected, so that you have recordings that come up automatically that are accurate, true, and good to operate from. You need to use the higher brain to do this - and do this on purpose, being sure not to let erroneous thoughts continue - capturing them at the moment (in writing, to be corrected at the time or later).
3. Engage the higher brain as often as possible, knowing that this is the way to run your life.
An experience is just a feeling plus some meaning. We control both, they don’t control us! We give meaning to something and any time the thing happens we have a feeling. We can correct the meaning and we therefore can change the resulting feeling.
(Note that a simple strategy is to just let a seemingly compulsive feeling just "be" for 12 minutes, as the feeling is almost certain to disappear or highly diminish by then - feelings are only temporary.)
NOTE THE SIGNS AND FEEDBACK
The wise person notes any “bad” feeling and knows it is from an erroneous “not-matching reality” message. He/she knows that a “feeling” is a sensation of the physical body and is not an imperative to action – for it is true that the higher mind can intervene – but if it doesn’t, then the erroneous message and the related action will prevail (NOT GOOD).
THEN DO THIS...
For someone who wants to install the higher brain running the show, he will choose to step aside from the flail of the “monkeys in the mind” simply by interrupting the process with a simple short pause (always) and then "engaging" one's higher brain by asking a learned question, such as "what is actually occurring and what is the best benefit for me?" Although it sounds simple, the latter will actually, really, honestly signal and cause the higher brain to be engaged - it is simple but effective.
The basic idea in one's thinking at the time would be something like this:
“I see the thoughts. I see the feelings and these will soon pass. Now I return myself to a centered balanced way of being. I breathe deeply and relax my body to send the signals to the “alarm center” that I am in charge. This helps return me to a more balanced way of being. I then ask what would my higher self say or do in this case?”
The other method we need to use that engages the higher brain thinking process is to write things down – a must, because it forces us to think enough to be able to verbalize and then look at something in “black and white”, more objectively rather than subjectively and with often out of control emotional. Just doing this action actually retrains and rewires our brain's neuronal pathways so that the higher brain is automatically by habit engaged more often.
The wise person interrupts and breathes and relaxes each time he/she notices any tension. He/she lets the sensation just “be”, knowing it is harmless and nonmandatory and that it will soon pass – knowing that it is just a physical feeling, with no importance or meaning. As I do more of the interrupting and managing and using the higher brain, the repetition trains my brain to use the higher mode automatically, soon becoming effortless and easy.
“This is just an electrochemical sensation. I can be with it and let it be and it will soon pass. I made up some meaning. There is likely no fixed meaning in this. I shall not give it a false validity, a credibility status above mere feeling. Though I feel impatience or feel compelled, I will always recenter, rather than allowing the wobble to continue and letting it passively cause feelings and actions that are not serving me.”
The key idea here is to purposely disengage from the erroneous automatic effects of allowing the lower brain thoughts to prevail and purposely engage the higher brain – if we want to live a great life where we are the master, using our higher brain to create a magnificent life.
"I do not need to respond to all my feelings. I can relax and breathe deeply each time I think of a compulsion (…get ice cream, me feel empty, me feel deprived, me need ice cream…) and if I do so, the compulsion will lose its power in the present and will gradually lose its power habitually over time, diminishing and sometimes even disappearing.
OPERATING FROM PERSPECTIVE
This is where the vital strategy of attaining “perspective” and operating from that vantage point is necessary.
Operating from a higher perspective, you consult your higher brain. (Masters realize that who they are is actually their higher brain and its consciousness, period.)
OPERATE FROM AN "IN CHARGE" MODE
It is very, very helpful, and perhaps vital, that you be on top of things - as this allows you to not be at the effect of things being out of order or of concern - which in turn helps to allow you to have more perspective.
Things should be picked up and organized, including your to dos and schedule - otherwise you will have a sense of lack of control. Sufficient rejuvenation and rest and relaxation time must be scheduled in, assuring yourself that you will not just spiral into an emotional tailspin. You must operate noting signals and taking short pauses - such a strategy and action puts you in charge and also lets your brain know that you are in charge.
Interrupt disorganization by using the 5 minute rule – pick it up, clean it up, organize it right in the moment if it can be done in five minutes. (Variations are the “two minute rule” or even, when just starting, the “one minute rule”.) Doing this procedure helps build a habit path for the brain to follow, as it develops a deeper and deeper automaticity to mastering control of what is around you. It actually engenders confidence.
CENTERED AND BALANCED
A tire wobbles badly and wears out quickly when it is not centered and balanced, plus one experiences a "bad ride" (which is what you'll experience in life also).
The idea of being centered and balanced and in best operating mode is essential to operating well in life. (Duh!)
So it is essential that you adjust back to that balanced mode every time you notice any “out of balance” feeling or action. And the more often you do that, the better you’ll get to be at it – and the less time you’ll spend in a poor level of operating. Much as the champion in sports does, you notice and seek the “feedback” (i.e. look to see how you're feeling) and respond to it often (those who aren’t champions don’t seek and correct anywhere near as much) by frequently correcting, as you go.
What does this look like in your life?
Simple mechanical action
Each time you notice a "bad feeling" or tendency to act inappropriately, you would interrupt it with this simple, easily doable process. You would breathe deeply (4 counts in, eight counts out) and relax deeply (letting tension go), relaxing every time you notice any stress or compulsion feeling – so this could be 30 to 50 times a day.
But notice that you’ll stay closer and closer to a better operating mode, where you are more relaxed, energetic, and in charge - and you'll spend alot less time engaged in poor thinking/feeling. (The cost of operating when in an inefficient mode is that it takes a lot more effort and things tend to disintegrate at an exponentially higher rate. The more frequent adjustment will actually save energy, relieve a lot of the “bad feelings”, plus dramatically reduce damage to the body.)
This is simple to do – but incredibly important and effective. You will also, in some form (meditation is recommended even for 5 minutes), take yourself to complete relaxation two times a day, religiously, as if your life depended on it – for it does - qualitatively. Simply use the 'scan the body' technique, letting go of whatever tension is in there, as in the 10 to 1 relaxation process. (Read Counting downward into deeper relaxation, but also read the main page on Relaxation.)
You would do the “relax” process, even for just a few moments, each time you notice you are judging yourself, having a compulsion that is not healthy, having any thought that causes a bad feeling or a sad feeling – don’t let them continue…!
Mentally grounded - and determined to use the higher brain
Every day, you'd start with being centered and grounded, geared up to your best operating mode, reading a reminder of who you are and how you will be in this day.
"I have the incredible capability to do virtually anything if I access my higher brain and use it actively to run my life. I am my higher brain and I do not mistake mechanical brain messages for being “me” or being anything I must obediently heed.”
"I will stop and breathe and relax each time I notice myself being offcenter."
"I will consult my higher self, asking the power question: “What would my higher self advise?” Or "WWJBDLYD?" (What would Jesus, Buddha, the Dalai Lama or Yoda do?”). I resolve only to go along with what my higher brain answer is, ignoring the deceptive mental chatter. I will live my life from my Higher Self, using my higher brain. This I swear that I will do."
COMMIT TO THIS!
Commit to this now, and put it in the commitments section of your Reminder Notebook.
I, ______________________, do hereby commit to keeping myself balanced and centered, operating at the highest level as often as possible.
I commit to implementing the short pause and to engaging my higher brain intentionally, so that I make better decisions and operate more optimally.
Signed and commited to on this ___ day of ________, in the year ______,
LIVING THE HIGHER LIFE
The "higher life" is:
Where your life happens intentionally instead of randomly and whimsically and thoughtlessly and being blown about by mere brain recordings.
Where you see that you are the meaning maker and master and that you need not be at the effect of “out there” (where you’re dependent on good experiences, the right events, and other people “doing it to you”, or for you).
Aware and steering your ship, letting no fear or bad feeling continue without relaxing into it.
Knowing that I can and will adjust to each outcome by doing what is necessary to make myself happy no matter what!
SOME ADDITIONAL POINTS TO CONSIDER
You are not a bunch of internal personas controlling you
One of the most damaging ideas happens when people use a useful metaphor but mistake it for what is actually so. We refer to our “inner child” or “child” as if it were a part of us, a real thing – and then we take on the persona of being a child, looking at things as if I were a child and thinking that I am the child. No, you are not a child, living life from a child’s perspective – unless you choose to take on that persona as if it were true and you were just captured in it. You simply have lots of recordings, many of them from childhood that are illformed, but you are NOT the recording, you are the higher brain from which you can see these things and think at a very high level. See Who I Am. It is essential that you become clear about who you are and not confuse what you have or things around you with being you – they are not.
Make commitments, even if you initially are not good at keeping them
We use our higher self when we make commitments. (Yes, we do fail a lot at those until we are more thoroughly trained, but it is not a matter of character or virtue in a moralistic sense [i.e. you’re not “bad” for it] – it is just a matter of developing the habit pathway to the extent it becomes the dominant neural pathway.)
Disengaging when noticing the early signs
For Barbara, she must stop herself, even hanging up when engaged in a conversation gone awry, when she starts to feel rage when talking to a service person. She needs to reaffirm her value of not doing damage to other people. She needs to bolster her emotional intelligence/wisdom/knowledge by being able to see that other people have feelings and she needs to develop her compassion for others, knowing that they are simply human beings tryingthe best they can but with limitied awareness and not blaming them for that (or blaming herself in her own life) – she has little compassion, not as a “bad” but as a missing in understanding – she should read Compassion and “get it”, as it is vital tl living a good life. She might even believe the rage is actually her, as if it and she were one, being the rage.
The vital importance of realizing you are not dependent on "out there"
It is essential to living a good life to realize that you are not dependent for your life and for your happiness on events "out there" and on people. Not realizing this sets up a whole myriad of "dangers" and dependency on things that are out of our control. Although we can moderate the effect by using the above items, it is best to correct this at the root as the core to living a happy life must be that you feel it is largely under your control.
We have under our control our ability to take care of ourselves, avoid most real dangers (which are few), and to provide adequate security. If we have to control people and events because we feel we are dependent on them, then there will be so many things going on that we cannot control that we will be forever juggling assumed dangers and living a life of paranoia, in a sense, where we are "at the effect" of it - and not in charge of it.
Learn this vital lesson. Affirm it. "Get it", as it is something you cannot afford to not know and be certain of. You are not dependent on "out there" and you can cause plenty of great stuff in your life - you can choose to be fully in charge of your life.
Miscellaneous notes for the author to integrate
What will I do with this day? model
Use covey, self care exercise tendercaring
Not just to overcome in the moment but a training..