The big crimes
How does one become qualified?
Do you want to be qualified? (Then do the program!)
For instance, being a nice, well-intending parent doesn't make up for the damage to the child resulting from your ignorance.
When I ask "Well, do you know what to do at the various ages for children to develop, such as in the Eriksonian Stages of Child Development?"
The almost-always answer of "No, but I love my children very much and am doing my best for them" is not "enough".
We need to have ourselves get to the level of "enough". It makes no sense to choose to operate below "enough."
THE BIG CRIMES
The context of our discussion here is not about blame (which is also one of the biggest lessons you can give your child) nor is it about "bad intent", for none of us would seek to harm our children.
Harm is harm.
Manslaughter still kills a person even if there is ignorance and/or inappropriate functioning but no bad intent.
The decision not to create the crime starts with the realization that there is a potential crime and that one must do something now to learn to be smart enough not to commit the harm.
Simple things like:
Leaving a baby to cry "because it trains the baby to be independent or
stronger" (a harmful effect on trust and a feeling of safety in life).
Rescuing our children from feeling bad because "we love them" (and/or
making excuses for them) (they become less capable and hold on to the
You say "but I mean well". But this is not about a moral judgment. It is just about results. And you can only create the results you want by becoming competent in doing what helps create those results!
HOW DOES ONE BECOME QUALIFIED?
Not just being a nice person or a happy person or a good person.
But by becoming an adequately knowledgeable person (in the subject) such that the desired results show up. It's always about "results"!
Yes, you can't determine or cause all things, but you can do a helluva lot toward making a difference - where it counts the most (outside your own self)!
You would approach this as you would do learning in any one area:
Through a systematic, non-random approach
From accurate information, using knowledgeable experts
Getting all the guidance and help you can
DO YOU WANT TO BE QUALIFIED?
Is it worth it, to become a master of what will contribute to your children?
Is there anything other than your own happiness that is more important or where you can make more of a difference in terms of actual impact that you care about?
If the answer to the above is yes, then the only next question is "where do I start, right now!?!"