It's just a dream
Feeling bad prospectively or retrospectively - smart?
We actually buy into it, as if it were real
And then we add (negative) commentary to it!
How to use movie scenarios to create great success
Relevant possible coping statements
IT'S JUST A DREAM
"I took a class from Patricia Garfield on dreaming years ago. The key thing I remember is that once you realize you are dreaming you can then take control of the dream – because it is YOU that is doing the dreaming."
If you are not observing something that is in the present, you are doing the equivalent, though awake, of dreaming or visualizing something. You are "making up something". That something is not actually real - and it is imperative that you always remember that it is you who is making all of this up.
However, we can make this process useful, by making up stories that are useful - in terms of helping us visualize a great future or to dream-think a pleasant dream.
Indeed, we can enjoy the movies of our mind, but we never should believe they are real. Indeed, we can choose to let go of the horror movies and the sad movies - and to not believe them. Indeed, we can create any movies we want to.
For it is true that we are the creators of it all. (Whether we created something years ago or now, whether we created a belief that someone else provided to us... we, not our supply source, are the creators, even if we were 'stupid' at the time...)
FEELING BAD PROSPECTIVELY OR RETROSPECTIVELY - SMART?
We spend much of our time making up movies, as alot of what we think about is not just "bits of data" but some ongoing drama. Our movies about the past can be useful, if we need to go back to find some data that we can use to make life better. In fact, our whole system in our brain is set up to try to match data with memories and strategies of what to do (recordings in the brain) so that we can predict what the future will be and manipulate it to be as we want it.
The problem is not "the data" but what we take as being real.
Essentially, we often create feeling bad retrospectively (about the past) and prospectively (projecting into the future how we will feel but feeling bad about it now).
Each recording we bring up from the past has a "complete" recording which includes the emotions felt at the time.
WE ACTUALLY "BUY" INTO IT, AS IF IT WERE REAL
I remember feeling so bad as I thought about how miserable I was when I would walk, already exhausted, into the dry cleaners in the morning. I also added regret about not being smarter (matching up a dysfunctional belief with the recording of the past).
Nowadays, when I think of something that has me feeling bad related to the past, I simply say "Wait a minute! That's the past. The past does not exist now. That is only a memory. I don't need to feel that feeling. Right now in this moment I am ok and there is no need to feel that feeling. I now drop it!" (If you were making up a mantra or a coping statement, you'd say something like: "Not real. Not here now. I'm ok right now."
It certainly makes no sense to bring up a past bad feeling and to re-experience it! That would be the height of stupidity, if we were thinking about whether it was stupid or smart. However, we do it, because we don't bother to engage the higher brain.
The sole mechanical purpose of feelings is to motivate one to do something toward survival. Allowing oneself to simply feel a feeling that has no relevance to now is a waste of time.
After all, in all the great disciplines of the great masters, don't they all have some form of "oh, there's a thought. It's just a thought. It's not real. I'll just let it float by." That's a good part of the value of meditation: training the mind to "see" what is real and what is not. The interesting thing is that we not only get trained, but the mind actually rewires itself so that the left pre-frontal cortex grows and is able to do more of its automatic, pre-conscious function of screening out what makes sense and what doesn't. (Read
AND THEN WE ADD (NEGATIVE) COMMENTARY TO IT!
"x" + ain't it awful = Useless Unhappiness
"x" + oh, it's normal = Okness
A projection of the future + an ain't it awful = Useless Unhappiness
A story of the past + an ain't it awful = Useless Unhappiness
It is your choice, as the creator, as the chooser, whether to experience useless, unnecessary unhappiness
HOW TO USE MOVIE SCENARIOS TO CREATE SUCCESS
Successful people choose to heed this sage advice: don't borrow trouble from tomorrow by worrying. Worrying, at its root definition, is twisting and choking something to death (mostly yourself!).
Instead of worrying about things, the successful person makes a movie about what could happen, anticipating the worse scenario. And then he/she prepares him/herself to deal with it effectively, essentially rewriting the ending realizing that we can control ourselves, acquire skills and knowledge, and acquire help from those who are knowledgeable. So a "prospective movie" plays out in detail the bad scene and then creates a happy ending, which may take some work to achieve but will be well worth it.
Writing out the movie in detail and the prospective solutions is "productive anticipation" in lieu of "unproductive, harmful worrying." And share the movie with an individual with excellent perspective and knowledge to test it and tweak it to where it is powerful and where you are confident.
Do this with a number of these, and your confidence will soar. What's more, you'll actually experience success by creating it ahead of time.
Visualization as a movie-like process
Developing full insight into the future is well worth the effort, as it motivates one by using our normal human "reticular activatiing system". This scientifically proven human trait is actual, not a myth. It is a natural goal seeking system that will look for ways to have you reach your goals. Yes, people do have fears and things that get in the way of this system working fully. However, since you will use what successful people do, in that section, you will seek support and lock in accountability where your own current discipline and habits have not yet been sufficient. Essentially, one MUST do all one can to guarantee the success that one wants in life, including writing out future scenes and having systematic effective support systems and resources.
Read Visualization As A Planning Strategy, including reading the positive framing piece and seeing ahead, plus the "Visualize feel" piece. Without completing the dreams mini-workbook in that section, you cannot possibly create the life you would love..
RELEVANT POSSIBLE COPING STATEMENTS
You'll note that in meditation and in all lasting philosophical disciplines thoughts are seen as not being real and are acknowledged as mere thoughts and then dismissed (let go of) in some way.
"I see that I made up a story. I need not also add an 'ain't it awful' to it. It simply was what it was and I need make nothing of it. It is just a story."
"Hey, hold on here! Is this story actually 'truth'? Does it reflect reality right at this moment? I think not. What is reality at this moment is .."
"If this story is significant enough, I will write it down and then run it through the Changing Beliefs process."