Just in note form for now, but the ideas are there...
Who would you be without your story? A great title for Byron Katie's book
Shaking the story out of your view of who you are creates freedom to be all you want to be (or at least alot more of it). A story is a structure within you are trapped, sometimes deadened.
The primary story: I must be who I am, I must maintain it for if I change it people might not like me or I might not get attention..
It is a story that is a complex set of beliefs that explains and justifies who I am, while still complaining about it, holding in the straight jacket, not daring to upset the apple cart, the image, but seeking to have things be better but by doing the same thing....
What is a "story"?
Dealt with strongly and clearly in the Landmark Forum. It is interesting to note that when it is explained the first day many of us thought "oh, that's clear. I understand it". Then over the next two days we learned that we did not truly understand it at any deeper level where we could make true distinctions that would have us be able to truly implement the idea.
If you had no story to maintain and focus on, then you could operate from Who I Actually Am , which is not based on an identity or any fixed idea.
Without that story, you could simply choose how you would "be" and live fearlessly, without having to worry about your being able to create something good no matter what the outcome.
Obviously, just as the idea is true that you are not your actions since you are only the one who acts, who you actually are is the being who creates the "way of being". The "way of being" is like a suit one puts on and wears for the time being, but in this case the "way of being" has one operate from a different and most likely more productive point of view.
If you choose to "be kind", then you are choosing to have that as a value and a viewpoint from which you act. You might tend to be more careful not to hurt someone, be more compassionate, be less self concerned, be happier and therefore more open and productive. In other words, that viewpoint is to be adopted, taken on, assumed, in order to achieve a desired result.
The point is that it is temporary but useful, and it is only a viewpoint, but a useful one.
Not being tied to a limiting self image frees one up to do what is best. And surely a self-image is a story - a story about the past and how it keeps you trapped, though it may not be consciously recognized.
If there is no value in keeping on telling a story, then it would only make sense to stop it. If we operate without being stuck in right-wrong and choose to only operate with the idea of "what's workable" for the best results, we'll stop trying to maintain and to protect unreasonably; we'll stop defending except where it is appropriate, which is mostly in physical terms.
realizing there is no past and there is no future, except in our minds
realizing there are no actual threats (in 99.9% of the situations), so there is no reason to "hold" onto and protect one's identity.
safety?
trap of being loved, so stay the same...
