This can be very illumination...and freeing!!!!!
Shaking "the story" out of your view of who you are creates freedom to be all you want to be (or at least a lot more of it). A story is a structure within you are trapped, sometimes deadened. (See the link in the sidebar.
THE "PRIMARY" STORY
The primary story: I must be who I am, I must maintain it for if I change it people might not like me or I might not get attention... or "who I am" is a permanent thing (total BS!).
It is a story that is a complex set of beliefs that explains and justifies who I am, while still complaining about it, holding yourself in a straight jacket, not daring to upset the apple cart, the image, but seeking to have things be better but by doing the same thing.... (the definition of insanity!)
WHAT IS A "STORY"?
What is a "story"?
Stories are dealt with strongly, in depth, and clearly in the Landmark Forum. It is interesting to note that when it is explained the first day many of us thought "oh, that's clear. I understand it". Then over the next two days we learned that we did not truly understand it at any deeper level where we could make true distinctions that would have us be able to truly implement the idea. If you had no story to maintain and focus on, then you could operate from Who I Actually Am , which is not based on an identity or any fixed idea. Without that story, you could simply choose how you would "be" and live fearlessly, without having to worry about your being able to create something good no matter what the outcome. Obviously, just as the idea is true that you are not your actions since you are only the one who acts, who you actually are is the being who creates your "way of being". The "way of being" is like a suit one puts on and wears for the time being, but in this case changing and choosing one's "way of being" has one operate from a different point of view, one that is most likely to be much more productive in life.
The way you adopt a view is like this: If you choose to "be kind", then you are choosing to have that as a value and a viewpoint from which you act. And that changes your behavior, your very way of operating in life. For instance, you might tend to be more careful not to hurt someone, be more compassionate, be less self concerned, be happier and therefore more open and productive. In other words, that viewpoint is to be adopted, taken on, assumed, in order to achieve a desired result or value.
The point is that changing one's "viewing point" can be taken as as a temporary but useful way to change the way you live in your life. Yes, it is only a viewpoint, but a useful one. And you can keep reupping it and use it for the rest of your life, contributing to a whole new way of living.
THIS FREES YOU UP!
Not being tied to a limiting self image frees one up to do what is best. And surely a self-image is a story - a story about the past and how it keeps you trapped, though it may not be consciously recognized.
STOP IT - AND DROP IT!
If there is no value in keeping on telling a story, then it would only make sense to stop it.
If we operate without being stuck in right-wrong and choose to only operate with the idea of "what's workable" for the best results, we'll stop trying to maintain and to protect unreasonably; we'll stop defending except where it is appropriate (which is mostly in physical terms).
Realizing there is no past and there is no future, except in our minds frees us up to become who we choose to be.
It can allow us to have a sense of no danger and therefore a sense of safety ... being free of imaginary threats existing only in the mind!
It can free us from the trap of having to be loved (or liked) in order to prove that we are OK and lovable. When we're in that trap, we often have to hold on to being the same, out of fear of upsetting the apple cart by not maintaining the mask of being something we're not.
I might add more to this piece, in which case I'll let you know, if you are on the blog (click on the navigation bar at the top of this page).