Q. HOW CAN I TERMINATE MY CONTACT WITH THIS PERSON, AS IT BUGS ME UNBEARABLY TO SEE HER AT THIS SEMINAR SERIES I GO TO? SHE IS DRIVING ME CRAZY AND TELLING ME NOT TO WORRY BECAUSE SHE'LL IMPROVE.
The pressure is probably coming from the battle between doing what is necessary and the feeling of being a bad guy if you're not being kind and supportive. Of course, this is solely from a "story" you're telling yourself, so it is not "real"; this is a process you'll learn over time as you get a perspective on what is real and what is not. Stories are not real and have no power per se, except that which you give them. They are just BS and it is up to you not to give power to BS.
The circumstance is not the problem. It is your thought about it that creates the problem and you need to get underneath that to see the "conversation" that is going on. It is not about what is happening now; it is definitely about the past. Going away from the circumstance is a way of "solving the symptom", but it is definitely not solving the problem (which is the belief under the story you're making up).
Telling her she's driving you crazy (a big make wrong "victim" statement) will do absolutely no good. Eliminate that type of "you" statement from your conversation for all time. The fact is that it is you who creates 100% of your emotions.
You'll need to set a boundary and make a request of her, in a no-blame way. Request a "time out" of at least a month for you to be able to resolve things for yourself and, perhaps, to give her time to "change", as would be illustrated by her behavior and communication to you after the month.
You need more awareness around this in order to reach underneath it and in the long run to disappear it.
I'd recommend you read the following:
Psychology, Emotion Management,
Anxiety/Fear: Threats and Fear
Overall Blame, Ager, Shame - Myself - A Questionnaire
Immature Emotions - Shame, Guilt, Self-Pity...
Book: Complete Confidence, Sheenah Hankin (The title is accurate but the content includes a
very useful discussion about shame, blame, guilt, etc.and a strong stand about how to get
rid of their influence!)
Methods Caring, Feeling Presence - Loving Yourself
Rational Analysis - What Happened (A form leading you
Overall Compassion and The Human Condition
Communication Learning Not To Criticize Yourself And Others
Sustaining Relationship Rules and Contexts (although written for another
purpose, there are some viewpoints [contexts] that could be
The Life Mastery Process
Underlying Basics of Life Part I
Underlying Basics of Life Part II