LIVING IT OVER AND OVER...UNTIL...
If you haven't seen the movie, watch it before reading this!
THE STORY AND THE ANALOGY
Although simplified and greatly dramatized, the 1993 film Groundhog Day is a perfect analogy (metaphor?) for what goes on in most people lives, to varying degrees.
Now how do I know that it goes on in most people's lives?
By the evidence, of course.
A bit like Dr. Phil's mantra: "So, how's that working for ya?"
The evidence is always measured in the results produced in one's life. If there are a number of parts of life that are not working, those are evident results.
And the result is always based on a cause that has the same quality - good or bad - causing good or bad results. If we never fix the cause, we will repeat the result over and over - and wake up everyday with it being the same Groundhog Day. The cause is always based on a belief that is erroneous, but believed to be true! (Of course, each of these must be corrected!)
As written in Wikipedia: He "finds himself in a time loop, repeating the same day again and again. After indulging in hedonism and numerous suicide attempts, he begins to re-examine his life and priorities."
"He uses the time to learn, among other things, how to play the piano, how to sculpt ice, and how to speak both Italian and French."
"Eventually, Phil is able to befriend almost everyone he meets during the day, using his experiences to save lives, help townspeople, and to get closer to Rita."
Of course, the lesson is obvious, but few heed it (judging by their lives remaining virtually the same afterwards).
If you keep doing what doesn't work, you'll keep getting the same crappy results. (And probably blame it on "life" or something in the path causing you to be permanently stupid about this.) Expecting otherwise is the definition of insanity. Keeping on keeping on getting bad results is also the definition of insanity, for what reasonable person would like to keep getting the same bad results and not want to change that.
To change this, we must first stop and take time to, as mentioned above, "to reexamine his life and priorities". He went through the first step, which is always awareness (or you can't know that you need to change) - awareness of the bad results and that he was causing them. This one insight about how we are "at cause" is a key to progress in the future, for if we think that we are "at effect" we will continue to be passive and feel like a victim.
When it is circumstances, other people, and/or our "bad past" causing us to be permanently badly programmed, we will be, for sure, not inclined to do anything (or much) and bound to not complete the process to get the right results. How we can believe that nonsense beats me! Yes, outside stuff does have some impact on us, just as if we are playing a football game, but we can accept what happens and then do some action that will produce the best results (touchdowns!) with skillful play.
Besides having the viewpoint (the true belief) that we are response-able for our life, notice that the other element is to learn so that we can see what works. The next step is, of course, to implement what works, through thinking and through deep practice.
Notice that he had to stop telling his stories about how bad life was, how bad people were, etc., as those were keeping him stuck, sucking up all of his attention, so that he had no attention left to use for making progress.
He had to do something to break the cycle that was keeping him stuck.
This is always the case for all of us humans!
THE SOLUTION IS ALWAYS THE SAME
Although this is on other pages, perhaps in slightly varying versions, here is always what must happen in order to get to the end point in the process of getting the results we want!
1. Aware that we are suffering because we are getting bad results (aka a problem or "breakdown"). See the simple or longer worksheet for breakdowns (link from Breakdowns).
2. Decide that we need to do something about it.
a. However, the knowledge that we are 100% responsible for our lives is an
essential conclusion to arrive at first.
b. Part of that is to not be stuck in "morality" or right/wrong arguments and to
only have the view this as something that is to be done to create better results in
3. Plan what to do, especially what to learn.
5. Apply the knowledge gains via practice and "grooving it in".
a. Keep adjusting and learning until we have fine tuned it to the point of
1. Seeking feedback to see what else we need to do.
b. Stop doing the thinking and actions that contributed to the poor results, e.g.
cease telling the "stories" that keep one stuck.
6. Finish the mastery to the point of being able to produce the desired results.
This is essentially the process and the type of thinking that is involved in Living Life As A Life Champion. Notice that a life champion doesn't get that way by stopping short, by just relieving the feeling of the moment, by stopping short after getting a few insights and tips - he completes the whole process - and then he can relax into the automaticity of his new habits and the definiteness of knowing he has "sufficient" competency in the matter involved.
WHERE TO NEXT?