Ironically, we seek happiness, but we fail to learn how to do that. We don’t even know what truly makes us happy – and how can we find success in anything without 1st identifying what the factors are that have proven to be behind being successful. One of the keys to being successful in any area is to identify the Factors For Success.
NOW <------------------------GAP------------------------------> SUCCESS
(Where I am) (What is in the way and/or missing) (Desired results)
Copy if possible
Plan (Decide options, choose, organize)
THE KEY QUESTION TO ANSWER: HOW DO I CLOSE THE GAP?
In the above diagram, we must first identify what the gap is by determining where we are now and where we want to go – that is the gap.
The we must identify what is in the way and/or missing, which includes figuring out a way to get from where I am to where I want to be.
But notice that “not knowing” is a huge missing, that is overcome by learning. Determining what is missing is a huge part of planning successfully, as a plan is designed to figure out how to fill in what is missing.
Those missings and a way to fill them in are determinable and very doable.
However, we cannot fill in those missings nor achieve our results if we have barriers to to doing them (or to “seeing” them).
WHAT IS THE IMPORTANCE OF THE BARRIERS?
If we were without friction and without barriers, then happiness in life would be easily achievable - we would simply learn and act to get the results.
But it is the barriers that are the key to having us not get what we want. Therefore, we absolutely must handle those or we can't be successful.
Doesn't that make sense?
THE "EMOTIONAL WEIGHTINESS" IS A HUGE BARRIER
Many people have noble goals and are absolutely committed to achieving them. But they are like a person in training for running. We can improve his technique, practice, run, build up his endurance, but if he weighs 300 pounds it will all be for nought - in terms of winning in life.
When we have "contra-energy" it is like weight, canceling out energy, slowing us down. When we are upset, which is virtually always because of our erroneous beliefs, we are trying to run with extra weight plus doing it in mud up to our knees - it is unnecessarily effortful and at the same time ineffective.
WHAT ARE THE BARRIERS?
Obviously, to remove barriers we must identify them - otherwise we are "blind" to them.
This is the role of productivity management, psychology and practical philosophy (including "transformational" thinking of a practical nature). These are what is often grouped into "growth" - kind of an amorphous, indistinct blob which has associated with it all sorts of prejudice, which is in itself a barrier.
The barriers, in general, are:
1. Lack of knowledge/learning in an area where we want to achieve good results. This is actually the biggest one, since we are capable of learning almost anything useful, but we don't - and we criticize ourselves unreasonably for mistakes, which are simply from a lack of sufficient knowledge. (Read Sufficient Knowing to make a vital distinction here.)
2. Lack of physical energy and physical well-being (mostly self-created from lack of self-care and too much stress)
3. Untrue fears - Based on untrue personal misbeliefs. We fear things that are solely in our head and/or will not actually affect us much "out there". We create suffering and struggle needlessly, when there is no "real" threat.
a. Self-criticism, having to be "good enough", having to "look good" to avoid criticism and/or please/caterto others.
b. Using "punishing" as a method of motivation. (Hurts self and others and is, on the whole, harmful.)
c. Pleasing others instead of being authentic and relying on one's own power.
d. Blaming others, criticizing them, constant comparisons
5. Untrue self limitations
6. Escaping, seeking relief, distraction
7. Incorrect philosophies and beliefs so that you are doing what doesn't work and/or not able to adjust to what would work
8. Lack of knowing the basics of what works - And not applying what leads to the requisite forming of the knowledge, where the tools of learning and thinking are not developed enough and/or are not used. Also, not knowing the tools of productivity causes one to waste much time and to not achieve what is wanted in life!
But most of us continue leaving these barriers in place, doing the equivalent of trying to run through the mud, carrying a 100 lb. weight, trying to learn to run faster and/or be stronger. The run would be much easier if we removed the barriers of weight and of the route through the mud. We miss this obvious way of making life easier, thinking that the learning to run faster and be stronger are the solutions. NOT SMART! I recommend, instead, learning and thinking and then doing what works!
How do you handle those. Try the links above, preferably doing the quick improvments and then perfecting as much as you can of the basic tools of learning and thinking, returning to a full implementation of shedding the untrue fears, self-limitations, incorrect philosophies and the lack of knowledge of what works.
THERE IS A PRICE TO PAY AND A BENEFIT TO BE DETERMINED
We seek to learn the secrets from magazines or even books, but we try it haphazardly, with no systematization and often not from reliable sources. And then we leave huge gaps in our knowledge and never truly complete.
But we suffer over and over and over, which we could stop simply if we had acquired the necessary knowledge and skills. That takes alot of time. Those who give up too early or don't even start are plentiful - and are wasting the potential of their lives. Life is not about suffering.
You absolutely can learn to be free of fear, free of false beliefs, free of distractions, and reaping the benefits of life in abundance - which is priceless, beyond valuation, humongous - and achievable.
But to be an expert, you need to spend at the very minimum a 100 hours a year. And if you want it more quickly, you need to spend more hours. But there is a funny effect on your time, as you spend hours in becoming a life expert, you begin to save more hours than you are spending! How's that for great?!!!!?
I pay a price in hours and effort for something, then I get back the "money", in a sense, and then I respend that money getting more money. Except that this is the currency of life, where we are buying what is of the greatest value. You'll be ahead of the game in a relatively short term - and then investing your profits, creating a wonderfully better life.
Just do what is necessary to make your life work now, investing most of your spare time (of which there is considerable) in becoming a man/woman without barriers (or with fewer and fewer and fewer, over time)
But do it the fastest, most systematic way, but at a depth of completeness.
This is the order in which to learn and then upgrade life:
(You might go through and hit what is most urgent, to get some immediate benefits, but you should return and then go through this thoroughly. Just applying systematic problem solving, especially with help, will vault you forward. In many cases, you can just use the forms directly. As you read the pieces, print them out [as early as possible so you can annotate and underline them) and keep them in a notebook with dividers. This is meant to fit in alongside you doing your regular life.)
Quick where I am and where I want to be
A starting plan
Problem solving and decision-making
Review the Principles and Laws (especially The Completion Principle)
Learn what reality is and acceptance of reality - they are the base from which to re-work beliefs more effectively
Do the belief modification process - it is "the great freeing process"! And it is the most time-consuming, but you need the other pieces above before you can do this part optimally, though it is ok to take a first run at this and then to return and complete.
Learn peace of mind processes.
Learn the pathway to happiness
Clarify your values
Write your life philosophy (keeping it for additions over time), so it is true and
Do your life plan
(until these are linked on this page, just enter then into the search engine, above.)
SCHEDULING TIME TO DO THIS
This is not meant to push out other things that should be done nor do you want to set it up so that other things can push this out. Don't mix them up.
During this time, you'll have to give something up, but something of little importance or at least not of equal importance.
It is best to do this in a concentrated fashion on a set day, most likely making an appointment with yourself every Saturday for 4 hours. And that time must not be compromised or given up casually. Only emergencies and higher priority can go into that time.
Time at night is used mostly inappropriately and with very, very little payoff, but the energy is also low. The only way around that is to either exercise or to take a a nap. You should also go to bed early and get lots of sleep, as if you were in training. And have positive reading around, such as inspirational books, so that you are filling yourself up and avoiding psychologically draining activities.
Some of the reading can be done in the morning (a 1/2 hour, let's say) and then do an additional 1/2 hour in the evening. If you can set aside an 1 hour that would be better.