CONTENTS
Ot the total, 99+% is "curable
Become an expert, in order to not suffer
The basic causes of suffering
Do the opposite of the causes of suffering!!!!!!
Further learning
The opposites of suffering
_____________________________________________________________
PAIN IS INEVITABLE, SUFFERING IS OPTIONAL.
Buddha
You are the sole creator of all off your "bad" feelings. It is not the circumstances and it is not other people that create it. Learn and understand the basis for this great truth.
The BuddhaKahuna
OF THE TOTAL, 99+% IS "CURABLE"
If one adds actual physical pain together with all the suffering, suffering is 99% of the overall total. Since we create that suffering ourselves through dysfunctional, erroneous, untrue beliefs, we can "uncreate" it. And, in the process of getting to the ability to uncreate it, we create true, functional beliefs - which are the ones that are the source of the ability to be happy!
So we swing from a minus score to a big plus score. (Most people have a minus score even though they will say otherwise. People who say they are happy, when scientists checked in on how they were feeling, at random times, found that people were stressed and/or mildly depressed [especially after a half hour of watching TV!) - the net results were mostly negative!)
BECOME AN EXPERT, IN ORDER TO NOT SUFFER
Becoming an expert in this topic allows one to be an expert in "not suffering" and enables a greater level of happiness. I consider it an area that is vital to understand, as did the Buddha and the other wise guys.
THE BASIC CAUSES OF SUFFERING
Basically, we are given one heck of a great package deal in life, with some "negatives" and one spectacular amount of positives. If one "sees" that, one will accept reality (which is a source of Power In Life, as the opposite, resisting, is a source of disempowerment).
In Buddhism, as in other top philosophies, it is the fact that we continue not seeing that we have a good deal, so we search around for ways we can get "more" so that we will be happy. Until we get more, then, we are by definition not happy during the interim. The Buddha calls that (needless) suffering, self-created, and causing much damage. What he said is true, but there is one additional element that is necessary to actually create the suffering.
Though we'll explain this in more detail, we add to "what is" a meaning that says "this is awful" or, actually similar, "this is threatening", which then triggers the fight/flight response in the body and we then "feel bad" (due to chemicals in the body being out of balance and "uncomfortable") Other than an actual physical threat, the fight/flight response is totally created in reaction to a "non-threat", just an illusion we made up. We made it up when we weren't real smart or rational yet, earlier in life, yet we choose to still believe in those unexamined false beliefs.
That's it, in a nutshell.
The means to the "cure" is discussed below.
Use it and all the struggles of life disappear and the complexities fall away.
THE VIEWPOINT CREATES THE "RESULT" (FEEL GOOD/BAD)
We experience life through a viewpoint (I call it a point, a figurative place, from which we view things) or some call it a filter. It is also called a "way of being" (see the section on how that works: Being).
Of course, you've heard this concept before, but most people create a trite understanding of it (which is hardly any understanding) and don't realize the full impact of it and that it provides the most valuable tool an individual can choose to use - that of choosing to insert oneself into a role (a figurative place) that has a healthy point of view to run life through.
When I say that the viewpoint creates the "result", I am talking about the most important result from your point of view: how you experience life.
Anyone with any study in the area of psychology knows that it makes no sense to live life as if a stimulus is the cause of our feelings and actions - one of the most damaging of all untrue beliefs. The so-called "stimulus" is simply a neutral event to which we add meaning through our beliefs, which then cause our feelings. If the feeling is a "bad" feeling, it is always from an untrue belief.
The point of view that works for the greatest effectiveness in life is knowing we are able to choose and create our own beliefs and thus are able to create our own emotions. In a very real sense, we choose our emotions when we choose to hold an untrue belief as true.
Sometimes we are "fooled" into believing we are just a victim of an immutable pattern, i.e. that the way we are is the way we are, as if it is a given. The reason we think that is that we keep on choosing to use the same pattern over and over, creating the same result over and over. When a person sees this, there is access to freedom from it. If one "looks" and then states what is happening, life looks like this. I am creating this, I am creating this, I am creating this...and so on. Then when one sees that one is just recreating old recordings from the past and using them to run one's life, one has the freedom to create new recordings and patterns to live. If one's life is not as one wants it, then choose to stop doing the same thing and hoping for different results. (The latter is, as you know, the definition of insanity.
It is from the untrue beliefs that we create something called suffering. We have no control (other than avoidance) over physical pain, though we can offset it with medicines and health practices. The pain is inevitable. But we need not suffer "about" the pain and we need not suffer about illusions of meaning that we make up.
When we recognize the illusions and no longer honor them or believe them, when we know them for the unreality they are, then we are free to choose what we want to put into "the space", so to speak, to create a great life. (See the movie A Beautiful Mind, and note that he was, metaphorically, doing the same thing, and this created a whole new life. Definitely see it!)
And we create something called suffering, suffering that is totally unnecessary. Essentially, we suffer because we add a thought the equivalent of "ain't it awful" or "I can't stand it", both of which are false statements. Indeed, Buddha nailed it when he said "pain is unavoidable, suffering is optional." [I recommend that you do not choose to take the latter option!!! (Duh!)]
It is helpful if one knows what the sources of suffering are AND also knows what the opposites of suffering are, such as gratitude, self-soothing, a clear philosophy.
THE CURE: DO THE OPPOSITES OF SUFFERING
The key viewpoint from which all that works emanates is that of choosing to be a Rational Nurturing Adult, and, correspondingly, to recognize and choose to not be the being of a Child. Implicitly you already know most of what is included in the set of characteristics and ways of being included in the Rational Nurturing Adult Role. You simply need to choose the role and all those knowns will immediately act in your favor, with an immediate boost in personal power.
One who chooses the being of a child is pulling a racket. So it is good to apply the process to see what the racket is and what the great costs are so that one can make a new choice of a way of being and let go, forever, of the old way. That is the access to a new powerful way of being, and, indeed, to happiness itself.
Healthy thinking emanates from being in a powerful, rational way of being. Healthy thinking causes "good" emotions.
Unhealthy thinking, which is erroneous thinking, is the source of all "bad" emotions and suffering.
I highly recommend you choose healthy thinking and all that supports that, including learning more about the skill and the viewpoint.
When something isn't feeling good, consider whether you can harvest it for a good result (i.e. to figure out what would feel good).
Almost always, you can simply follow the rule of doing the opposite of what makes you feel bad.
These are some of the opposites, to insert into your life and not only displace the suffering but to convert life to the opposite:
If you think about it, you can add some others - and then "do" them.
Note that the opposite of suffering is happiness.
See below The Opposites Of Suffering.
Note that not choosing to do the opposites of suffering means that you are choosing to allow yourself to suffer. You are the one who gets to choose whether or not to suffer!!!
FURTHER LEARNING
Learning the causes and eliminating them
See other sections for processes that contribute to suffering and processes for eliminating it, such as in the section Psychology Overall, "Sentences" and the section Psychology, Emotion Management, Fear/anxiety. Indeed, while we can have sadness and other natural emotions, we can choose not to create the extra suffering. See The Dialogue About Beliefs, Foolishness, And What To Do About It - a key grounding piece for all of psychology.
Under the Emotion Management section, we deal with the emotions of fear/anxiety, unhappiness, guilt/shame, regret/remorse, grief and others where we exacerbate the pain by misusing and misinterpreting these emotions, resulting in creating more pain and suffering.
I recommend you discontinue that!
The "big cause"
MOST SUFFERING IS A RESULT OF ANTICIPATING
FUTURE SUFFERING...
Why we experience emotional pain
Integrally connected to that, you should understand the basis for emotonal pain, as defined in Pain - Avoidance and Magnification. In this, you'll learn that suffering is, indeed, optional. We can have pain and still not suffer.
Deeping a bit deeper, we should understand and know the Sources of Suffering , which addresses the basic 3 sources and the variations and how not to suffer anymore. Additional insights are in the piece What We Suffer
About (Under Buddhism, which is a discipline where there are many useful pieces of wisdom and useful practices, but, first, I found it to be necessary to pull out the esoteric stuff and to get to the basic truths, so you'll see those included on this site - understand these basic truths, as a foundation for the rest of your psychological well-being.)
The successful opposites
Since wishing things were different than what exists and since hoping for and depending on something to make one happy in the future are the key sources for suffering, it is necessary to understand why and how Accepting Reality makes a huge difference.
place.
How people can trap themselves
In the Accepting Reality section, there are two pieces which relate to the unhappiness traps we set for ourselves - which we actually believe are true and a given condition we cannot overcome!
Letting go of the so-called (but not actual) 'need' for approval and letting go of the
An example of "non-suffering"
"suffer" from emotional pain need to learn that the suffering is created by them!
A piece for more perspective:
suffering even when there is pain...
Read the few key pieces under Overall Philosophy, in the Philosophy section, as it covers expectations, view of the world, and acceptance.
See the discussion in Buddhism, especially the Four Noble Truths Rewritten.
THE OPPOSITES OF SUFFERING - When something isn't feeling good, consider whether you can harvest it for a good result (i.e. to figure out what would feel good). Almost always, you can simply follow the rule of doing the opposite of what makes you feel bad. These are some of the opposites, to insert into your life and not only displace the suffering but to convert life to the opposite. The opposite of suffering is happiness. (Enter the items into the search engine. Also, add some of your own.)
