The model looks like this: Intervention Model Graphic Overview.

Run your life this way, and you'll have a great life.

(A brief distinction here:  As an example of an emotion, shame might be described this way: "I did something wrong.  That puts me in peril.  I feel bad about that."  Note the "feeling" that is caused.  We tend to use feeling and emotion interchangeably, but emotion is generally considered to hold in it the whole process.)


1.  Emotions are merely mechanical, chemical signals.

   a.  They do no damage, unless we continue the physical reactions and
        thinking that causes them to persist, as they dissipate in 90 seconds
        without reinforcement.

    b.  99% of the negative feelings are just from illegitimate fear/danger
         thoughts, which can be corrected. (!!!)

    c.  Since emotions are physical, doable physical actions will affect and
         change them.  See Quik-Reference For Restoring Emotional Balance.

2.  We can do effective offsetting physical and mental mechanics to calm them down or to fire them up.

3.  People vastly misunderstand (and misuse!) emotions.

4.   A person absolutely can, without a doubt, achieve emotional mastery, and,
     as a result, achieve unconditional happiness.

5.   A person, if they follow this site's programs, should be able to:

     Have every day be virtually stress-free.  Nothing less is acceptable!


Emotions are vastly misunderstood in terms of what they are.  Because of this, we tend to misuse them, giving them the power to run our lives.

But they do not actually have the power to determine our actions, our behaviors!

And we can (we must!) actually gain the ability to "look at" them and to
differentiate as to what importance they have - and we can actually, with ease, just let them pass, while we choose better ones.  We can only do this if we learn that the meaning we are attributing to emotions is total nonsense (or at least somewhat).

And we can live our days virtually stress-free.  That is the ultimate objective of this section. (When we are living otherwise, we are doing so needlessly and harmfully!)


Emotions are chemical signals that cause (novitiate) us to correct threats, at any level, to our survival - and also to do what had us survive. 

To understand them, one needs to understand how they came about.  I recommend absolutely that you read and understand the piece on Evolution - And The Logic Of How Our Minds And Bodies Work.
The "emotion mechanism" itself works fine, but we have added in not-valid contents to react to.  We have added in "thought threats" that are not based on reality and which create needless emotional stress.  You can see it in our lives, our bodies, and our quest for relief. 

All we need do is learn about them to a sufficient degree to eliminate that which is not true and not functional.  It takes some time to do this, but its benefits (including huge time savings) are immensely worth the effort!

I would classify this as essential learning, but learning that is not completed by most people.  People simply 'quit' learning way too soon, not realizing the incredible benefits of being able to actually manage their feelings - and therefore the very quality of their lives.

That is what this section is about.

I subtly suggest that you:


This is the very core of your life!

THE OBJECTIVE - To live in 

The Emotion "Zone" of high effectiveness, low stress, feeling good and powerful.  No stress at all most days.


"High stress is just a part of this modern life.  It's a given.  You're full of it if you think we can live such a utopian, virtually stress-free life!"

No, I'm not kiddin'!  Life need not be "hard" and/or stressful if we learn to live what is necessary and Live Life As A Life Champion (adjusting, correcting, upgrading frequently and being "complete" in our knowledge and practice of it).


Your emotions determine the quality of your experience of life!  And, thus, your happiness (an emotion that can be enduring if you develop the base for it being so).

I.    Beliefs cause emotions, not people or circumstances.

This you MUST know if you are to be in charge of your life and happy. It will take awhile to get rid of your old (victim) beliefs. (Some "instinctual" mechanisms cause motion without thought, before we have time to think but only when it is necessary that we react so quickly that we can't spend the time thinking!  See Evolution

II.   Dissolve blame and criticism beliefs and you eliminate the great majority of negative emotions! 

Resistance to reality, which is useless, is a necessary habit/routine to eliminate. 

III.  Dissolve false fear beliefs and you eliminate virtually all the other negative emotions! 

And the ones left will be like those of gazelles.  They simply will motivate us to run to save our lives - and then we simply burn off the chemicals and go about grazing without worry.

IV.  Affirmations without thoroughly believing the revised beliefs do not work very well.  Believing, and convincing yourself with facts and sound reasoning are the key.  


Of course, now you need to know what is to be done, hopefully via a specific path (a program, if you will) that you follow and when you complete the path you have the desired results. 

This path well, of practical necessity, be one with milestones.  At each milestone, and as we go, you will reap more and more benefits, feeling better as you, being more than rewarded for your efforts and time!  A bit like school courses:  1st 101, 2nd 201, 3rd 301, etc. 

Oh, and did I mention some time would be involved - shortcuts don't work and those who seek them do not end up well off in life - never!

So, you could

1. Read the articles, largely in the order listed, in the Contents/Links sections and subsection of emotional management:  Contents/Links Emotion Management


2. Follow the Emotion Management Learning/Implementation Program.

In the early years of my research I found that most theories didn't work and/or that there was no way to actually implement them.  So I had to find and try more possibilities to see which worked - if they didn't work with me, then how could others who've studied alot less make it work.  So these are all "field-tested" - and they work - happily for me! 

Have a great voyage!!!!

If you for some reason scrolled past the big white space, these are just notes that have been reorganized into other sections, so that the pieces are more usable for learning purposes.  Ignore them, follow the program and/or use the contents/links section.

1st:  SEE 'THE TRUTH' (how things actually work):

Emotion is just a physical sensation from a strictly mechanical  electrobiochemical process, initiated by the mind perceiving an association with a pattern - a process which evolved to help us survive better.  Emotions are useful, but... 

They are a temporary condition, soon to pass (1 1/2 minutes if not fed)

We "interpret" emotions and then "make up" explanations, often incorrectly.

2nd: DEVELOP THE SKILL, as a huge, huge must(It is developable and it changes one's  whole life.)


All emotions can be dealt with in the same ways (in doable, not difficult ways):

Curing the cause (solving the symptoms does not stop the problem)

    Clarifying the "mentally constructed" (erroneous) belief.
    Getting rid of unrealistic expectations
    Curing unrealistic projections
    Curing the "criticism, blame" syndrome
Breaking the circuit

    Always, first, "the pause" (a split second is sufficient)
         Then... Asking a question engages the higher brain, breaks a bad
    Distinguishing the cause as based on something not true
    Using "reciprocal links" to warning system to 'retrain' (rewire) reactivity
          level, plus build the size of the screening system in the left pre-
          frontal cortex, next to the "happiness center"
               Mental exercises
               Certainty, safety, "sufficiency" exercises

Resources that help you distinguish

       The Believing Brain, Michael Shermer - We "make up" explanations.
        Understanding The Brain, The Teaching Company - 36 lectures, DVD -
             We "make up" what's missing - that is as a normal brain function, which
              cannot, by definition, be "the truth", even though sometimes correct. 
              An emotion is only a physical sensation from the mechanical reaction
              to a set of patterns in the brain...(get at 70% off)

We'll summarize and explain these for you. (So you don't have to read all the books.)


You cannot be effective in life until you learn and know

1. What the function of the mind is (and, first, of course, how it works) and
2. Until you know who YOU are (such that you are not confusing threats)

A vital distinction is for you to know who YOU are and what YOU are not.  YOU are not the mind and it is not you. You are not that which you acquire, including traits, experiences, skills, etc. (which I am relatively sure that you don't believe, but when you do, you then have less to 'protect' and/or defend - and a major part of stress and suffering disappears).

The emotional system is a mechanism of great capability but limited to being like a child.  It serves one master, one value:  protecting you, doing all it can to have you survive, in a primitive 'better safe than sorry' overkill mode - and if you don't distinguish when it is doing that, you will be reactionary and victim to it for your life - unnecessarily suffering.

Emotion is not "the master", though it can generate powerful energy (chemicals) to motivate you through discomfort and such.  But it is not YOU.  It does not determine your behavior, what you do, nor decide your actions. 

The YOU is your higher brain.  The higher brain is YOU, from which you experience life and from which you create meaning, in the form of values.   And it is YOU that must decide to do what is necessary to move toward those values, even while the mind, like a child, is kicking and screaming.  YOU've decided what is of value and that you will seek freedom,  being fully alive, and being fully happy - it is not your mind that decides!!!

Read and see clearly Who You Are and then Whether The Mind Or YOU Will Rule

With that, let's go through definitions and causes for emotions, as follows.

DEFINITIONA set of biochemical sensations (physical feelings) to which we add, via beliefs, a pleasant or uncomfortable interpretation, so that we seek it or seek to relieve it accordingly (called "urges").

An emotion is merely an inner urge to act - you don't have to act on it - it is just a biochemicalelectrical set of physical sensations - and no real threat!!!!  And it is not a command, nor an indication of the truth!  (People who believe the latter are stuck in the explanation that was made up to fill the gap of (mis)understanding; however, it is a legitimate factor to consider.  See Intuition.)

Notice that most emotion is a result/effect of a belief (a "rule", in a sense, where something is "made up" about a happening as being a threat or a benefit, with the rules often being erroneous and never examined for validity) - if you want a different emotion select a different (better, true) belief.

ESSENCE"Emotions are a means to an end, but they are not the determiners nor are they mystical forces that pounce upon you and take you over.  They are merely feelings based largely on beliefs - and they are something we manage rather than vice versa.  First, you must fully understand how they work and what they are.  Next, we correct the negative beliefs that lead to negative emotions.  And, then, with practice, keeping the healthy beliefs in mind gets easier and easier.  Developing power (and habit) through practice completely transforms one's life and happiness."

                                                                 The BuddhaKahuna

"People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them."


"I am noticing some tension and uncomfortability in my body.  It is a signal for me to look and then determine what to do.  I see all emotions only as signals and as friends, to help guide me.  I never "make-up" that they are something to fear."

This is a coping statement, aka a "perspective" statement, which would be added to one's tool kit for life, as part of one's philosophical foundation.



Navigating the section
For Perspective also...
The Wonders Of Emotion
Most Of It Is "Learned" Reactions
How Does One Manage His/Her Emotions?

Continue on from this page to:

Discussion Of Emotions . This continues from this page, into more depth. 

    Dealing With Specific Emotions (and emotion management issues)

           Deal with specific emotions, linked via this Specific Emotions page:

                Addictions, Anger/Critic, Fear/Anxiety, Depression, Frustration, Grieving, Pain,
                Guilt and Shame, Inspiration, Overwhelm, Regret, Sadness, Stress,
                Suffering/Struggling, and more... (Go to these using the search engine.)

Reading on Emotional Management Overall



      Changing one's life viewpoint.  Choosing:

           ***Our Personas - Inner Child, Outer Child, Adult, Adopted Personalities - Understand
           Sentences - Re-"viewing", Re-"forming", Renewing


Navigation in this section is best done through the contents/links for the emotion management section (or, of course, the search engine, on major pages). 


See also, for the necessary perspective and knowledge for managing one's life:
The Underlying Basics Of Life Modules 


As we learn in studying evolution, the function of emotion is to get us moving very quickly without having to think. 

You jump out of the way of a speeding car you somehow detected, though it was not directly in your sight.  Emotion has saved your life.  If you had to think in order to recognize the danger, and think about what to do, you would not survive in life. 

And it is those very features that get us into trouble also. 

The "art of the deal" is for one to learn what to do the minute one becomes conscious of it in the higher brain. 


If you study how the primitive brain works (and matches up records mechanically, in order to figure out what to do) and you study the key unhappiness emotion of Fear, you learn that "most of what frightens us are things that we have learned, and therefore it should be possible for us to unlearn them."  [Quote from the meeting with scientists and the Dalai Lama, with other Buddhists, under the auspices of the Mind Life Institute, as described in Daniel Goleman's book "Destructive Emotions".]


Three parts:

1.  Rework the underlying beliefs that cause the "negative", unhealthy emotions.
       (There's three primary overlays that when dealt with disappear others.)
2.  Rework one's underlying philosophy of life to create a super strong
3.  Manage/eliminate the emotions in the moment, effectively!

Using these techniques, which have been proven over and over to work, will help you live a more stable, more powerful life where the emotions no longer rule.  Managing one's emotions well can enhance one's motivation and one's thinking so that one feels (and is actually) very powerful and effective.  Yes, emotions (caused by chemicals emitted in the body) are compelling, but they, by no means, must rule one's life.  Emotions are results of thoughts/beliefs/fear-thoughts - ruling the thinking creates all of the results in one's life - ALL of them!  (And we can train the mind [actually rewire it] to be calm and largely imperturbable.)

Many of these emotions were useful in caveman days, but they are misused and overused today. 

Consider taking the "Emotional Maturity" test to see where you are at.

In this Emotion Management section, we include topical coverage pieces to read. Read the overview ones first (they're identified), in the Emotional Management Overall section.  

Return to this section after reading the rest of the overall discussion on emotions:

       Discussion Of Emotions - A vital link to understanding and mastering them.
              Essential:  know what function these were originally designed for and                  then you can manage them!!!!


Return later to review:


For more emotions, go to the Detailed Contents of The Psychology Section.

Look to see which problem or desired result is and simply go to that section.  However it is best first to understand the basics of emotions, as that understanding catapults you into greater effectiveness when you get to the specific item to apply it to!

GROUNDING SUMMARY MODULES - To put this and overall life into perspective:

     UNDERLYING BASICS OF LIFE PART I - Psychological "learning", barrier elimination
     UNDERLYING BASICS OF LIFE PART II - Creating a much more powerful way of thinking and

READINGS ON EMOTION MANAGEMENT - See the classified emotions.

Related pieces:

      Our Personas - Inner Child, Outer Child, Adult, Adopted Personalities

      Read the piece below but it is useful also to get a bigger perspective on life
          by reading the "quick summaries" on
             The Underlying Basics Of Life Section I and Section II 

      Sentences - Processing Into Empowering Statements - The key to
          mental health and happiness.

As a part of your learning and implementation process, read and understand   CONTROLLING THE EMOTIONS IN THE BODY - SIMPLE AND QUICK , as these actions and techniques are directly doable and practical and don't require some quantum leap in thinking - i.e. they're not hard to do.

Read per interest:

(F)                 Behavior - My Choices - A Questionnaire
(F)                 Personal Operating Style - Testing 
                    *Short Temper

             Blame, Anger, Criticism

(F)                 Blame, Anger, Shame - Myself - A questionnaire - Find out what is going on for you
                        and minimize these, for a happier life.  See also Relationships,
                     Criticism - Desensitizing Yourself To It 


                     Choosing What To Control and Not Control - It is vital for good psychological health to
                        be clear on those things you can control and what you can't.  Finish this here and

              Down - See also Depression and Handling Depressive Thinking In The Moment

          471      Up From Down - Creating It     

              Emotions, Feelings, Emotional Maturity

                     EMOTIONAL MATURITY TEST - Where are you? 
                     Choosing to Feel More And to Master Emotions - Being unaware makes it impossible
                         to master emotions, so one becomes the victim of them.  Avoidance in order not to
                         feel in the short term leads to much negative emotion and the desire to distract
                         oneself with unuseful, unhealthy activities.
                    Overactivating The Feelings You Want Lowers Your Capacity For Those Feelings! -
                       We overeat, smoke to get "dopamined", drink, drug out - and what we get is less
                       "feeling good"!

                  Specific Emotions - Go here first:  Detailed Contents Of Psychology section, for
                        many, many more emotions and special sections beyond the writeups below.

                          Frustration - Frustration Tolerance Level - Increasing It And/or Lowering Your
                             Frustration - It is well worth putting out the effort to stop any frustration cycle. 
                          Immature, Negative Emotions - Shame, Guilt, Self-Pity...
                         *Impatience and Its Effects   
                          Overwhelm - The Formula for Handling  
                          Pain - Avoidance and Magnification


                     Intuition - Often misused, but if used appropriately it has much contributory value.

             Overall Life

(F)                 Rating of My Viewpoint of Life

             Problem Solving - See special section also:  Problem Solving.

(F)                 Problem/GoalSetting/Breakthrough Form


(F)                 The Psychology of Resistance - Handling It      


                    Cultivating Emotional Balance - Endorsed by the Dalai Lama, they teach teachers
                          the theories and practices of psychology regarding emotional balance, including
                          cultivation of attention and qualities of loving-kindness, compassion, empathetic
                          joy and equanimity.
                     See Emotional Intelligence for training of children in the schools and other training.
      SENTENCES - RE-"VIEWING", RE-"FORMING", RENEWING - This section has been moved         to the Internal Conversations section.  Perhaps the most vital component of formulating a
        happy life. A sampling:

(F)                 Sentences - My Rework of - Deeper Form, Simpler Form    
(F)                 Sentences - My Rework of - Simpler Form                                        
                     Sentences - Processing Into Empowering Statements 
(F)                 Sentences - Reworking The Whole Conversation to Be Empowering                

Back to top 
Back to top 
Back to top 
Use in the moment:

Quik-Reference For Restoring Emotional Balance

See, when needed,


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Contents/Links Emotion Mgmt

The criticism, blame" syndrome contents/links

Whether The Mind Or YOU Will Rule - The first essential to be 100% clear about.
Who You Are - A vital understanding.
Reality - Failure to differentiate is very damaging.
Quotes of wisemen: Beliefs,
   thoughts, and emotion 
For those in The Emotion Management Program, required basic reading:  Mind And Emotions, McKay, Fanning, Ona, with worksheets.  Excellent.
Emotional Mastery is "Step #1", as it is the foundation for your whole life.

We must, first, know what emotions are.  Use the Resources For Emotion Mastery page. Start with the "What is emotion" video (19:02) at Yale.

The process is always

A = Activating Event
B = Belief/interpretation(s)
C = Consequential emotion, behavior

Animals go virtually from A to C.  Humans can intervene at the time and can permanently change B to dramatically change C and to upgrade the quality of thinking and of the experience of life.

1.  See, for overview and articles →   Contents/links Emotion and Fear Management    

2.  Use → The learning tools and emotion modification tools (link to them from that page)

3.  Consider following the program for emotion management (and the checklist):

Emotion Management Learning,
  Implementation Program.

But, first read the overview below
(then go to the links page)