A "personality" is partially a chosen and partially a conditioned way of being, thinking, and behaving, largely believed by oneself as the best way to get what one wants in life and/or to avoid what one does not want.
A good portion of the base of it is initially created in a murky, low understanding condition of unthinkingness and insufficient knowledge. The raw materials that are digested into it are that which is "suggested" (or input) by others, supplemented with our own unthought out interpretation and made-ups about what we believe to be true and workable (although it is seldom adequately tested). It is not an actual part of us, not an arm nor a leg nor any other part, though we often choose to keep it or a modified version of it throughout our lives. It is not the actual "who I am", for I have the capability of so altering my knowledge and understanding and questioning and replacing all of the elements that it would serve me to change. It is only something I've adopted, no more permanent nor no more a part of me than barnacles on a ship's underside. However, I will not choose well if I choose in ignorance, so, to accomplish what I want in my life, I must attain "sufficient knowing" to be able to make a good choice.
The bottom line is that I can choose and I can change my personality to whatever serves me.
Of course, this will take some time and well-directed effort, but the payoff is in life itself, in being able to live out my life at a higher level of existence and in true, deep, enduring happiness.
What personality we choose to keep or take in is a choice - and in no way is it a given! In no way is it "me"! I am not stuck with it; I only stick with it - or I don't stick with it if it does not serve me.
Now, if we are to have the life we want to live, we must begin, with commitment of time and resources, the journey of learning what is needed and learning about life itself.
We "assume", and live into, ways of being, in the form of "personas" and personalities, all of which we have constructed artificially and unusefully. Which we "take on" and live into determines the quality of our lives and ultimately our happiness.
You are not stuck with any predetermined way of being. You get to choose.
Choose wisely. This IS your life.
Will you choose to take on the Child (and Victimhood) persona? Or the Rational, Loving Adult (100% Responsible) persona?
The myth of a "child within" or any other mysterious entities is purely fictional - and a bit "nuts."
PERSONAS (AND "WAYS OF BEING")
Personas are "sets" of characteristics and behaviors, often grouped by type and/or by a character in your past. We can choose what to adopt, but we should also choose which to moderate - such as a copying of a critical parent figure, etc., or the use of the personas of Victim, Persecutor, or Pleaser.
The choice to use other ways of being and to be a Rational, Loving Adult is imperative for getting what you want in life. Victimhood only begets being a victim, with its poor payoffs and horrendous costs. Learn in depth about both of the two key personas (the other is The Child Persona), so you can fully be where you want to be - this is an area to be a true expert in!!!!!
Instead of just keeping the old dysfunctional persona, you can choose more powerful personas and life a much better life!!!
Who cares about one's personality types? It's not about "good" or "better". It's actually a quick guide to what is relevant to a person in terms of what types of problems or weaknesses he/she will encounter and the ways to shore those areas up to enhance the strengths of such a person - it provides a key to living a better life. When one is experiencing some kind of "problem" in how one feels, one can look at, particularly, one's "enneagram" type and find out why and what to do about it.
That's time-saving and saves time from feeling down. That's pretty powerful.
SOME BASIC GROUNDING READINGS
model to understand all the basic overview in psychology and in relationships.
This should clear up which part of you needs to be in charge and will add insights
that will help you see how certain practices and ways of viewing things will
enhance your life tremendously.
dramatically increase your higher brain functioning so that it is automatic and so
that life runs much more smoothly and effectively for greater happiness.
handle this and your relationship with yourself and others will dramatically
(See also the Criticism, Blame, Negative Communication section under
ability to change one's "ways."
Understand and know these personas (roles, ways of being) so that you are not
inappropriately in them - so you can live a much, much, much better life.
order to develop a greater ability to spot what is going on and to "get off it".
THE PERSONAS AND "WAYS OF BEING" -
Little Me) - Has its own section
Readings per interest (Read per interest, see above for key pieces for everyone to read. Read
especially those titles that are capitalized. The pieces on child are also now in the special
section and reorganized for possible order of reading.)
operate from beliefs that work and from a paradigm of what works,
instead of right/wrong, good/bad. This piece tells us how we can live it
much, much more effectively.
Knowing this model and how these pieces work together can make the
difference between operating at a lower level and operating at the
highest in life and for happiness. We derived certain strategies and
beliefs that were very poorly thought out and are very dysfunctional -
and it is our job to use this model and process to elevate them to
highly functional. LOOK AT THIS FIRST.
The Outer Child - This is "The Other" Us that we create to protect us, but which can
be highly dysfunctional. Learn what it is and how to better manage life.
you are engaged in - you may wish to make some new choices, however!
you ready to give them up?
what compassion really is, rating yourself as you go. Most people don't know
what compassion really is!
what they are and how to stop having them use you!
Victimhood only begets being a victim, with its poor payoffs and horrendous costs.
and damage your relationships or do something about it? First take this test to
see what reality is.
Moved to its own page: Personality Types. See also "Personas" (above), as many of these become "personalities".