SOME BASIC GROUNDING READINGS

                       THE ETERNAL INTERNAL TRIANGLE - AN EMPOWERING MODEL - Use this

                           model to understand all the basic overview in psychology and in relationships. 

                           This should clear up which part of you needs to be in charge and will add insights

                           that will help you see how certain practices and ways of viewing things will

                           enhance your life tremendously. 

                        THE JUDGE/CRITIC - This is a great deal of the basis for psychology.  Learn to

                           handle this and your relationship with yourself and others will dramatically

                           improve. 

                           (See also the Criticism, Blame, Negative Communication section under

                            Relationships, Communication.)  

                         IS THIS WHO I AM, THE WAY I AM? - People miscontrue who they are and the

                            ability to change one's "ways."  

                         THE CHOICE: BE A VICTIM, PLEASER, PERSECUTOR OR AN ADULT -

                            Understand and know these personas (roles, ways of being) so that you are not

                             inappropriately in them - so you can live a much, much, much better life.

                             THE DETECTION GAME - WAS I BEING A VICTIM, PERSECUTOR,

                                PLEASER OR AN ADULT? -  A form to practice with for a few weeks in

                               order to develop a greater ability to spot what is going on and to "get off it".

THE PERSONAS AND "WAYS OF BEING" -

    Child - Main Page -  (or Inner Child, My Child, My Little Girl/Boy, Poor

         Little Me) - Has its own section

    Judge/critic/protector,

    Adult,

    Adopted personas

         Parent (my copying of my parent) - As in Transactional Analysis 

         My idol

  Readings per interest  (Read per interest, see above for key pieces for everyone to read.  Read

       especially those titles that are capitalized. The pieces on child are also now in the special

       section and reorganized for possible order of reading.)

                      See also Relationships, Communication, Criticism/Blame...

                      For "taking care of your inner child", see Feeling, Caring Presence under Methods.

    LIFE - A CHOICE OF HOW WE LIVE IT - We can live a life where we

        operate from beliefs that work and from a paradigm of what works,

        instead of right/wrong, good/bad.  This piece tells us how we can live it

        much, much more effectively.

     ADULT, INNER CHILD, "OTHER" CHILD - THE ETERNAL

          INTERNAL TRIANGLE 

         Knowing this model and how these pieces work together can make the

             difference between operating at a lower level and operating at the

             highest in life and for happiness.  We derived certain strategies and

             beliefs that were very poorly thought out and are very dysfunctional -

             and it is our job to use this model and process to elevate them to

             highly functional.  LOOK AT THIS FIRST.

                     Adult, Parent, Child Model - Behaviors of each

                     Inner Child - Do We Really Have One?

                     The Outer Child - This is "The Other" Us that we create to protect us, but which can

                        be highly dysfunctional.  Learn what it is and how to better manage life.

                     The Outer Child, Logic Of - This is how it "thinks".  This helps one see which of these

                        you are engaged in - you may wish to make some new choices, however!

(F)                    Being - Choosing States Of

                        Being - Ways Of     

                        Characteristics of My Caregivers      

                      *CHILDHOOD DECISIONS AND TOOLS - Are you still operating from them? Are

                          you ready to give them up?

(F)                    COMPASSION AND THE HUMAN CONDITION - A LOOK AT YOURSELF - See

                           what compassion really is, rating yourself as you go.  Most people don't know

                           what compassion really is!  

                        Immature Emotions - Shame, Guilt, Self-Pity...  How we misuse them! Find out

                           what they are and how to stop having them use you!

                        Inner Child - Do We Really Have One?    

                        PERSONAS AND ROLES - Which Are Dominant For You?   

                       As A Powerful Person I... 

(F)                    Responsibility Vs. Non-Responsibility - Where Are You?  (Self-rating)

                       Victimhood only begets being a victim, with its poor payoffs and horrendous costs.

                        Where Are You On The Victim Vs. Causer Scale?    

    RATIONAL, NURTURING ADULT section - Imperative for getting what you want in life.              

                              

    Behaviors

             Codependence, Enabling

                       Do I Have Some Patterns Or Characteristics of CO-DEPENDENCY?  And What Do

                           I Want To Do About This? - Do you want to continue to waste much of your life

                           and damage your relationships or do something about it?  First take this test to

                           see what reality is.

PERSONALITY TYPES - This section may or may not be beefed up, but be sure to see the

              Recommended Resources in this area, under Psychological, Personality Types

Who cares about one's personality types?  It's not about "good" or "better".  It's actually a quick guide to what is relevant to a person in terms of what types of problems or weaknesses he/she will encounter and the ways to shore those areas up to enhance the strengths of such a person - it provides a key to living a better life.  When one is experiencing some kind of "problem" in how one feels, one can look at, particularly, one's enneagram type and find out why and what to do about it.

That's time-saving and saves time from feeling down.  That's pretty powerful.

Personal Personality Styles

The two tests you should take personally are for the enneagram and the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory.  They provide one with a clear picture of traits, weaknesses to shore up, strengths to emphasize and use, and useful suggestions and insights.  Review these so you are clear and write out 2 things you'll work on in the next month and 3 other things to work on later.  (Schedule them!)    

The Enneagram

In order to cope as a child, we unwittingly mastered a limited repertoire of strategies, self-images, and behaviors. 

To compensate for a particular type(s) of fear, a "basic desire" and a basic personality arose.  A "personality" is our set of coping mechanisms, including patterns unique to our "personality type", which is what the enneagram identifies.  Our personality is no more than a collection of conditioned reactions, fears, and beliefs.

It is important that we do not stay asleep in our personality, for it limits who we are to a small room in a mansion.  The enneagram system identifies patterns for each personality type and how to let them go in order to fully experience living.

A highly useful classification system, named for its "diagrammatic" format.  Not at all "mystical" or unclear, it is an excellent way of nailing down who you are such that it expands your knowledge of yourself and how to create a better life.  One interesting aspect is the levels that one can rise to over time within a particular personality type.  For instance, the achiever goes from competitive and driven to a teacher and mentor at levels 8 or 9.

  

Action: Using  www.enneagraminstitute.com (which I give an "A" rating to),

1.  Determine your type.  Take the $10 test.  (I've worked up a "test" where you read the key characteristics of the personality types on one page and on the second page you identify the patterns and "non-strong" areas for you.  This can be a way of directly identifying your type and it also gives a great perspective on what is running your life and what needs to be addressed:  Enneagram Personality Test.)

2.  Look at the themes within that type.

3.  Read what is helpful to "resolve" the weaknesses

4.  Implement from the guide as to what to do to shore up your weaknesses and to increase your strengths. 

Other internet resources:

     B +      www.enneagramworldwide.com.

     Wikipedia's coverage of the Enneagram: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enneagram            

The most useful book:  The Wisdom Of The Enneagram, Don Richard Riso and Russ

                      Hudson.  Very practical, to the point, lays out how each type (and combination)

                      thinks, what each type needs and wants, the strengths and the weaknesses, and

                      what to do about them.

           

Overview readings:

Enneagram Personality Types - One page summary of each type, with key characteristics and description of who the person is and what they tend to do naturally and well.  

 

Enneagram - QuikSummary of The System - Summarizes the key points in a semi-outline format, so one can get a good view of what it intends and how it is helpful.    Lists the specific patterns for each type to overcome.                                          

 

Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory

1. Read wikipedia.org's summary. 

2. For more detail go to www.myersbriggs.org.  Nice summary on personalitypage.com.

3. Take the tests, scored right on the internet at www.humanmetrics.com (call Jung Typology on that site) and/or www.personalitypathways.com.

DISC Work Style Assessment - See work style discussion below, and internet references.

Work Styles

                        The Work Style Personalities and Awareness Levels - Gives an overview, with

                           references, of both the Enneagram types and the Work Style types in the "DISC"

                           system of "work styles" such as Dominant/Driver, Influencer, Service, and

                           Controller/Conscientious types.  The work style classification system helps one

                           learn how to adjust to one's own personality and how to work with the others

                           without friction and with more productivity - very effective.

                           Enter "disc work style assessment" in the search engine.  Primary ones to read

                           first are Wikipedia.org's and discprofile.com.                                                                                         

PERSONAS AND PERSONALITY TYPES

KNOW THESE SO YOU KNOW HOW TO OPERATE

YOU CAN ALSO CHOOSE THEM!

Contents:

   Some BASIC GROUNDING READINGS 

   The PERSONAS and Ways of Being 

   PERSONALITY Types 

PERSONAS (AND "WAYS OF BEING")

Personas are "sets" of characteristics and behaviors, often grouped by type and/or by a character in your past.  We can choose what to adopt, but we should also choose which to moderate - such as a copying of a critical parent figure, etc., or the use of the personas of Victim, Persecutor, or Pleaser.

The choice to use other ways of being and to be a Rational, Loving Adult is imperative for getting what you want in life.  Victimhood only begets being a victim, with its poor payoffs and horrendous costs.  Learn in depth about both of the two key personas (the other is The Child Persona), so you can fully be where you want to be - this is an area to be a true expert in!!!!! 

Instead of just keeping the old dysfunctional persona, you can choose more powerful personas and life a much better life!!!

Read and understand how and why to choose Ways Of Being.

PERSONALITY TYPES

Who cares about one's personality types?  It's not about "good" or "better".  It's actually a quick guide to what is relevant to a person in terms of what types of problems or weaknesses he/she will encounter and the ways to shore those areas up to enhance the strengths of such a person - it provides a key to living a better life.  When one is experiencing some kind of "problem" in how one feels, one can look at, particularly, one's "enneagram" type and find out why and what to do about it.

That's time-saving and saves time from feeling down.  That's pretty powerful.

      

THE MOST SIGNIFICANT DECISION/CHANGE YOU CAN MAKE

To shift from

  

   Child and Victimhood

To: 

Rational, Loving Adult

   

The viewpoint and clarity change can create a quantum leap forward in one's life.

PERSONALITY Types

What is your personality type?

What changes are recommended?

What strengths to utilize better?

Enneagram

Myers Briggs

Work style