See next: Affirming/Empowering Self-Talk, after which we'll proceed to what forms the basis for creating that self conversation: Assuring that we have true, useful beliefs. After that, we'll proceed to what effect those beliefs have in terms of emotions.
HANDLING INTERNAL CONVERSATIONS
- COULD PROVIDE THE WHOLE FOUNDATION
FOR A WHOLE NEW LIFE!
THE MOST POWERFUL CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE WILL COME FROM CREATING AN EMPOWERING INTERNAL CONVERSATION.
Nothing else can beat it, as it is the basis for one judging one's life experience and worth. It is the doorway to all the rest; it enables the journey; it becomes the context for all of life.
Few people have "straight, positive" thinking - and even almost all of them could "beef it up" in certain areas to be more effective/powerful in their lives. For the rest of us, it is imperative that we
DO NOT ALLOW ANYTHING TO PREVAIL AGAINST OUR HAPPINESS.
Managing the mind is our most important job - as it is, in fact, our very life - it is what creates the quality of our lives where we live, in our minds. It is what allows us to not be limited by assumptions/beliefs about ourselves and life.
A conversation is a stating of a belief, thought, and/or fact. As such, we are working here with an overlap, where we need to create a sound basis for a conversation by revising beliefs, implementing new beliefs by making affirming statements, controlling the thought process, and learning what is true or not.
So, while we need to deal with those components, we also would best realize that we are always talking to ourselves (or at least hearing what is said) even when we are making statements to others, which is why we need to control our languaging to that which is positive and progressive.
THE STEPS TO HEALTHY, HAPPY, WISE INTERNAL TALK
1. Stop allowing negative conversations - In your head and in your environment. (See pieces below.) Note that "dealing with symptoms" is not true problem solving, which is a skill that is vital to living a great life.
2, Identify AND Rework negative conversations - Address the core ones first for fast progress, using your current increased knowledge and your reasoning. (See pieces below.)
Install wise conversations on specific items - Repeat, read, record
Override negative thoughts when regular key sentences
3. Establish a new, strong foundational philosophy that will pervade your thinking for the rest of your life.
Install it fully - 1st 30 days, with reminder dates to review and reinforce
USE RESOURCES TO MAKE IT EASIER AND MORE EFFECTIVE - Smart, qualified helpers and books and courses. See Psychological Resources section. There are some items we can add to this, such as implementing new practices that contribute to this, using resources to reinforce who we are (such as ToolsToLife, free), and reviewing the related sections, such as the Happiness section.
FULL SELF-EXPRESSION - With the limiting beliefs no longer putting a lid on freely expressing oneself.
MUCH HIGHER ENERGY - Without the suppression, there is more energy. With positive focus on what is desired, energy is actually created.
MUCH MORE FULFILLMENT - Without disempowering conversations and with empowering conversations to replace them, we are freed up to do the things that matter most and which "fill us up" so that we are much more satisfied!
MUCH GREATER HAPPINESS - Eliminating the negative, inserting the positive and the powerful, fulfilling more of one's desires, feeling good about oneself and feeling effective, etc., produces easily more than 10 times the former levels of happiness and probably 100's of times more on balance. (See the Happiness section to see what does and what doesn't produce happiness and what unknowingly creates more unhappiness! Note that people are notoriously inept at predicting what will actually produce happiness, and they keep doing what doesn't work!)
WHY DON'T PEOPLE DO THIS?
So, the question remains: Why do people neglect this? The answer is the same as for other neglected areas:
1. They don't believe there are workable solutions/methods.
There are doable, workable methods! People have done it.
Sometimes people think it doesn't work because they have seen people
"fail" because they did not complete the process and fully utilize the
methods, so, of course, the result was never obtained.
Many have not adopted "maintenance" systems to keep it going.
Those who have followed the complete program have completed and
installed the maintenance systems and are delighted with the
2. They don't know how to proceed.
This is what we have focused on, so that you have an established
path with doable steps in it. We have read, searched, and screened
many, many books and resources - and have settled on what we see
as the "best of the best".
3. They believe it is too much effort.
It is less effort and alot more enjoyable than the alternative of
repeating negative thinking and the wasted time in life coping with
negative thinking - plus the addictions, loss in health, etc. People
continue suffering needlessly. People seek distractions for "relief"
from their thinking - and those distractions are very unrewarding and
use up lots of energy that could have been placed toward something
much more fulfilling.
4. They don't clearly see ALL the benefits.
If they did, they would put this in the very first priority position!!!
FULL SELF-EXPRESSION - With the limiting beliefs no longer
putting a lid on this.
MUCH HIGHER ENERGY - Without the suppression, there is more
energy. With positive focus on what is desired, energy is created!
MUCH MORE POWERFUL/EFFECTIVE - Easily reach desired
objectives and wants.
MUCH MORE FULFILLED - Doing the things that matter most and
"fill us up" the most is so very, very satisfying!
MUCH GREATER HAPPINESS - Eliminating the negative, inserting
the positive and powerful, fulfilling more of one's desires, feeling good
about oneself and feeling effective, etc., produces easily more than 10
times the former levels of happiness and probably 100's of times more
on balance. (See Happiness section to see what does and what
doesn't produce happiness and what unknowingly creates more
unhappiness! Note that people are notoriously inept at predicting what
will actually produce happiness, but they keep doing what doesn't
WHY "PROCESS" THE SENTENCES: REFORMING THEM FOR EMPOWERMENT
During our early years and during other times when we are not knowledgeable or wise, we attach ourselves to beliefs, rules, and/or philosophies that are not empowering, not true, and which often make no sense if thought through.
In essence, though most often not on purpose, we form a “philosophy”, as these sentences we create express a “viewing point” about life – an explicit one, stated “out loud” in your mind. And then we repeat them, over and over and over...
Most of these sentences were formed as a way of protecting ourselves from an imagined or exaggerated danger.
Re-forming sentences that you spot are part of the process.
And you could approach this by addressing key areas or problems and then creating empowering (viewpoints) statements.
NOTES ON HOW TO PROCEED
Read the core readings (below) and the instructions on what to do.
Do all the "rework" process as you must go through the middle of it to get to
the other side; there is no way around it.
However, we recommend you first go through and limit yourself to the Big
Five (or so) items.
When one experiences and sees good results rather quickly, it motivates
one to go further.
Later, spread out over more time on a regular schedule, we'll complete
You will find no greater reward than completing the renewed, reworked way of thinking.
Definitely also see the following sections, as all are related to the whole:
It is vital, and hereby recommended strongly, that you first read the two parts of
handling "unuseful" internal conversations.
Read the key pieces on overall life philosophy in the Philosophy section, as they'll give you a grounding in the BS we hand ourselves and in what we can believe in order to be unhindered by childhood beliefs and beliefs that make us unhappy.
Also, see below: "Stopping Negative Conversations".
spiraling in your head and wasting your energy. This is the basis for a recording to play (or a
page to read) whenever the negative conversation is dominating your mind.
thinking to run in your mind. Take THE PLEDGE!
OTHER OVERALL READINGS AND WORKSHEETS:
Why Process The Sentences
forming" disempowering statements into empowering ones.
HANDING PRESENT NEGATIVE INTERNAL TALK
When you catch yourself in a negative conversation, do these.
1. Catch It And :
Repeat memorized key sentences.
Stopping The Negative Conversation - Read this as a substitute when a negative conversation is in your head. Contains the "short" version of not entertaining thoughts a whole set of offsetting beliefs, which are designed to "extinguish" the thoughts and not just to distract one from them.,
This is the conversation to stop the negative conversation from spiraling in your head and wasting your energy. This is the basis for a recording to play (or a page to read) whenever the negative conversation is dominating your mind.
2. Rework it immediately or asap:
Redo to reinforcing sentence. In head or writing in a notebook or journal, redo the sentences into more realistic, reinforcing sentences.
each sentence in a "chain" of sentences in the conversation that leads you down a negative path. Any one sentence can be "re-formed" into an empowering statement and/or could be entered into the other sentence forms above.
My Utility "Coping" Thoughts - These are thoughts that generalize about life which are brought into mind readily and frequently when things happen. They can be
disempowering (identify yours) or empowering. Examples of coping statements
are provided to choose from or jump off of.
WORKSHEETS FOR CLEARING UP "TAPES" AND CORE STATEMENTS
Negative Internal Talk And Beliefs To Rework For The Long Term:
Core self-belief statements that underly all the negatives
This identifies the specific ones that are common to all, so you are likely to find your own.
There are certain beliefs about yourself, at the core, that you carry around with
you that also do not serve you well. You can, without a great deal of difficulty,
re-form those to ones that will serve you well in life. Re-forming and replacing
those core beliefs allows one to easily release those numerous supporting,
disempowering beliefs that have been derived from each core belief - it is a lot like
blowing up a large building, where the charges only have to be placed at the
strategic supporting columns to have the whole building fall in on itself! Save
yourself lots of time that could be wasted on dealing with each disempowering
belief randomly and/or one at a time - which is one of the inefficiencies of most
Applies to clearing up any statement
Use this approach to "rework" any statement that you are making that is negatively
impactful on you:
The Finding The Solution To The Problem Created By The Conversation of "..."
you through all aspects of some of the key sentences you tell yourself, so you can
create greater understanding and re-form them into an adult conversation.
Thought Creation, Displacement, Re-Formation - It's Simple Physics (to be done)
In an actual situation, use this for "solution"
This process, if you have any ability to be rational (which you do!), can have you
seeing much more clearly what is occurring and how to actually come to closure. Highly, highly recommended!!
Another way of clearing things up:
Internal, repeating tapes - Usable for all "tapes" (about some particular trait or shortcoming
that is believed and repeated over and over, like a tape; "no one likes me", "clumsy", "victim",
used for other "tapes"
COPING IN THE MOMENT
thinking to run in your mind. Take THE PLEDGE!
Psychological Problem Solving
Types Of Training/Workshops/Therapies/Programs