HAPPINESS DISCUSION
HAPPINESS EXISTS WHEN:
I feel good about who I am.
I have the confidence that I can, and will, handle any situation and be able to
produce happiness no matter what the outcome.
I consider life (and its pieces) to be good. [Read Life Is Good]
PSYCHOLOGISTS DEFINE HAPPINESS AS:
- The Relative Absence of negative feelings
So we address the key items to minimize those.
- An Abundance Of Positive Feelings
So we cover how to create positive feelings.
- A Feeling Of Satisfaction With Our Lives
Happiness happens when satisfaction exists
Happiness is all of the above.
Note that the three items first listed above create those positive feelings and sustain them.
To help create the ability to quickly dismiss negative feelings, it is necessary to develop a rational viewpoint. To create the viewpoint that makes life and one's psychology work one needs to put together a solid foundational life philosophy.
A solid life philosophy consist both of the overall viewpoints about life and also the beliefs that we hold about ourselves and life; altering those core beliefs alter the framing of how life occurs for you and to you. The quality of your experience of life is determined by your life philosophy.
The feeling of satisfaction with our lives is generated both by feeling good about who I am and about my life as a whole. These feelings are magnified by practicing intentional gratitude and appreciation. Unhappiness is about what one doesn't have or could lose and it is triggered by fear; eliminating that fear is a major part of this process, where we end up developing Fearlessness.
In the life management section, we teach how to make rational choices, which process is vital to living a happy life. The ingredients of what makes one powerful in life are laid out, as one key source of unhappiness is feeling the lack of power. That section also helps one to achieve one's dreams and goals better, but it has been proven that over 80% of happiness does not come from outside circumstances, "stuff", or people.
You've heard that latter statement many times, but it is time you believed it and operated based on it.
All of these together are, of course, what is most desirable, but the necessary (and sufficient) ones are the first two: gratitude/appreciation and a solid life philosophy.
FOLLOW THE CLUES: MODEL AFTER HAPPY PEOPLE
One of the first and most effective strategies is to find and model after a person who has achieved what you want. Accordingly, you might want to learn that by reading The Attributes Of Happy And Unhappy People. So, you might want to learn the positive attribute and "unlearn" the "unhappy people" attributes!!!! (Well, duh...)
This site intends to assist you to achieve all of these.
IF LIFE IS ABOUT ACCUMULATING VALUE, THEN HOW WOULD YOU INVEST YOUR LIFE?
In the 80/20 Living Site, we advocate doing only that which is is the top 20% of what is most effective. While there is a component of insuring your basic physical needs are taken care of, much is about accumulating those things that create true value in your life - that would be from creating the best memories and from living life such that I am creating the best estimation of how good my life is and the best estimation of myself as an effective, happy human being.
Spending time learning to do those things and to increase one's capacity to do those things is the highest payoff time you can have.
THE SKILL OF HAPPINESS
The objective of this section is to develop your awareness of what works for happiness and then to fully develop the skills for happiness, including knowing how to use the tools for happiness. This is enduring happiness, with substance, that we are talking about here. It is, in a sense, "Intelligent Happiness", with one of it key elements being Intelligent Optimism, which is a skill one should master, for it will change all of life.
HAPPINESS NOW, NOT LATER
Even the Dalai Lama acknowledges happiness as the purpose of life.
Therefore, it would seem to be the first thing you'd focus on, wouldn't it?
Happiness is not a "when-then" proposition. When you achieve or get something in the future, then(you believe) you'll be happy - but that almost never actually happens. As you read that statement, you probably disbelieve it - well, please take a look at the evidence! It is vast and conclusive!
AND DON'T MAKE THE MISTAKE OF...
Human beings are notorious for misestimating the payoff of a future event or reward - they live for the future - and then it doesn't end up making them be happy. They invest their time and energy in such a manner that it has little return in the most important investment in life - one's happiness! It would seem that they would, instead, spend the effort to become wise enough to understand how happiness is created!!!!
HOW DO YOU RATE?
INVEST
There are ways to be happy now. And there are a few ways to be happier in the future but only if you invest in the right things - if you don't, you'll be about as happy as you are now, or maybe even less, especially if your happiness is now based on what you think you'll get in the future. People depend on things "turning out" and getting what they want, but often that does not provide the happiness when we get there.
You can quadruple your happiness quotient, dramatically reducing your unhappiness while increasing your present happiness.
Follow this program, put in the time, and you will be happy.
DO THE FOLLOWING TO ACHIEVE THE RESULT:
Step One: Rate Your Happiness - Is it as high as you want it?
Take a happiness test and use it as your baseline against which to measure your progress. See Happiness Tests section. You may want to jump to the one page Oxford Happiness, scored on-line at www.appreciativeliving.com.
Step Two: Ground Yourself In The Knowledge And Wisdom Related To How To Be Happy
Step Three: Construct Your Happiness Plan
We'll devise a sample one soon, but for now one can easily read the How To Become More Happy Main Module, below and combine that with The Steps To Successfully Achieving A Result (on the Success page) to devise the most worthwhile plan one has ever done in one's life!
(Some people may want to read this more like a book, by going to
Continue to the next section to read:
helps establish the distinctions of content, context, and framework in life, a vital
viewpoint.
REVIEW THE LEARNING PROGRAM:
do and in what order. This is the best approach, which also means it is the most
thorough and therefore takes more time. However, its worth is beyond measure.
READ
Then read these key readings: (Definitely read the documents in capital letters for "grounding" and an overview.)
type summary of the key points, easy and quick - no doubt which way to go!
Happiness - It is the "context" not the content! (Duh!)
than a 100 times return for your time versus other things you can do. Going to
the "core" suggested here will make all the difference. This is mandatory!!!!
attributes of the unhappy person, you'd better "handle" that!!! Make sure you've
learned how to do all of the attributes of happy people (we give you references
to go to).
HAPPINESS PRODUCERS:
Overall:
Review now and then do when there is time
What the top happiness producers are and whether you'll commit to them.
Add your own if you wish.
But note the low or no payoff ones and stop doing those!
Which things are the source of MY happiness? Short term? Long term?
Example of one set of answers to this questionnaire.
What to develop in order to have more happiness?
What is your level of mastering them?
You can, if you wish, look at the actions, planning, and learning needed to
accomplish what you want.
DECIDE WHAT TO GO FOR IN LIFE TO ACHIEVE TRUE HAPPINESS!
Read and learn
enhances of happiness you'll really go for.
FEELING GOOD - We could say this is what happiness is. But we need to create
certain types of "feel goods" that will last and accumulate durably in the
happiness bucket.
and include the best ideas into my philosophy." (D'ya think?!)
The Happiness Plan - Being written (see books and sites, below)
Happiness Coach", to follow in your life.
Specific Happiness Producers: Note: In the modules above, other producers and reducers
are discussed. To work on or read about the ones of interest, use the search engine.
GRATITUDE - Go to this special section to learn this key component of "intentional
happiness" (which is part of proactively creating happiness, since it might not
happen randomly! This also offsets our unhappiness tendency where we
exaggerate and fear losses.
make life work easier and better.
Exercisers And Practices that are effective
HAPPINESS REDUCERS: See
Overall:
and then get rid of them!!!!
doing that you might want to change!
Specific Ones:
things. A key skill in all of life.
understanding, without which you may sabotage your happiness and your key
relationships.
RESOURCES FOR HAPPINESS
Happiness Notebook - May be included in the Gratitude/Reminders/Inspiration Notebook
Table of Contents - Being Written, just add anything you find on happiness to the
notebook.
Useful websites: See also Meditation under Psychology, Methods, Thought Calming section
Easy to use:
informative, nailing some things down very well. Free e-book is good.
Other good to great sites:
A1 www.happier.com - Backed by Seligman, it includes several very useful exercises and
assessments for use in the process of becoming happier. Absolutely recommended.
with some great tests for happiness that one should take. Becoming very knowledgeable
in this area has huge dividends.
happiness. Incredible site. Better than television.
happiness tests I'd recommend as a base, plus lots of good material.
Read his free on-line booklet on happiness and/or his extensive book of two
volumes. Authoritative and excellent.
Books:
Books by Tal Ben-Sharar, the instructor of the most popular class ever at Harvard, on
Happiness:
Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment.
The Pursuit Of Perfect: How To Stop Chasing Perfection And Start Living A Richer,
Happier Life
A3 The Joy of Appreciative Living, Jackie Kelm - 3 great exercises that work simply and
daily, plus alot of wisdom on happiness and joy (which are different).
A2 Authentic Happiness, Martin Seligman - The seminal work on happiness.
module in the Life Management Section..
Free How To Be Happy and Have Fun Changing The World, Michael Anthony. A good easy
The Art Of Happiness, The Dalai Lama - This book could change some vital viewpoints!
The Book Of Happiness, Heather Summers and Anne Watson - A great read and very
practical. A good one to add to your collection. Visit their website at
The Happiness Makeover - How To Teach Yourself To Be Happy And Enjoy Every Day -
M.J. Ryan - I very much enjoy her (practical) writings.
A2 The Science of Happiness, Stefan Klein - Excellent and illuminating and a definite buy.
*The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin - A fun, but practical, look at what she did to
increase her happiness more and more and to decrease her "not-happiness".
"A cross between the Dalai Lama's The Art Of Happiness and Elizabeth Gilbert's
Eat, Pray, Love."
Class, Videos:
video teaching over a 12 week period. The instructor did the Happiness class at Harvard,
the most popular class ever, with 900 students in its third year.
