Perhaps I should put the "Perfect Storm For Creating Unhappiness" first, so that you can see where you're going wrong, so to speak. This would be in an attempt to motivate you to stop doing that which is counterproductive to your life and your happiness.
So, I've decided to list before the "do's" of happiness, the "do nots", those do's that get in the way of happiness and/or often produce unhappiness.
If you're not doing just one of the "do's, make sure you install it, for the sake of attaining the happiness that is available to you in life.
The Objective: To have a firm foundation of always existing deep happiness
Components Of Deep Happiness: When you can check these off at 80+%, you're complete "enough", more than happy. (i.e., I have reached this goal at about an 80% level.) You must be able to check these off as being true of you or you will not yet be happy - and then you need to check off the causes behind not satisfying these criteria, which are really the pieces comprising happiness!
___ I am confident in knowing I can and will handle any situation and be able to,
at some point, produce happiness no matter what the outcome. I see
there are no threats to my ego or my basic life survival and happiness in
general and I am not victimized by what happens that is out of my control.
The Four Essentials - These are included below, but they are worthwhile isolating, at least for perspective.
1. No fault, no blame, no criticism (the understanding/viewpoint and living by
2. No (illusionary) fears - Know
4. Do that which I truly, deeply value - This is how you create value in life - and
no fear of loss
THE DO NOTS AND THE DO'S
The "Do Nots"
You cannot be happy if you do these. Don't fool yourself. These are too costly, and cause you to lose the most valuable thing in life. (You can't get away with them! They must be stopped, at 90+% level or higher!)
___ Not finding fault, blaming, right/wrong and/or good/bad judging (syndrome) ___ Not making excuses, not providing "reasons why not", simply acknowledging
what has occurred and then committing to what you'll do
___ Never gossiping
___ Never retelling a negative story
___ Not entertaining the negative! (Learn that there is no benefit and to stop it!
Worry/Anxiety are unnecessary beyond the initial signal.)
___ Not expecting from "out there", just creating from yourself what you can,
which will provide more than enough to be happy in life.
___ Not needing approval (providing a foundation for yourself so you don't
___ Not judgmentally comparing with others (just living for what you want)
___ Have established a firm foundation for happiness.
___ I will handle life and produce happiness for myself. (I know that.)
to be able to create enough overall good for myself.
The Four Essentials
___ No fault, no blame, no criticism (the understanding/viewpoint and living by
___ No (illusionary) fears - Know
no fear of loss.
___ Grateful and appreciating. Directing attention to all that you have, recording
what you are grateful for.
___ Staying (or returning quickly) to your power zone (homeostasis)
___ Deep relaxation of body and breathing
___ Giving authentic care to yourself
___ A healthy belief system, established, key items written out, especially core
concern on anything above the baseline)
___ Surrounding yourself with only life-giving people (however imperfect)
___ Admitting to your (human limitations (not pretending otherwise), yet (see next
___ Recognizing the virtual limitlessness of life and what you can do
___ Simply construct what is good and the rest will come ("Build it, and they will
come." Meanwhile, be content in doing what creates the base.).
___ Striving for good
___ Accumulating "acts of kindness" (and keeping a record, reviewing it, as part
___ Reading about compassion and of life success materials
___ Knowing you will do what is needed to produce happiness no matter what the
___ Knowing that there are few real threats - and being able to tell the difference