"THREATS" TO TOSS OUT FOREVER
THERE IS VIRTUALLY NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT!
We, without thinking, consider some things to be threats that simply are not really threats plus we fail to use our thinking to differentiate the size of the threat.
In 99% of the cases, there is no actual threat. The others are most often relatively small - and we should rate those as small. Those things that we can recover from are not actual threats, except for taking some amount of our time to recover. Most of them are We simply need to be clear on this and to "talk to ourselves" with a clear and definite statement. Note that we are addressing the lower mind from the higher mind, so that there is definite input into the lower mind so that it can be "reprogrammed" a bit each time - a bit like retraining it, as it is basically non-thinking in the creative sense - it is simply mechanical and quite rote.
THE QUESTIONS TO ASK
To engage the higher brain, we simply must ask questions. If we don't do this, the rote, mechanical, unintelligent lower brain will run things, where it indiscriminately matches patterns and creates upset.
Is it a legitimate threat???
Will I land on my feet. And still be ok at or above my baseline over time.
Is it just a "mental construct"? (All created in my mind and not existing in the real world,
such as "approval")
Is it just an "inconvenience"? (This is all a part of life, and to expect anything else is
naive, at best.)
Is it just a "discomfort"? (Is it just a passing sensation based on my body's reaction to my
thinking something is a threat?)
If we use this process, we will find that there is virtually nothing to be stressed about, in terms of legitimate worries.
SOME ARE "AT THE MARGIN"
Perhaps we could still acknowledge that worries about making enough money to live an ok life are legitimate. But if a person is smart about that whole thing, he/she can accumulate sufficient skills to have sufficient ability to produce enough good value to earn more than is actually needed to have a decent quality of living.
This is a "plugging" up the hole, so that we have nothing to worry about.
The truth, though, is: Living at a higher standard of living as an objective and the possibilitiy of not reaching that level is not a “legitimate” worry but only a manufactured, madeup threat - as losing "having more than enough” is not really a threat of any sort, just a nicety or maybe a matter of pride, which is also a manufactured necessity. (Read and be clear about What I Have, For Sure, Versus Losses.)
THE TRULY MYTHICAL "NEEDS"
The necessity of “looking good” and others thinking highly of you is not important nor legitimate, unless it is in an area that affects one’s income. The rest is pride and just something in somebody’s mind.
Let's also toss out these items below, and classify them as not a necessity nor the loss of them a real threat to worry about:
Impressing others with more status
Not letting other people see that you are weak or not smart in something
Trying to maintain a false front as far as skills and abilities or being “cool”.
People rejecting you, disapproving of you.
Fear of failing as far as what others think (and if you take a solid route, it doesn't matter what
Judging yourself or others, resisting what has occurred (it's occurred, it's already happened,
now do whatever you need to do...)
Trying to impress others putting ourselves into something we cannot control but no real impact…
What else is there to worry about this in this country?
SOME "LEGITIMATELY" "SERIOUS" STUFF
Even if we fail to impress our bosses and get fired, if we are legitimately diligent and do what’s right, we will be able to consistently produce value and be a reliable employee (elsewhere). And, therefore, within our control, we have the solution to the problem, so there is nothing to worry about.
If we have a good perspective on life and don’t make ourselves out to be dependent on others there is nothing to worry about, period.
Yes, you might have a relationship not work out, but there is no way to control that. If you engage in it sincerely and learn enough to do a decent job, then you’ll be happy with your own integrity in the matter. And you’ll be able to adjust to being single, but it won’t be a disaster. (Note how such stuff has happened to you before, and how it has worn off over time, indicating that there was no real threat anyway - it was just in our mind!)
Establish your financial and life baselines at a realistic level, not a glamorous or tv type lifestyle. (Read and then definitively formulate your own answer How Much Is Enough?.)
"But I might not be able to self-actualized. Or be fulfilled."
So what? That is nothing to worry about.
We still have the opportunity to contribute to others and to create enjoyment for ourselves and to harvest the magnificence of the inventions that have transformed our lives to 10 times that of what was left for our ancestors. We are never "behind". (Consider Life From The Perspective Of A Caveman - A Tale Of Perspective.)
We,ve got lots of things to do and enjoy. We're better off than kings of old.
"But... I am not making “enough” progress in my life...!"
Better redefine "enough". You are making stuff up in strictly the fictional mind. It is not a real threat, just an optional thing not happening!!!
DON'T WORRY, JUST BREATHE, AND THEN CHOOSE WHAT IS NEXT
You'll be ok. There is no real threat. (But if there were a real threat, such as a tiger, you'd run like hell...and then you'd be ok, even then!)
BUT, WHAT ABOUT...
Cancer, heart problems, health problems. OK, you can "worry" about those when they occur, but the best strategy is to figure out all you can do to solve or alleviate (most of) the problem - and then fill the rest of the time with maximizing the number of life enhancing activities you engage in.
And then there is "being handicapped". But here is an area that we vastly overestimate the effect of plus vastly underestimate our ability to adjust. People who become quadriplegics return to a normal happiness level within a year. W. Mitchell, disfigured and partially paralyzed, is now a motivational speaker whose signature statement is "Before I was paralyzed there were 10,000 things I could do. Now there are 9,000. I can either dwell on the 1,000 I’ve lost or focus on the 9,000 I have left."