THE FORMULA for unhappiness - so you can perfect it!
Here's how to perfectly create unhappiness
What would you choose?
We are pretty good at creating unhappiness
There is a payoff, always - but is it the right one?
The motivation-by-pain belief
Obviously, do the opposite of these. Eliminate these first as a prerequisite to gaining happiness.
THE FORMULA FOR UNHAPPINESS
EXPECT TOO MUCH ("More", "better", "perfect", "flawless...)
Create artificial "needs" and wants and fall short of them.
APPRECIATE TOO LITTLE
TRY TO GET FROM OTHERS
*BONUS: COMPARE SELF TO OTHERS
The difference between what you think you should have and what you think you have is called the "unhappiness gap". The secret to closing the gap is not to fill it, but it is instead to change the "necessity" (where you feel a loss if you do not get it) about what you should have and to raise the level of what you think you have (how much you see what you do have. This is discussed in Reconstructing Our Viewpoints And Mindsets To Increase Happiness, one of the most crucial "perspective" readings. The great contributor to unhappiness is failing to use logic, thinking, and fact verification - and engaging in "stupid thinking" (non-use of the higher brain) - where the conclusions one comes to are strictly erroneous, mythical, nuts, illogical, with many of them being harmful and creating the beliefs that are responsible for creating unhappiness. All unhappy individuals must, simply must, go back and learn logical thinking - and no longer engage in erroneous thinking! The great mistake lies in failing to question and examine anything that comes up that has a negative effect. A negative effect (either in the real world or in the mental world) is always an indication of an incorrect belief, one that is not aligned with reality. The "secret" lies simply in applying "the truth test" to our beliefs and to thereby not let false beliefs ruin your happiness. (See, and do, for sure, The Program For Upgrading Your Beliefs.)
HERE'S HOW TO PERFECTLY CREATE UNHAPPINESS
Follow these ideas and keep repeating them and I guarantee you'll be unhappy, no matter what else you do in life.
Spend all of your effort on the things that produce very little happiness, so that you don't have time to do those few things that create 80+% of one's happiness. This is really great for adding to the frustration and emptiness of life!
Especially, keep on misestimating what will make you happy in the first place.
Don't bother to become an expert in happiness, stay with rumor and cultural beliefs, and keep on doing what you've been doing, hoping to get better results - that'll help one along the path of and to unhappiness.
LISTEN TO UNHAPPY PEOPLE
Listen to unhappy people, some of whom are quite accomplished but definitely unhappy:
Only great things count.
I must be way above average and I must have others see that...
Getting there will make me happy (i.e., I won't be happy until I get there!)
Making mistakes is really bad
I'm just not good enough yet, but I'll get there.
The excuses, reasons, justifications syndrome:
Not smart enough (variation, not educated enough)
It's too hard
I was programmed so badly that...
(Note for those who want to stop "doing unhappiness": None of the above are untrue. In fact, virtually anything that has you feeling unhappy is from an untrue belief!)
WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE?
Assuming that you had only one choice that you were given:
To be happy
To be perfect
To be the best, quite accomplished
To get admiration from others
The choice is yours. If you become knowledgeable and intelligent about happiness, you'll learn that the "other" three do not lead you to the most important objective - though people erroneously think it will!
WE ARE PRETTY GOOD AT THIS
Some people have already mastered this or at least become pretty good at it. Others create it when they don't want to.
But it is a choice one can make.
Or, more accurately, one can make the choices to do or not do that which creates unhappiness.
Now, I would suspect that almost all of you would rather not create unhappiness.
So you can use this as a vehicle to get really clear about what creates unhappiness, so you can stop doing that, and, hopefully also, start doing the opposite - until you get to a high level of mastery of creating happiness.
THERE IS A PAYOFF, ALWAYS - BUT IS IT THE RIGHT ONE?
Of course, you do these things because you think it gets you something - no person would do it if it were not for that. More accurately, you do it because we "believe" that it will get you something.
Growing up involves learning to discern which beliefs work for you and which don't.
If you do learning piecemeal, at random, or just by living life, you get a small amount of wisdom but retain so many harmful beliefs that life is OK but not great.
If you do the learning on purpose and in an accelerated, more intelligent manner, you become wise. (I would suggest that virtually nobody becomes wise by accident or by random observation just livin' life. It just don't happen that way! [See Learning And Thinking, Acquiring Wisdom.]
THE MOTIVATION-BY-PAIN BELIEF
A main source of suffering is our traditional negative motivating system, where we punish and whip ourselves to get things done. Of course, you might not think in those exact terms, but you might check this out to see if it is true: Do you feel that you won't get enough done just by choosing what you want to do? Do you experience
HOW TO LIVE IN HELL
Keep constantly trying to find the answer to "am I good enough?", operating throughout life with this in the background.
Ask (mentally in one's imagination) "is this good enough comparatively?" Will people approve, will my home look good enough and be better than most, will I look cool enough, smart enough, etc.
Try to be "enough", get "enough", do "enough", without realizing you are like a donkey with an unreachable carrot suspended from a stick on a string.
IT IS YOUR CHOICE
It is your choice on whether to live in hell, somewhere in between, or in heaven. You must first learn what it takes and then stop doing the "live in hell" activities and conversations and start doing the "create a future" and "living in heaven" activities and conversations.