LEARN THIS AREA AND YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE DRAMATICALLY FOR THE BETTER!
PAGE CONTENTS: For Context, read the Happiness Modules
THE OVERVIEW - What not to do, what to do to be happy and grateful!
See section:
your plate...and to review until you've compiled your own
Contains pieces on:
Affirmations
How well off am I?
My strengths, achievements, memories
THE PROGRAM - Follow this implementation program to develop this skill and
declare what you are grateful for.
URGING YOU TO FULLY ENGAGE IN THIS
This is the essential key to happiness. I recommend that you spend a few hours exploring and learning this and that you then begin the "gratitude practices." This is very, very, very, very much worth your while as one of the biggest payoff things you can possibly do!!!!!!
The why:
"If what we don't have, or might not have, is what causes unhappiness, then realizing what we do have might be the greatest disappearer of unhappiness! (Duh!)"
A vital skill:
"GRATITUDE IS A VITAL SKILL, A FOCUS, A VIEWPOINT TO BE LEARNED AND HARVESTED FULLY. I urge you to practice this, even if you are not yet able to see the benefit. It works!
THE OVERVIEW
WE DON'T SEE ALL THE GOOD
We don't see all that there is in life, all of the blessings, as they tend to drift into the background, deposited into the "take it for granted" slot. What we think we have pales compared to what we see on television and in the movies and to what we think others have.
We underassess what we have and then we set an unrealistic standard for what we should have, creating the "unhappiness gap", which is the space between where we think we and where we should be.
However, indeed, we have so incredibly much to be grateful for and so incredibly little to worry about. (Worry is the opposite to gratitude, for it is about what is potentially missing, instead of about what is in existence.) Indeed, when we have our full perspective in looking at life, we would often be singing Gracias A La Vida.
Fortunately, in one sense, we evolved to have our minds look for what is wrong so that we can be protected against potential danger. It is always trying to protect us and to have us survive - that is good!
Unfortunately, the systems are antiquated and out of touch with current reality, as we will definitely survive, which means that we no longer need to focus on finding the negatives. But, still, we continue operating on "automatic" (which we need not do!). We become the victim of what are termed "automatic" thoughts, as if we didn't have a say in the matter. That's ridiculous. For we do have the ability (the intelligence) to see what is real danger and to distinguish what doesn't matter. We have the absolute ability to interrupt what is negative and to deem it as having no use.
Of course, the Affirmations section deals with a good part of this, so it pays to learn how to really understand what is true and how to affirm it. (Never use affirmations that are unrealistic!) Establishing a solid foundation for what is true and supportive is a vital function that you must take responsibility for fully implementing, as it makes no sense to leave a primitive mind in charge, repeatedly spewing out old, unrefined beliefs. Besides leaving no really stupid thought unchallenged, it is our responsibility to get rid of untrue, harmful beliefs and to replace them with what is true. See the Beliefs and Thoughts section.
One belief that makes no sense at all is the belief that there isn't enough and there should be more. It is, per the Buddha, the source of all suffering. The solution to end all suffering is to see that we have more than enough.
The way to remedy this is to
1. See what exists that is good,
2. Shift our attention to it and
3. Repeatedly look at it (or repeat it) enough to actually physically rewire our thinking (so that the new way of viewing becomes automatic!) [And to remind us, for happiness in the moment, perhaps using the Reminders Notebook.]
One of the fun but illuminating exercises is to fill a jar with a bead for each thing one is grateful for. Keep the jar in full sight in order to "remember". (Multicolored beads make the jar more of a decorative piece.)
It has been proven scientifically that the brain is plastic (pliable, capable of growing and being reprogrammed) and that it will adapt with new "neuronal pathways" in about six months of doing something different - and it'll let the unused parts elsewhere whither away! (See Managing The Mind, How The Brain Developed.)
In the studies on Happiness, the practice of writing down just 3-5 things you are grateful for, every day (see the more detailed instructions) proved to increase happiness on a lasting basis, as one becomes trained to see what is actually there in existence instead of just what is missing.
We have an incredible number of gifts, such as our thousands of automatic body and lower mind functions - plus the most incredible computer ever created, by far. Yet, somehow, many people are so focused on what we don't have (taking what we do have for granted) and what we "lose" (despite still having thousands of good things left!) - and they are experiencing unnecessary stress and anxiety, with the corresponding effects on the body and its immune system and our very happiness.
(Stress and anxiety result from wanting things to be other than they are, which is the source of Suffering and Struggle.)
One of the practices that I suggest you add is to keep a Reminders book, in which you keep things that will offer you the chance to review what you are grateful for, what works in life, what empowers you, what inspires you, what has you know that life is good, etc. See the table of contents for that book to get an idea of the great contents. Looking at this every morning, as a regular practice, will, I guarantee, make a huge positive difference in your life! See The Grounding, Reminders, Inspiration Section.
This is a great life, full of opportunities and things we can never ever lose - and we can make the most of it, and appreciate it as we go. We can actually have a secure base in life from which to operate freely without threat - and we can live lives far beyond what we are living now!
Become an expert on this!!!
Enjoy!!!
And, hey, listen up! Read the recommended books and articles! Become very, very, very knowledgeable and good at this! This is a skill to become an expert in!
Read WHAT TO BE GRATEFUL FOR, Examples, and become thoroughly cognizant of the abundance of what we have. This is vital in your life.
(See The Resources On Gratitude, below, and read them over time, though I'd recommend picking up right away a book that profoundly affected me right away: The Gratitude Effect, by John DeMartini.)
THE PROGRAM - Spend an hour a day the first week and you'll have, by the end of the week, your gratitude lists set up and usable for reminders. Then do the same for the rest of the month until you are an expert in this. It's your life and this is essential for a happy life - so please do it!
Read the general pieces below.
Determine how well off you really are (see below).
Review what you have to be grateful for - build a wealth of "what you have".
Review the list of items to be grateful for, below, and select at least 30 for your
Reminders Notebook. Print any pieces below that would be good for reference.
Do the gratitude practice (3-5 things a day you notice and are grateful for)
Review the gratitude items daily for a few months, then regularly, keeping the items
preferably in the morning.
Also, over time:
And while you are doing the above, and soon, read the key books on gratitude.
When you've done them, email me and let me know the impact it had on your life!
Not directly related, but tremendously beneficial is doing the visions and dreams you have for your life. (Put them into your Reminders Notebook.)
Once finished with that then the Happiness section is a good one to go to and implement.
- This "viewpoint" and "seeing" will definitely add to your life. Even Einstein
acknowledged the power of this. - Judy Andersen
A simple, but profound lesson that I shall hold forever in my way of being.
HOW WELL OFF AM I? - PERSPECTIVE (TO CORRECT THE MISPERSPECTIVES!)
actually enough? Are you there? If not, what path will you take? Choose.
The idea of what I have as compared to the idea of "loss:
get rid of the fear of loss.)
AFFIRMATIONS - REAFFIRMING WHAT IS THERE AND IS TRUE, SO ONE IS CLEARER
from. Make your own list to review via a schedule to do so (initially daily, then weekly,
then continue weekly or do monthly).
Notebook, so that I can be recentered into how fortunate I am and to be returned
to a state of gratitude and awe.
REGRETS - NOT HAVING -
system. Get these into your Reminders Notebook asap!
See Resources, below, for outside sources.
WHERE TO HOLD THESE FOR REFERENCE:
Flexible:
Keep most in this, even if they might fit also in the others:
used daily.
Personal items that just apply to you, such as, from above, Strengths, Achievements,
Memories. It is good to keep them in the Reminders Notebook, as they are great to recall
and get perspective on life.
Part of planning involves looking at the past (successes) and strengths, in order to be able to
see the talents and traits to be used in the future. I would definitely keep those lists in
this notebook, but also in the Reminders Notebook.
LifePlan Notebook - A notebook used in developing one's plan for one's life - so that it is
created proactively and at a higher level of thinking - rather than left to just happen, at a
much lower level.
RESOURCES ON GRATITUDE - Note that you should have one full bookshelf of books that you can pick up at any time that will lighten and cheer you up and give you a better perspective.
BOOKS
++ The Gratitude Effect - Dr. John Demartini - For some reason, after reading this book, I had
a new view about gratitude, about my life, my body, and circumstances in life. Important
reading.
+ Attitudes of Gratitude, How To Give And Receive Joy Every Day Of Your Life - M. J. Ryan - Another great book by M.J.
Count Your Blessings - Dr. John F. DeMartini - One of the sages.
Gratitude - Affirming The Good Things In Life - Melodie Beattie - From the wisdom of her
best selling books.
Gratitude, A Way Of Life - Louise L. Hay and friends - Pretty much a classic in the field.
14,000 Things To Be Happy About, Barbara Ann Kipfer
(Although the Chicken Soup type of books are not about gratitude, per se, it is good to read books with stories of people succeeding, sometimes over all odds, and those with "happy" stories. Although some people consider these corny, they can be quite inspirational and illuminating. The most famous series is The Chicken Soup For The Soul books.)
SOURCES OF THINGS TO BE GRATEFUL FOR
Keep writing more and more things in your gratitude journal and maybe even make a list in the computer.
Book to have around the house:
14,000 Things To Be Happy About, Barbara Ann Kipfer
Sites:
WEBSITES
Appreciating Life: Google that phrase and read to see what you like. Consider: Copy the best and put it in your Gratitude Reminders book.
Under review to see if these will be recommended, though they all look contributory.
Beliefnet.com , enter "gratitude" in search box. The site has a spiritual/religious bent but
those who are not into that will find plenty of useful information that is solely secular.
The Power Of Gratitude - Relates this to abundance, the law of attraction, resistance and unhappiness, and happiness.
SPECIFIC ITEMS TO WATCH, READ
The Words - Put this in your Reminders Notebook, under the Gratitude section.
