Manage stress well or be unhappy and unhealthy, with cardiac disease, diabetes, cancer, immunity problems...and suffer and die early...

Thoughts -->  Fight/Flight Response --> Stress chemicals --> Body damage, energy problems,
                                                                                             cardiac, diabetes, cancer, immune
                                                                                             system impairment

"Need I say more about the importance of stress management?"

Think about it...


Brain damage, shards of glass-like substances create scars in our blood vessels, excess weight, our bodies not being able to self-regulate well, immune system damage, losing our ability to learn and cognate as well, our ability to think declines, and our ability to experience pleasure at the higher level disappears - yet what is "out of sight" (out of awareness) is "out of mind" - so we do nothing about it. 


Think about it...


The goal:  During almost all days to have virtually no stess.


PERSPECTIVE/DISCUSSION -  Introduction - What is stress?  What is its actual source?  What is the actual process? How do I fix it? What should I learn in order to be a good manager?  Evaluating costs versus payoffs.  Learning as a high payoff use of time.  Follow "The Plan".  What point in the stress process to intervene?


STRESS PLAN - What It Is, What It Costs, And How To Virtually Eliminate It - Rate and score yourself.  Two basic causes, both very handleable!
       Rx For Stress


What Are Its Effects? - Surely living a stressed life is not worth the damage.
LEARNING PLAN - Use this program to learn so that you can better implement your stress plan and become an expert at stress management and peace of mind!




We vastly overtolerate stress - and its huge effect!
What is stress?
What is its actual source?
In short, what is the actual process?
How do I fix it?
What should I learn in order to be a good manager of it?
Evaluating costs versus payoffs
Learning as a high payoff use of time
Follow "the plan"
    At what point in the process do I start?
What now?
How does one manage his/her emotions?
Relevant readings

                                       -->  Handle threat
Believed   -->  Fear                         or
  threat          Response
                                       -->  Hold fear         --> Tension --> Damage
   ↑                   ↑                                                    ↑                 ↑
Intervene            Intervene                                                     Intervene          Repair

Best results are from intervening earlier in the chain/process. 

Stress can be managed to be minimal in life - excessive stress is totally unnecessary and unuseful.

You should not tolerate anything but minimal stress in your life, period!  (Live The 80/20 Life.)

If you keep on stressing, the quality of your life will be worsened plus your body will be highly damaged, further lowering the quality of your life.

You must make a decision on this - and then carry through to mastery if you want a very good life and to be happy!!!!

We'll guide you through how to do that.  But first, get the overview.


The human body and mind can't take much ongoing stress, but we ignorantly continue to think we can tolerate.  We can't!

We need to implement ways of cutting excess stress off immediately, not tolerating it to continue past the top of the curve into great damage.  (We need to implement the Stress Plan and the Rx For Stress .)

Brain damage, shards of glass-like substances create scars in our blood vessels, excess weight, our bodies not being able to self-regulate well, immune system damage, losing our ability to learn and cognate as well, our ability to think declines, and our ability to experience pleasure at the higher level disappears - yet what is "out of sight" (out of awareness) is "out of mind" - so we do nothing about it. 

Isn't knowing the effects above enough to get our attention?!!!?  Isn't that enough to merit our effort?!!!?

Isn't that enough to get us in action, right now?!!!?

We not only need to do something about it, but we need to do it right away, not  tolerating continuing stress for even more than a half a minute.  We must stabilize our bodies and minds back into a healthy, homeostatic (balanced) state, as it is priceless and incredibly urgent.

Yes, we need to become models of stress management and prevention

If not, it could cost you your life, the quality of your life, the good years.

Will you implement "the program"? 


Stress itself is a valid emotional and physical reaction to actual danger, as it prepares us to be able to respond appropriately. 

It is not useful when we create it otherwise or keep holding onto it for no benefit. 

Stress is defined in the dictionary as "force exerted upon a body, that tends to strain or deform its shape" (deforms the abilities of the body/mind over the long term). 


This section is about "managing stress", coping with it, lessening it at the moment and minimizing the triggers, but it is also about changing the long term, actual cause.

Be clear, although this is discussed in more depth later, that most stress is not related to actual danger and that we create most stress through faulty thinking/beliefs

Many people are confident that 'what they believe' is "right", but the litmus test for validity is the experience of stress.  If the effect (stress) is there, you can guarantee that the cause (faulty thinking/beliefs) is present.  It is scientifically undeniable.

Stress, in one sense, is the gap between what we can control and the results we strive for and/or the unreal dangers we seek to avoid.  Change any of these variables and you'll experience substantial differences.  Even just the perception that one cannot control something one wants to control can create huge chemical havoc.    Changing the beliefs about what one should even try to control makes a huge difference.  (See Control and learn it!)

Measure stress and you'll know the degree of misbelieving.

Take the Stress test offered on line, get a score, and also print the test out, as they list what actually causes stress.  This is from the wisdom and resources of L. S. Barksdale.


Something occurs --> belief adds meaning --> emotion created

A "bad" emotion = stress.


Before getting to the "how to's", it is useful to understand how your  machinery operates, as you'll then be better able to choose what to do and better able to implement what is needed.  [Most people tend to be dilettantes, fixing and reacting to things as they come up - and then repeating over and over unnecessary stress!]


To understand the whole process, it is good to at least brief yourself with the overview pieces included in the "Managing The Mind" section.  In a nutshell, the mind has evolved to overdo the "danger" signals, then we accept, or not, what Dumb and Dumber "say", then we interpret through beliefs, which in turn create emotions, which are chemically damaging to the body and which wire us to repeat negatives. Then we must use the realities of the brain/mind to create healthy beliefs and thinking, following the rules for what produces happiness.

Once you know how the mind works, reading the overview parts of the Emotion Management section

We can stop stress and/or we can deal with it effectively, so we need to be aware of all of the elements to include in managing stress.  We can choose to cure the cause of the stress so that it doesn't occur again, by changing one's belief system, or we can intervene earlier after the process has been triggered.  We discuss below, using a chart, on where we can intervene to lower or eliminate stress - you can choose what to do, or not.  

As part of the Learning Plan or separately right now, read:

Stress - What It Is, What It Costs, And How To Virtually Eliminate It.  Know the costs thoroughly and understand them deeply, for they are the motivators needed to get you to act.  (Also of interest is The Psychology Of Stress.) 

Although referred to elsewhere, you definitely should read the Meditation Page, which also includes instruction on relaxation.

Knowing how to not have most of the stress in the first place has been dealt with over and over by "wise men" who have thought about it and devised many things that work.  However, most people see many of these as impractical or too time consuming.  We deal with that here, by considering the value versus time-cost and then integrating it into life in a combination that works for a better life, a life with low "bad" stress and much more happiness that is enduring and substantial. 

You will also benefit from reading the key pieces in the Emotion Management section, as mind management, emotion management, and stress management are all tied together.

Since we are all likely to let some false beliefs create undue fears, we must then intervene at other points in the chain.  All good managers use either The Pause or, a longer version of The Pause, The Time-Out Tool.   


As with all possible actions in life, we must estimate the positive value of something and subtract the "cost" to see how much "net value" the action has for ourselves.  Then we compare that to what net value we can get for other actions, choosing what will give the biggest values per amount of time (time is the key cost).

The cost of the stress is:

1)  Physiological

    a)  Short term stressing of body with long term toxic chemicals
    b) Long term deterioration of the ability for the body to be balanced in its 
        reactions to physical occurrences (disease, etc.) in an effective way.
    c) Long term damage to the physical body itself, so we function poorly, have
        less energy, don't "feel" as good as we should, often dying early or having 
        more years of poor quality of life.

2)  Psychological

    a) The feeling of well-being is lost for the moment and our body/mind memory
        remembers it as a background "something is wrong" feeling.
    b)  The quality of life is lower as we are not experiencing what is good about
    c)   For most people, there is a "fog" of lower functioning, a kind of mild

3)  Productivity

    a)  We get less done and feel less good about what is done. 
    b)  We seek distraction, so we spend time trying not to be anxious, where we
         could have used our time in something of more value or pleasure.  Often
         leads to addictive behaviors and practices that steal our lives from us.


As with all things we want to have in our lives, we must first learn in order to understand how things work basically and then devise a plan for implementing what will work for the individual (we're all somewhat different, but more similar than we think). 

It is immensely worth your time to follow the Stress LearningPlan.   


Once you've learned a sufficient amount, then we develop a plan and a commitment to do what is in the plan.  The reading pieces will guide you toward that.  In building the plan, we must decide where to put our efforts, so we ask the following questions to determine the greatest "net value" for what we are going to do.

This is a vitally important choice in your life - as less stress will dramatically increase the quality of your life and will leave space for inserting great experiences you might not have had otherwise.

For the best results, at what point in the stress process do I start?

The question that will come up, especially in the "quick fix" viewpoint in the West, is where to start handling the problem of stress.  We could choose to  A. Not have the problem in the first place, B. To deal with the problem when it occurs, or C. Try to correct all the after effects from not doing A or B.  But, I would suggest, it is unwise (i.e. it doesn't work) to try to undo all the damage once you see what you've accumulated it. It is best to be "proactive" (do a wise action beforehand) rather than "reactive" (the after the fact actions are dictated by what has happened). 

      A.  THE SOURCE                   B.  THE REACTION              C.   THE AFTER EFFECTS

  Not have the problem at all           Fix the problem soon           Not fix quickly, suffer the long term
                                                                                             effects and try to repair the damage

      VERY EFFECTIVE               PRETTY EFFECTIVE, but                 SOME EFFECT

Comments, effects:

Takes time.                                 Takes more time than              Can't unravel many of the effects.
But improves current                    not having the problem            Addictive habits hard to fix.
  feelings and moods,                    in the first place.                    Physical damage irreversible.
  saving time and providing
  greater quality of life


  Clear, stress-free philosophy,       Breathing (deep)                     Addiction rehabilitation
     with "affirmations" and             Relaxation (tension               Medical intervention
     "coping statements"                    reduction)
  Thought defusing and                   Coping statements,
     straightening                               "mantras"
  Behavior change
  Exercise                                    Exercise                                Exercise 
  Diet                                           Diet                                     Diet


Review the highlighted items in Emotion Management and then do the learning plan until you are sufficiently knowledgeable to move forward.

Then do "The Plan" for yourself, of what you want and what you'll do, using the Planning section to choose a format.

Measure your progress on the Graph for Self-Esteem and Stress


Using these techniques, which have been proven over and over to work, will help you live a more stable, more powerful life where the emotions no longer rule - and you get to choose the better emotions!  Managing one's emotions well can enhance one's motivation and one's thinking so that one is actually and feels very powerful and effective.  Go to Emotion Management section to see what you might wish to read and/or do. 

An interest test to take:   "Emotional Maturity" test, as managing stress is a part of "maturing."

Supplementary to stress management are the sections on Anxiety/Fear Management and Mood Management, so I included a copy of excerpts from those sections, though you can click on these links to go to that section.


          to read
     READINGS ON STRESS -See especially the learning plan.
     ANXIETY/FEAR KEY EXCERPTS - This is the source of all stress, so it is
          useful to understand the inner workings.  Just two basic pieces to read are
          mentioned here.
     MOOD MANAGEMENT EXCERPTS - Stress is often the result of a mood
          and it also can cause a mood. 


      See also the other sections of emotion management, recommended books. 
      See Psychological, Methods, Meditation/Relaxation.

                    Wasting your body and life with stress is a real pity. 

                    Stress - What It Is, What It Costs, And How To Virtually Eliminate It - Read this first,
                        then see the learning plan. 
                             Optional good read on another site:  "The Psychology Of Stress".
                    Stress LearningPlan - Put it all together to manage stress and your life. 
                    Stress Test: - Take this test and you'll see some of the
                       solutions in the testing.
(F)                Daily Pre-Flight and Pre-Hangar Checklist - A small checklist, like a pilot's, on what
                      you need to commit to every day and the level of rest and relaxation needed to have
                      less anxiety and/or stress.

                     For details, go to the Barksdale Main Page on this site:
                                      For no charge access the Barksdale  Stress Control Book.   Their insights
                                      on stress and how to handle it are invaluable and very effective.  This is a 
                                      very top recommended resource. (I have now purchased the copyrights.)
                     Book:      Picture Perfect Prescription, Dr. Howard Shapiro.  One part of 4 covers
                                      stress over an 11 day daily program, plus 11 day programs for exercise,
                                      nutrition, and "connections" to people and community.  Excellent way to
                                      learn and cover all areas and to get in gear in each.
                     Links for meditations: - Some great meditations on line for free.
                     Links for meditation music: - Great while
                         you're on the computer.

These excerpts from the following  sections are included here as they are integrally connected. 
Stress is created by a need to react to supposed threats, with undue fear causing lots of undue stress.

ANXIETY/FEAR - Go to this section, clicking on the read underlined link to the left.

              READ FIRST:  

                   THREATS AND FEAR - Just reading this can assist you in getting rid of fears, but
                       also it is a good idea to use the "Fears List" process below.  
                       body reacts from our pre-conscious emotions and what we cannot do (that we
                       believe we can do) and what we actually can do, simply and very doably.


MOOD MANAGEMENT - Whether "down", "depressed" or "upset", how to be "up" 

       Some of the items in that section:

                   Moods - Managing Them (Especially the "morning mood") 
                   Overwhelm - The Formula For Handling It  
                   Up From Down - Creating It   
                   See Psychological Tests and Monitoring page.
                   See Personal Plan For Recovery - This is a good structure to install a foundation to
                        avoid any consistent downness.  Designed by specialists and available on the
                        website of the book entitled Getting Your Life Back and double click on
                        Worksheets and then Personal Plan.


Stress is a normal physical response to events that make you feel threatened or upset your balance in some way. When you sense danger – whether it’s real or imagined – the body's defenses kick into high gear in a rapid, automatic process known as the “fight-or-flight” reaction, or the stress response.

The stress response is the body’s way of protecting you. When working properly, it helps you stay focused, energetic, and alert. In emergency situations, stress can save your life – giving you extra strength to defend yourself, for example, or spurring you to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident.

The stress response also helps you rise to meet challenges. Stress is what keeps you on your toes during a presentation at work, sharpens your concentration when you’re attempting the game-winning free throw, or drives you to study for an exam when you'd rather be watching TV.

But beyond a certain point, stress stops being helpful and starts causing major damage to your health, your mood, your productivity, your relationships, and your quality of life.


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Stress Mgmt - Contents/Links - Read more, complete this area for yourself.

Stress Management Learning/Implementation Program - Finish stress off, don't let it persist.  The standard should be virtually no stress all day!!!! 

Stress test - It'll score for you.

Effects Of Stress 
   Chemicals In The Body
        Managing Cortisol - Take
          the test of how well you
          are doing
The Stressors Of Your Body -
   Know This Or Suffer And Die
   Early!!! - Graphically true!

Rx For Stress
   Effective Coping Strategies For       Relieving Stress
Learning Plan
Graph Of Your Progress   
Living The 80/Life - Creating more time to have more leeway to reduce pressures in life.

Creating More Energy And Power In Life 

Energy/Rest Contents/Links