POWER IN LIFE
TRULY GETTING WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE

CONTENTS     To find materials on power use search engine on major pages.

What It Is And Isn't
Building The Powerful Person 
The Most Important Component 
Getting into The Position Of Power
Characteristics Of Being Powerful - Read about Control, Acceptance, Fearlessness, Languaging,
Creating Mental Powerfulness And Getting Rid Of The Obstacles
Tools Creating Power (Effectiveness) - 80/20, Perspective, Timer Tool....
           Becoming a "Force Of Nature"
Related Affirmations and Statements

To be added:
Related to outside circumstances and people
Related to self esteem and confidence (and vice versa)
Becoming more powerful

Further depth and articles
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"The most critical starting piece for having power in life is in making 'The One Decision.'"

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WHAT POWER IS AND ISN'T

Power = The ability or capacity to perform or act effectively, e.g. move a pencil.  It is your taking an intention and having it come about. 

Some people think power is force, but it is not, unless the force adds effectiveness, which most often it does not.  Most often force is a last resort when one is trying to get something to happen but doesn't feel powerful enough, but ironically it doesn't seem to create the result wanted, and most often creates damage.  (See Anger.)

Some people think "power" has to be something extraordinary, such as in a "powerful" man or a guru, but, no, power is simply power, not some exaggerated or rare instance of it (which is usually a childish perception of what constitutes power, as a child feels so powerless).

It is not about "doing the impossible" or something magnificent.  It is simply intending something and then creating it happening.  "I want to clean up the kitchen, so I will do it" and then you do it so it is clean.  That's power.  The "should" that society adds to this is a "magical" level of power beyond what humans are capable of, but it is not necessary to do that since the ability we already have is more than sufficient to create a good life.  Creating a good life is what it is about.

One always has more than enough power.  All that is needed is for one to simply choose to use it or not. 

A person who considers him/herself not to be powerful is simply not choosing to use his/her power for some limiting reason - such reasons can be looked at, seen for what they really are, and then "rewritten" to allow power.  That's what a good portion of this site is about, such as in the sections on Fearlessness or Internal Conversations (and more).  

The viewpoint of  I am powerless  (in any way) is one based on an unsound and untrue philosophy and belief system.  Read that section and be sure you are "complete" on knowing that you are not powerless and that you are powerful (enough to do what is realistically needed to make life work well, without having to be a hero of magical proportions).


BUILDING THE POWERFUL PERSON

For you to become a powerful person, you first need to know what that looks like.  (Duh!)  One needs very high clarity here, as this is one of the most important components of making a good life. 

But I want to be absolutely clear that this is not about building some ideal person that you don't have a chance of achieving.  Instead, it is about choosing to fully depend on yourself - that's the only thing you really need to know, and the rest are just enhancements.  There are certain core practices and models of how to be powerful (the realistic kind, that is) that support your attitude and feeling of power.

Read The Powerful Person.  It includes what the person says, does, practices; how he/she behaves, emotional set, physicalness, and key principles.  This helps you know better "what one looks like".  Read also "As A Powerful Person, I..."

The process of getting to being powerful is laid out in The Only Way To Build The Powerful, Effective Human Being .  This is essentially what we will do, for those who want to actually build your life house and who you want to be.  It is the only way to create happiness at the highest level.  It's not a miracle, or a "magical" quick cure, it is just what is required to pave the roadway - and to have a great ride
(journey) - both on the way to it and after you've reached that level.


THE MOST IMPORTANT COMPONENT

I will insert this in here for now, until I rework this section:

I believe that the most important ability for you to learn and practice in life is what I call "calm coherence".   It is the condition that is the equivalent of the "ability to see and think clearly".

Read Calm Coherence - and decide to follow that road, if you want true power and to get rid of "faux power".


GETTING INTO THE "POSITION OF POWER"

Living a life where one is up and down, feeling good about oneself when things go well and feeling badly when they don't.  Losing our perspective.  Procrastinating.  That is the stuff lack of power is made of.  Therefore, it would make sense that the opposite would related to being in Power.

You can assure that you are in power always if you get into the Position Of Power. You actually already "know" what this position or way of being looks like.  If I asked you to sit as if you were a powerful person, to have a facial expression or energy in your eyes like a powerful person, breath like a powerful person, etc., you could come up with a pretty good replica - and in so doing you would actually feel and be more powerful.  Physiology actually makes a difference, but note also that you are adding some things that are beyond the physical and a bit in the intangible, such as intensity in the eyes (a feeling) or "being" powerful, almost like going into becoming a persona who is powerful.  The contrast between powerful and powerless comes out clearly when one compares The Rational, Nurturing Adult Persona to the Child Persona.  (The key gateway to creating a good life is to decide once and for all time to give up the child persona.)

The strongest point of power is in two practices:

I.  Keeping your perspective. When you "rise above" it all and look down and see the "whole city", you achieve two major effectiveness objectives. 

First, it is valuable to be able to see all the pieces of your life (or week or day), so that you can determine what is most important to do.  If you make sure you do what is most important, you achieve more value, you become more confident, and anxiety drop dramatically.  One of the greatest extensions of this is to use the 80/20 principle and to live the 80/20 way.

Second, when you rise above it all, you achieve a certain "objectivity" about your life, so you can make more rational choices.  When one is "down in it" and subject to emotions and beliefs that are harmful, one does not make good decisions.

To keep this perspective you would do planning every day, you would have longer term plans, and you would gain an overview [perspective] on life. [gratitude, knowing about life]

II.  Staying "on top of things" (part of which is staying organized). Procrastinating lowers your self esteem.  A person who is in anxiety will put off things because he/she is anxious about something else and/or needs relief - but this leads to more anxiety and lower self regard, in a spiraling downward.  Setting aside time to get organized again is one of the key things to do as soon as one realizes one is feeling down.  This actually signals the primitive brains that everything is ok and that you're in charge so that they need not send out all those chemicals trying to make you safe.  If you do this "getting on top of things" often enough, it begins to rewire the brain for safety - and, of course, anxiety drops dramatically.

Neither is difficult, but both are extremely empowering and energizing, and they also free up enormous amounts of energy (i.e. they stop the "nervous", frantic energy most people waste their lives with).

The blocks

Of course, there are the blocks to exercising your power, which are 99% only based on your false beliefs that you somehow bought into or created.   Changing those is paramount, and for almost everyone, is the top priority in terms of effectiveness.  (This is deal with in the Beliefs and Thoughts section

Switching one's "come from" (This may sound silly, but it is, in fact, highly powerful.)

Where you "come from" is a "viewpoint", actually the equivalent of a "viewing point", similar to a view from a particular physical position.  The "come from" in the position of a policeman is different than the "come from" (or viewpoint or personal stance) of someone being stopped for a traffic violation. 

The relevant "come froms" here are from the personas (roles, ways of being) of "victim" vs. rational, nurturing adult. 

If one is "coming from" Victim, then one will be 'helpless, powerless, dependent, needing love and approval, never good enough, stupid," etc. - you already know enough about what this looks like that you could create the role-play pretty easily.  But, obviously, Victim is not the role we want to play, as there is no power or satisfaction there, though Victims do have some (ill-conceived) payoffs that keep them playing the game.  It is only when they realize the costs are much greater than any benefits that life changes dramatically upward.  One cannot hold onto the idea of being a child and the beliefs of a child if one wants to have power and a good life - it's impossible to be in weakness and power at the same time.

You can actually role-play the persona that you "should" be (and will be, if you finish the learning and implementation work on this site):  the rational, nurturing adult.  Just in the title you can see that you already have a good idea of what this looks like and how to play the role.  Use reasoning.  Nurture yourself and others.

See The Rational,  Nurturing Adult section, and read the items related to "victim" that  you are referred to.  Know both sides thoroughly, as it will make it much clearer how to play or avoid the parts of the roles/personas you want or don't want to play.  (Other personas are also relevant, so see the Personas and Personality Types section.)


THE CHARACTERISTICS OF BEING POWERFUL

Where you are now -->                                --> Being powerful
                                       The gap

By seeing where you are headed, you can proceed to set up a plan and follow a path to close the gap. 

These are some of the items that are characteristics of the person who chooses to be powerful.  By the time I looked at this in more depth, I came up with more, so I placed them, with links, in the directory on the upper right of this page.

The way to use this is to prioritize reading about those characteristics or practices that you think would be most important for you.  It would also be good to read about the others.  Obviously, you can look at the directory and then just use it as a checklist and a plan for your reading every night until you are "knowledgeable" and until you have a perspective and a certain wisdom about it. 

The very top one is Responsibility (vs. Victimhood). 

Acceptance Of Reality And Of Life - Understand the alternatives.  Get rid of
   resistance. This is a step on the way to becoming fearless.
Approval, No Need For
Certainty
Clarity
Control - Its Proper Use - Learn this and save alot of effort plus getting alot better
   results.
Fearlessness - Do this and you'll be virtually fearless.
Integrity - The integrity factor is to power as a structural integrity is to a building.
Languaging - Honoring The Power Of Languaging - This could be the most
   powerful tool of all.
Philosophy Of Life That Is Very Strong and Clear 
Physiology Of Power - Recreate what the physiology is of a person who feels
   his/her power and you'll create extra power.  Definitely avoid the opposite, as it
   sets you up to be unpowerful.
Responsibility Vs. Victimhood - Increases power tremendously as one sheds any
   vestiges of victimhood.   See also, under Psychology, Managing The Mind, Beliefs/Thoughts, Victimhood.
   

CREATING MENTAL POWERFULNESS AND GETTING RID OF THE OBSTACLES

Affirmations
Positive inputs (affect beliefs, allow more "seeing" of how things are done and/or
   are possible)
Positive learnings
Reworking beliefs
Never speaking in negatives
Instantly challenging and rephrasing any negative


THE TOOLS CREATING POWER (EFFECTIVENESS)

80-20 Principle - Use this and you'll be 400% more effective in life, plus have lots
   of leisure. (This takes you to a sister site.)
Perspective - The great power position.
The "Timer Tool" - Use a timer to fit in small things, calm oneself, free self from anxiety, etc. - all things that can be done in a minute or two or five or ten - just set the timer, and knock off a bunch of things you would never have ever accomplished or felt good about otherwise!

Becoming A "Force Of Nature"

See what comprises becoming, metaphorically, a "Force Of Nature" in your life, with clarity of purpose, conviction, passion, daring action, and persistence, not from the point of view of efforting but from organizing and building a set of beliefs and principles that has you willing to experience life at a higher level.  Free from The Option Institute:  "Force Of Nature" Webinar.


FURTHER DEPTH AND ARTICLES



RELATED AFFIRMATIONS/STATEMENTS

"I am in my power, totally responsible for myself and my state of resourcefulness.  I create what I want by using all that we are given in systems that we can use in this physical world.  I create happiness no matter what the circumstances.  I am truly the master of my life, the creator, the source of it all."