To be developed, tba
What habits are
To remove and replace a habit
A special form of practice - In your head!
The supposed, illusory struggle
Habits and success/confidence
How the brain works
What habits to change
Forms to use
Anyone can learn (or unlearn) habits simply by repetition (which is how all habits are made) and anyone can follow the procedure to do so. Anyone!
Habits are engrained routines which System One automatically runs upon cue. (System One is the lower brain.) Forming the habits you want, which is simple, will make life easy and effortless - and eliminate much of your suffering from fighting System One instead of working with how it works. If you decide what you want to "delegate" to the System One workers, then you won't have to redecide what to do (redeciding takes effort and drains your reserves) or struggle - and your psych energy will stay high.
This is the core that runs your life.
Focus on this as a top priority/importance activity and your life will change beyond what you now think is possible. Change your habits and you can dramatically change your life!
"This is all very, very doable, if you simply follow the rules of what works in harnessing this area. Remember that this is a strictly mechanical process (and not attributable to mysterious forces!)"
HOW TO PROCEED FROM HERE
Before going to the discussion, below:
You must, first, be in touch with reality and the fact that the mind/body is strictly (bio)mechanical - with no mysterious entities governing anything! Read Summary.
Simply scan the diagram overview for general understanding. In the discussion, we'll come back to the pieces of it.
THE "DIAGRAMS" OVERVIEW (Scan, then see the discussion below these.)
The Substance Of It
1. 2. 3.
Cue --> Response --> Reward (short term)
(Brain pattern triggered, At least "relief"
causing a routine, behavior...)
--> Other Consequences
(If repeated = "conditioned")
To eliminate an undesirable habit:
Cue --> Replace the response --> Same net short
(See it, write it down, (Plan it) (but healthily)
connect it to new response)
At first, it won't feel natural
but, you must do at least little pieces doing the only thing that is necessary:
--> PRACTICE, REPEAT (Keep on doing until it [or little pieces of it] feels right and is a habit.)
--> then it beomes AUTOMATIC AND EFFORTLESS
To experience the power of it!!!!!!!
1. You decide it is worthwhile, worth the price, and then
2. You practice, practice, practice
3. Keep on until it is installed
"Wimphood" is not a valid judgment - it is simply succumbing to meaningless, harmless thoughts/discomforts that don't deserve to be given heed.
But first ground yourself in how things work and how to work them, starting with the following discussion - without deeper understanding, you're doomed to repeat failed attempts - needlessly! And then proceed to do this, quoted from Mark Nepo: "give up with reverence and compassion what no longer works in order to stay close to what is sacred." ["Sacred" is that which is highly important in life, that which is of the highest value to you.]
WHAT HABITS ARE
Habits are simply repeated patterns of doing something that become automatic. If you study this a little more deeply, you'll discover that a habit is just a mechanical record in the brain that the brain matches up with the reminder (or "cue") and then simply does the action automatically (often including an emotion in the program).
So, we simply need to do, in little steps probably, 'repeated doing' of the new actions that we want to install to replace the undesired habits. After we do them enough, they become automatic, just like the dysfunctional ones did. They also become easy, as there is no thought and effort required to do them - that is the nature of a habit: automatic, easy, self propelling. Indeed, habits make life easier (as we no longer have to use up our higher brain to decide to do them) and seemingly effortless - we just want to develop the ones that serve a better purpose, instead of the "default" ones that were formed without aforethought.
Building good habits is what successful people do. After they build each one, they are automatic, and all the habits begin to pile up so that there is a huge ongoing good effect. Part of what they do are the proven Practices For Success, which they turn into habits.
Our lack of knowledge, our incorrect beliefs, and our actions around behaviors are remarkably ignorant and energy wasting. Indeed, we try to fight the mechanics of it all, a battle not unlike fighting gravity.
Let's use the principles and laws to our advantage!!!!!!
TO REMOVE AND REPLACE A HABIT
Have a "why"
To remove a habit, we must first, obviously, identify the "why" of the habit, as in the Form To Change Habits. There must be a sufficient "why" AND there must be a very clear replacement decided upon, otherwise the old habit will persist. The brain needs a way to solve whatever comes up and it will use what is most available.
In replacing the old habit with a new habit we are simply doing the desired behavior over and over until it becomes natural and automatic (and probably easy, although not at first). Whether it takes 21 days or not to form a habit is not actually known, but it is a useful idea which will prompt us to look and see if we need to do more work to form the new habit.
Use "the process", the system
As with all changes, we use "the process", which will often include a coach of some sort, a program to follow, a commitment, and a means of getting back on the bandwagon when one falls off. Part of the process is building in structure and feedback, using something like the form "Physical Habits Tracking/Rating".
To do this, you should read the pieces under Behaviors, so you understand what is going on and how things work at a deeper level .
A SPECIAL FORM OF PRACTICE - IN YOUR HEAD!
Since your brain doesn't know the difference between a real experience and an imaginary one, you can give your brain experience by creating imaginary "visualizations", where you create all the details, including the thoughts, pictures, and feelings that would be involved in a favorable experience that you would like to create.
In life, we may lack a sufficient number of opportunities to practice something in order to get it down right, often by correcting ourselves as situations happen. But the truth is that your brain has probably observed more than you realize - and that information can be brought up and utilized in creating imaginary situations, such that you can "self-correct" to a very high degree - at least enough to get pretty good at things.
If you truly want to develop a new habit, you will utilize the visualization process at least twice a day. See, in the Planning section, Visualization.
This one skill if you develop it and use it will totally alter your life and raise it to a whole new level beyond what would be otherwise possible or even beyond what you would have imagined (so to speak!).
THE SUPPOSED, ILLUSORY STRUGGLE
We try to "overcome" bad habits. We create "ain't it awful" viewpoints about habits. We make believe, falsely, that bad habits rule us, as we reinforce that with continued failures.
Diets that fail, attempts to use willpower to overcome a habit (mostly a losing game, unless coupled with other helpful strategies), attempts to get exercising, etc. and etc. - the front yard of our lives is strewn with piles of failed efforts, like old rusty cars filling the yard.
The struggle is unnecessary. It is not a fight. It is a gradual replacement, a simple step at a time, using the right principles.
THERE IS ALWAYS A SIMPLE, EASY WAY TO SUCCESS
Habits are simply mechanical structures that are formed through repetion and triggered automatically. To "change" them is actually a process of replacing them, usually in small steps that aren't difficult, but are repeated and repeated to form a new "cable", as the old "cable" begins to deteriorate from non-use.
We simply need a step by step plan where we insert the steps into our calendar and do them, coupled with a feedback system that allows us to "upgrade" what we are doing.
HABITS AND SUCCESS/CONFIDENCE
"Forcing a belief but having doubt due to lack of confidence in one’s own habits and follow-thru present an inhibiting factor and lower energy toward it.
Part of the bridge that must be built is based on habits that serve as “girders” in the bridge, so that you know it will hold up: a confidence in one’s self doing what is needed."
Continuing on to another part of that document, in a end note under "believe":
"Many people do not apply this effectively. This step can get into the “mystical” and “magical” wishful thinking/hoping area that implies it will happen without all the necessary steps – essentially the old childhood way of thinking, the victim mentality (things happen to me versus responsibility mentality of “I will do what it takes to make this happen”). “If I only have faith, it will be attracted to me…”
However, faith implies a “knowing” that something will likely happen. And if a person does not have confidence that he/she will have the discipline and responsibility to do whatever is needed, then the person is trying to push a lie through to get confidence. Going back and repairing habits and substituting new ones is what is needed to have faith in one’s ability, one’s efficacy. You can tell when a lack of confidence in one’s ability to pull through exists – there are excuses, reasons, justifications, things that get in the way, and lack of results. Most people with average intelligence and good habits can achieve whatever is realistically wanted. The “habit”, faith, confidence building is addressed and well-developed in www.toolstolife.com (see the Evaluation) ."
HOW THE BRAIN WORKS
Note that neurons bonded together create “mental habits”. When you read The Structure Of The Brain, you'll see how that works to provide us with habit patterns that give us instand and same responses to the same stimuli, and how we can form new neuronal pathways to form new mental habits. Read also Rewiring The Brain. Toward the goal os changing your habits, read also How You And Your Brain/Body Operate, a mini-booklet to get you to a good level of understanding essential as a basis for changing one's habits. Whenever you do something new, your brain knows it and gives special attention to it, as, in its primitive thinking, it could be something dangerous to watch out for. And the new practice/habit-to-be will not "feel right" for awhile because it doesn't follow the natural path - the danger here lies in the age old mistake ineffective humans make: to assume that the emotion/thought has "power" over them and that they cannot go against the thought. However, it is just a discomfort of "not feeling right", which just means it is "not usual" and takes some getting used to. It is essential that you understand Cognitive Dissonance, so I recommend you read this piece until you fully understand and accept it.
WHAT HABITS TO CHANGE
Some ideas for getting rid of bad habits can be derived from using the search engine to identify the documents via keyword "habits". Habits you'll want to add can also be identified from the Success section and the success books recommended, especially The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey.
Fear, worry, negative thinking, etc., are merely habits, practices originally for a purpose (everything we do is for a reason, no matter how irrational). When one sees that the purpose is not served that way, one begins the "re-do" and "re-forming" process that will serve to transform one's life and happiness.
FORMS TO USE
The Process And Form For Changing A Habit To A New One -
Monitoring Form: Month - Daily Monitoring Sheet - To see how you are doing. "Something looked at tends to get done." In business: Inspect what you expect...