tba
CONTENTS
The ultimately confident person says...
The definition
The spectrum of mastery of life
The two components of ultimate confidence
The greatest gift to ourselves
How hard is it to achieve?
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THE ULTIMATELY CONFIDENT PERSON SAYS:
"I firmly believe that I can trust and rely on my own abilities and my own power to, within realism, create what I want in life."
This is held within the context of human nature and realistic expectations (not compromises), so that it is magnificently attainable by all humans.
THE DEFINITION
Definition: Firm belief, trust, reliance, assurance, belief in one' s own abilities, reliance on one's own power.
THE SPECTRUM OF MASTERY OF LIFE
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No Mastery Low mastery Some mastery Level 2 Level 3 Mastery
Low results Actively producing results
Not highly reliable Ultimate confidence rely on self
Need others' approval Self approval
Dependent on others Super self-dependence
No wisdom foundation Wisdom
Operate in "shoulds" Acceptance of reality
Minimal life knowledge Maximal life knowledge
Minimal learning Maximal learning
Reactive to feelings Thinking with higher brain
Seeking relief Creating what is desired
Blame, make-wrong No-blame, compassion
Uncertainty, doubt, non-definiteness, unclear Certainty, definedness, clarity
Rate each of the line items on a scale of 1to 10 and then add up the score. (Read further by entering the relevant words into the search engine.)
33 or less = Need dramatically more education and direction, asap!
33 - 55 = Struggling way too much with life, still a bit apathetic
56-70 = Low mastery: The beginning levels of having a better life
71-85 = Some mastery: Beginning to master life, some wisdom, need for more
86-99 = Level 2- 3: Making good tradeoffs between long term and short term, need to fill in what is missing, relatively happy
100 - 110 = Mastery: Experiencing life fully, satisfied, free, fully in charge, powerful
THE TWO COMPONENTS OF ULTIMATE CONFIDENCE
1. Knowing I can and will respond, no matter what, by doing my best, creating the best I can from 'what's there' AND creating happiness regardless of the circumstances. Confidence is not based on outcomes per se. See Fearlessness.
This can only occur when one accepts that one has responsibility for everything that happens in life, knowing it is not about burden or fault but only reality. (Read 100% Responsibility.)
its nature and its limitations.
THE GREATEST GIFT TO OURSELVES
Ultimately, ultimate confidence is the greatest additional gift to your psyche, as it leads to several areas of happiness, most directly to a "good opinion of oneself". And what could be more valuable?????!!!!!!!! (Actually, what is of more value, first, is a viewpoint of safety and abundance: What IS There, For Sure, Vs. Losses.)
It also contributes to achieving a feeling of power and to actually creating more of what one wants in life.
Most of us spend most of our lives trying to gain validation and approval from others (often getting it confused with love). This wastes alot of energy and also violates the Law Of Control - trying to control that which we can't control is a poor producer of results and makes no sense! (And it erodes the "feeling" of confidence.)
Though many people desperately want to "be ok", to be validated, we blow it by doing those things that degrade our confidence and degrade our power in life - and accordingly lower our good opinion of ourselves. The degrading of our confidence and power is the ultimate cost - enhancing them is worth far more than the temporary payoff of indulgences, which is the "short term relief" of uncomfortabilities or desires.
HOW HARD IS IT TO ACHIEVE?
Note that we are not asking you to be "perfect" or achieve incredible greatness. We are simply asking you to use as many of the practices, actions, and principles as you can, in very "doable" chunks.
Ultimate confidence includes a bit of the wisdom involved in "acceptance of reality", as it is futile to compare oneself unfavorably to an unrealistic expectation - it is better to accept reality and move on, avoiding the damage to one's confidence that one will operate effectively within what is realistic in the real world. Note that no one is capable, unless demented, of having the confidence in achieving unachievable, unrealistic expectations.
One of the greatest sources of unhappiness is criticizing ourselves for the gap between where we are and where we believe we should be. If we have an unrealistic (and thus unachievable) "should be", then we are assured of failure.
Ultimate confidence is the opposite of victimhood (holding oneself as powerless and dependent for a period of time) as in the definition of confidence: Reliance on one's own power.
People who rely on their own power make sure to fill themselves up and do not rely on others filling them. They are independent because they are self-dependent and self-sufficient, not hoping for others to rescue them or love them or fulfill them...
Firm belief comes from evidence of "coming through" for oneself, of experiencing one's own integrity, in knowing one can rely on one's own power and decisions - Not to the degree of perfection or "always" but to do one's best, in general, a great deal of the time.
Self acceptance does not come from a bunch of affirmations or from denial - and it is hard to stay in it if one is "not in integrity" and "not doing one's best". Those "conditions" (of being below what is workable) are not something to criticize oneself about, but only signals that allow one to adjust his/her course, as in Living Life As A Life Champion. (To have ultimate confidence, one cannot believe anything other than in No Fault, No Blame. If you do, you must correct that!)
CONFIDENCE INCREASERS
Repeating some of the above:
Not engaging in any fault, criticism type of thinking or conversations
Not dissipating my confidence in producing results - Not trying to Control what I cannot control
Making sure I do these:
Setting a definite set of standards and values in life, and sticking to them.
Increasing my certainty base (to stand firmly on)
Not tolerating toxicity or drags in my life
Eliminating/minimizing toxic people
Not tolerating, and holding to no tolerance, what is a low or poor use of my time: TV, internet
Cultivating and adding supportive, progressive people into my life
