CONTENTS
Integrity: the vital overarching foundation for personal power/happiness
Integrity factor, the
The reasons why not to be in integrity - and the "scale"
Strengthening the integrity side
Lessening the illusory fear side
What it is not
Responsibility factor, the
Live your values, standard, rules, not someone else's
Impeccable with what you say
Authenticity factor, the
Taking stands, making commitments
Ethics (not morality)
Will you make the commitment?
__________________________________________________________
INTEGRITY IS THE VITAL OVERARCHING FOUNDATION FOR PERSONAL POWER AND FOR HAPPINESS
While we have many characteristics under Power In Life, they all fit under the overarching realm of integrity. One need only ask the question "Is this action 'in integrity' and one is at the same time including responsibility, character, compassion, etc. and etc., for they are all pieces of the whole - and integrity is about keeping the "whole" intact, in strength, so that there is a powerful platform upon which to run one's life!
THE INTEGRITY FACTOR
INTEGRITY = State of being whole, complete, or undiminished. Fully integrated and consistent.
Integrity is not a moral issue, it is a practical issue, as it is about effectiveness, about having things work in your world, for without it things don't work and you'll find your life doesn't work!
Integrity, in a sense, is simply being and acting consistently with who you have decided to be - and it is deciding to absolutely "be" it - not know about it, not use it to make oneself right/wrong or good/bad, not use it in your life, but actually to "be" the quality - not a quality within you, but actually you. If you are "being it," then you look outward with the viewpoint of integrity - you see the world through that lens.
Part of it is honoring your word out there in the world - AND, especially, your word to yourself! Being in integrity means you are "being your word." And it is not based on anyone else seeing it (to please others).
In order to act as a coordinated powerful whole, one needs to learn how all the parts work and how to operate them AND to decide what the intended results are for one's life and what one's values are, including who they want to be.
All those parts when acting consistently with who you are comprise integrity, AND they also are what comprise focused power.
Pretending or holding on to the idea that one is, though a grown up, still a child believing unexamined and untrue beliefs is way "out of integrity". To be in integrity, one must acknowledge and take on the mantle of being a Rational, Nurturing Adult.
(Note that this is not at all a moral judgment. It is simply about "what works.")
And it is not a 95% thing, excusing the other 5% in the illusion that you can be the equivalent of "a little bit pregnant." The excuses allow you to go down 5% more and then 5% more and so on - which will not work for a good life. Integrity is an "is" or an "is not". It is a 100% thing. (Yes, you may have to build the muscle to get there, but you'll do so with no excuses to get in the way, if you fully commit.)
THE REASONS WHY NOT TO BE "IN INTEGRITY"
When our inner world is that of fear, we have fear dominate. In that world, we use right/wrong and good/bad as moral judgments of others or ourselves. But in a world that is not about moral judgments, nothing else exists but the criterion of "what works and what doesn't work" (which is in the world of integrity).
In the fear world, we use excuses, justifications, reasons. In the integrity world, we don't morally (pejoratively) judge and we don't add a story about something - we just seek out what would work, with no blame, no make wrong, no "bad" label attached to it.
If one is "being integrity" as a chosen way of being (i.e. creating it as who you are), one just keeps going back to "facts, desired result(?), what do I need to do/be to have it work(?)". As mentioned elsewhere, one simply asks "what's so?", says "so what?", and answers "now what?", in rapid fire fashion, getting on with life and getting results without dilly dallying (see Good/Bad, Right/Wrong Vs. Workable).
In the other world, one takes shortcuts and has that be because it is "too hard" to put out the effort to go "the long way around." However, that excuse/reason buys a very small time savings but for a huge price. (And, believe it or not, it is more efficient and effective to "be in integrity" - i.e. you'll get more done - without taking the shortcuts to save time or effort.)
The most common "shortcut" is to getting short term "relief" from some current uncomfortability, at the expense of the long term. When you grow up from acting in this child way and go for the long term benefits, you will see your life take a giant leap upward.
"But I'm afraid" (or "it hurts" or "I'd lose the deal without the bribe") are all actually just "beliefs" that you think are real. And with those beliefs you actually create your emotional pain - needlessly!
Living in integrity has the highest payoff of all, but to do that one must diminish the imaginary other side of the scale that you think may be greater:
Integrity __________________________________________ Fear
^
(Workability) (Illusion)
Strengthen Lessen
this side this side
STRENGTHENING THE INTEGRITY SIDE
We strengthen this side by learning about it, gaining clarity and knowledge and distinctions about integrity. This takes us to Level 1, which is helpful, but limited.
Next, we learn even more and try to practice it, so that we know how to apply our knowledge and get better at applying it. This takes us to Level 2.
We fully resolve and fully commit, fully acknowledging the value of it and the "why" of it. This takes us to Level 5 and beyond. Reinforcing it and re-choosing it each day takes us further. When we take it on as our viewpoint that we own, with no excuses, then we look at the world through that lens and go into being in full power - full power is the ability to produce the controllable results we want in life, asking only "what will work?", with zero time making up stories, reasons, excuses, rationalizations, justifications, and the like - and as a result of not putting our effort elsewhere all of our energy goes to our power/creating.
The power of consciously choosing how you will be and what viewpoint you will look at the world from would best be fully understood. It is discussed in more depth in Being.
Consider reading "Winners Never Cheat," by Jon Huntsman, the super-successful billionaire whose aim is to give away his entire fortune to serve others. This is based on his wisdom and his chosen qualities. A great learning experience that will reinforce the absolute value of integrity - the most valuable character trait of them all!
LESSENING THE ILLUSION FEAR SIDE
In all of life we have what pulls us toward something and/or what pushes us away from something. In all cases, our power is best used to go toward something we intend to have, do, or be. What pushes us away from something produces no power, wastes time, and does not feel good. In fact, the latter is the source of suffering.
"I'm afraid because I might be embarrassed" is a belief that lies on top of other supporting beliefs (such as "I must look good" or "I must be approved of", which in turn lies on top of "I'm dependent" and "I'm powerless, a little being without full power", which in turn lies upon, believe it or not, a vague belief that if one is not loved one will not survive!).
Since we, as humans, naturally want to go away from pain, we spend alot of our lives avoiding it - but what we seek relief from is actually not something that is real, but something we made up from the point of view of dependency and some level of powerlessness, as a belief. (At this point, many people will protest: "I am fully grown up, not some dependent child. You're insulting me." No, I am not judging you nor insulting you, I am just pointing out a reason why you're not getting what you want in life and not being in full power at times.)
One MUST understand the basis for what are false fears (that have been kept in place and never fully examined) and then decide to replace those false beliefs with beliefs that line up with the real, physical world. Few fully realize how important this is - and they stop short of it, either because of not realizing the impact or thinking "it is too hard", which is based on another false belief.
Spend time on this replacing of false beliefs and the full installation of true beliefs until you feel virtually fearless - don't stop before that!
An indication of reaching this point is no longer believing any form of "not being good enough," "not being able to be fully powerful,"being powerless", not being able to tell the truth, not following through on your self promises and not engaging in any form of blame, shame, right/wrong, or good/bad - all of those beliefs are a result of living, at least partially, from a viewpoint about life that is not workable.
You'll visit each of those areas of this website and not sign off until you've fully replaced those beliefs and all beliefs that support them. There is nothing more productive for your time than doing this. Go to the Beliefs section to start the process.
Yes, you can increase the level of your integrity by using the strengthening side, but I do not believe you will be in your full power and integrity until you've handled the other side. (Two opposing forces = a problem. Removing one side = no problem. Learn fully what problem solving actually is, as it is a vital skill for creating happiness and effectiveness in life!!!)
Go ahead and start with the integrity strengthening side now and work on the other side progressively and expeditiously over time.
WHAT IT IS NOT
In defining integrity, we might define what is "not integrity":
Anything that diminishes you,
Takes away from you, or
Is inconsistent with who you are
All these give away and diminish your power, so they are the opposite of integrity.
YOUR COMMITMENT:
___ I CHOOSE AND COMMIT TO BE IN INTEGRITY, IN THAT I KNOW IT
WORKS AND IT IS CONSISTENT WITH, AND THE ONLY WAY OF, MY
BEING POWERFUL.
THE RESPONSIBILITY FACTOR
Within this factor is the choice to be a Rational, Nurturing Adult, applying reason from a high resourcefulness perspective and nurturing oneself, as if you were being the caring parent of a child. You choose to not choose the Child persona. See Responsibility Vs. Victimhood. A sure sign of not being responsible is that one is violating what one "knows" as being best or engaged in any "right/wrong" or being "in upset" about something.
LIVE YOUR VALUES, STANDARDS, RULES
Of course, in order to do this, one needs to identify (and possibly even create) one's values.
IMPECCABILITY WITH WHAT YOU SAY
Your word, what you say, is held with total honor and respect, as ruling in your world. You don't compromise what you said you would do or who you said you would be. You make no excuses or try to explain away when you do not succeed.
THE AUTHENTICITY FACTOR
You speak not hiding who you are nor compromising your values (though always working toward a win-win). This is honesty, but it is more about being who you are absolutely, out there in the world.
You ask authentically and caringly for what you want and you do no manipulations that do harm or try to create control by harmful means.
TAKING STANDS, MAKING COMMITMENTS
In this arena of integrity, you take stands (and don't just go with the drift) and you make commitments, which you keep.
ETHICS, NOT MORALITY
Morality is largely a set of values determined around right/wrong, mostly society. If you don't adhere to them, you are judged to be immoral. (Read Ethics, Morality.)
The right/wrong world is not the world I choose to live in or create.
I choose to live in the "what works" world. And, as such, I choose to be ethical, attempting to judge for myself what will create the greatest total good for all concerned.
Or another way of saying it, another "construct":
"Doing that which creates the greatest number of total units of good for all
concerned, and doing no harm."
Operating "in ethics" means that
You don't cheat a bit to get a bit more, realizing that cheating does not
enhance your long-term power, and in fact diminishes it.
You do not play win-lose or lose-win; you play win-win.
WILL YOU MAKE THE COMMITMENT?
I commit to:
___ Creating the greatest good for all concerned and doing the best I can to create no
harm, within the bounds of being sure to take care of myself in integrity.
___ Living in integrity, true to myself, my values, being consistent with the whole
Committed to this ____ day of _______________________, ____________
Signed: _________________________________
Addendum:
Steve Dorfman, President of Driven To Excel and author of the D2E Blog sent me — what he calls — his favorite definition of Integrity:
“Nothing hidden, being truthful and honest, doing complete work, working from an empowering context, and doing very well what you do; doing it as it was meant to be done or better, and without cutting corners.
“In other words, HONORING ONE’S WORD: Doing what you know to do, doing what you said you would do and on time, doing what others would expect you to do even if you haven’t said you would do it, and saying when you are not doing this as soon as you realize you won’t be doing it or won’t be doing it on time.”
