UNTIL WE GET "ENOUGH"
WE WILL BE "SELFISH", "ANXIOUS", AND UNHAPPY

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There are a lot of links in this piece.  Remember that it is most often better to first read the entire piece to get the overall idea and then go back to see what else would  be good to read.

THE FACTS ON OUR NEEDS PRIORITIES

In Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, he points out that we will not be drawn to higher desires or needs until we have satisfied the lower ones, which are primarily having sufficient food and shelter and then having positive recognition (which was, in itself, considered to be necessary in order not to be kicked out of the tribe and starve to death.  (See "Needs" section.)

But, while fooling around in the higher areas, we somehow lose sight of this reality, to which we are still tied.  Of course, we are less conscious of it because we have so much more than we need, so that it is not even an on-the-mind concern.


WE CREATE ARTIFICIAL "NEEDS" AND GAMES

It seems that most of us less enlightened human beings are caught up in not wanting to be considered anything less than what others approve of or admire.  And, we believe, that if people actually saw how we were, from our less than perfect behaviors to true selfishness, then they would not approve of us or like us - and then we think we will be miserable about that.  (See Approval, and learn not to "need" it, as that is one of the pre-requisites for total freedom and happiness.)

While we are pretending how great we are, how unselfish we are, and hiding who we really are, we are engaged in true inauthenticity.  Inauthenticity detracts from and distracts from one using one's energy toward what would benefit from - in essence, it takes away our power.  See Authenticity And Power In Life.)

The human machine and human nature dictate that we are, first, "selfish" - we always need to have our needs taken care of before we go to the next level beyond that. (See What Are Your Needs?

AND we do not want to use that reality as an excuse, as we can alter how we live life beyond survival.  But the truth is that "survival" is the top priority that our body/mind is programmed with - and few have overcome that programming, so don't expect that you'll do it. 

Even when we tend to think that we are beyond "survival" and when we think we are not selfish, that very thinking is based on our wanting to consider ourselves to be "good" and/or wanting others to consider us to be so.  We deny the fact of our necessarily being selfish and the fact that we are not "selfless." - and we would only deny that because we want to think we are "good".  This is part of a good/bad false view of life, which view was caused from wanting to be loved so that one would survive - good/bad was "made up" in order to be able to get what we want.
(To nail this down, see Good/Bad, Right/Wrong Versus Workable.)

Essentially and ironically, we use the good/bad viewpoint to make ourselves bad for not being good or good enough. 
 
Having to think we are good and to have others think we are good is part of an outdated strategy that was useful in the times where we were limited to being dependent on another (as in childhood) or on a "tribe". In caveman days, or in earlier days where we were limited, it was a survival strategy to look good and capable and to please the tribe so we wouldn't be kicked out and starve to death; and our anxiety about that was reduced by "thinking well of ourselves and our capabilties" - both are survival related). 


DO "WHAT WORKS", FIRST!

Perhaps the key point of this article is that we spend time and effort playing an unwinnable game or at least one with little true benefit - and that causes us to not put our effort into what really matters - things like learning the skill set of how to be happy and also, among others, how important it is to practice excellent self-care, and to take care of the "core" of one's Self.  If we learn those things closer to the central power source of our Selfs, then we deliver more benefit to others and we are not so "needy" of "getting more" and not seeing ourselves as "not having enough". 

This is akin to the stewardess' instructions:  "First be sure to put your air mask on and then you can help others with theirs."


Anyway, in my life I see that I need "enough" so that I can feel secure.  To some extent I've altered my thinking to believe that no one can starve in this world and that I can live perfectly fine even if I am living in one rented room and going to the library for free reading.  However, since I am not totally transformed (yet), this is my thinking on it - and my strategy designed to meet two conflicting "needs".   

I convinced myself that I will have enough and it is worth a bit of uncertainty sufficiently to be able to give some amounts to charities, supporting poor kids, and to helping out other humans.
And it is rewarding, to some extent, to help others.  Indeed, it is one of the key identified causes of happiness (which is my next imperative, after survival).

After providing enough money to be sufficient for my sister and brother, all the rest will go to helping other people and, if it is sufficiently in place, to my institute which will train and help people to become vastly more effective in life such that they are happy and such that they will influence and cause others to be effective and happy, hopefully to the extent that it brings about peace throughout the earth (the latter is tongue-in-check, as it may not be that effective, but it is still something I want for the world).

The questions is "how can I make that happen earlier?" 

The answer lies in guaranteeing that my selfish secure survival is in place.  And then the question is how do I do that?

The answer lies in this strategy, which I would also urge others to consider.




lion and the carcass


How can you make sure your money will be utilized most effectively?  Were the $100,000,000 gifts from Annenberg (TV Digest) and from Zuckerberg (Facebook) to public school systems the most efficient and effective way to utilize the money.