What is rage?
Beliefs - False And Harmful
Theories in the "how do they know, really?" category
"Rage is, in this day and age, only an inappropriate reaction based on false beliefs that it is effective and false beliefs that there is, in fact, extreme danger. You are in charge. You must learn what the false beliefs are. You must train yourself. You must rewire the programming. AND you can create a highly desirable result of equanimity and fearlessness, a calmness in the midst of chaos. All of this is totally and doably within your control."
WHAT IS RAGE?
A fear-based emotion, a fight or flight response, evolved to protect one from extreme danger. (Anyone experiencing rage, therefore, must have a belief that there is extreme danger - which is virtually always a false belief or false interpretation.)
It is "violent, explosive anger", an emergency reaction, which evolved in our "wiring" to put us into action, to attack when there is an actual physical (survival) threat and cure it. That extraordinarily extreme effort was needed to meet the extreme danger, as more meek reaction would not help us survive. (It is wired in, so the response happens automatically. The "cure" lies in correcting the cause and in installing responses that ameliorate the response.)
Rage is solely to create great strength to fight off physical danger for you and/or a loved one. Use for anything else is a result of some erroneous belief about it being effective, as it is not otherwise effective.
"It involves an overwhelming release of hormones when confronted with a threatening situation that will result in physical violence or fleeing from the threat. Rage is also a state of mind in which large amounts of adrenaline are released and the body reverts to a more primal instinct. The adrenaline makes oneself very powerful and gives a sense of security in being able to handle the danger (plus it is a "high"). In this state of mind one doesn't think clearly; the brain processes one idea at a time and thus is unable to accomplish more, though in this state of mind it is motivated by emotions rather than personal goals." (Because there is an overwhelming release of hormones, this, just as panic, must be stopped earlier in the causal chain. See below.)
"Rage tends to be expressed [as an immature response] when a person faces a threat to their pride, position, status or dignity." "Rage is a narcissistic response to one’s past injuries."
"Rage is a mental state that is one extreme of the intensity spectrum of anger. When a person experiences rage it usually lasts until a threat is removed or the person under rage is incapacitated. The other end of the spectrum is annoyance." (When you are trained well in philosophy and psychology, you'll find that annoyance will almost disappear totally from your life.)
It is a form of a childish tantrum, hoping somehow to be rescued, instead of exerting impulse control and being responsible.
Its cousin is anger, which is based on blame (attributing a threat to something) and a threat that must be handled with more power. In this case, the threat is not actual, or at least in reality at all extreme. (The concept and mechanism of blame must be corrected. See The Reasoning For No Blame, as it is an essential concept for mental healthiness and happiness.)
It is also thought by the immature mind to be a form of vengeance, kind of a childish fantasy of "getting even." The victim in this case believes that it will somehow correct a wrong - which is totally erroneous "magical thinking" with no sound basis - it is all imaginary! The effect on the object of the vengeance is always negative and serves to distance that person and harm the person, as if that would improve the situation - ridiculous, preposterous, preposteri!
It is conceivable and probable even that a person with a feeling of powerlessness will feel more threatened and have to "amp it up" to overcome the fear and to handle the threat. They are prone to feeling overwhelmed and powerless, so it is marshalling extreme opposite of powerlessness. (See the Child Persona.) People who haven't learned impulse control (an element of emotional intelligence) need to learn that, as one of the tools to prevent this "insane" overreaction to what is not actually dangerous (but is made out to be dangerous by "crazy" thinking that is not based on reality).
Unless one (or a loved one) is actually being attacked, rage is not actually useful.
This must be cured, as it is a dangerous practice which will get in the way of one's happiness and be too toxic and harmful to be in a relationship. It is just plain not justified and it is cruel. No matter how automatic you think it is, it is under your control and your choice - if you choose it, you are choosing to create the damage.
BELIEFS - FALSE AND HARMFUL
Of course, like worry or negative thinking, there is a belief that this will be effective in some way. Of course, it is not at all effective, except in harming oneself and making things worse.
This type of erroneous thinking must be stopped, as soon as possible.
Since it is a result of an overhyped physical danger system, the brain must be rewired , which is doable.
And the cause of the chain in the first place, the belief that there is an extreme threat must be corrected and eliminated!!!!!!
This chain reaction occurs when faced with a situation "perceived" to be threatening, so we need to correct the basis of the filter that creates that perception or conclusion (which we think is "the truth", when we are using only our lower brain).
THEORIES IN THE "HOW DO THEY KNOW, REALLY?" CATEGORY
Yes, these theories may have some truth we can utilize and some may even, in fact, be true. But we must decide for ourselves whether to believe them and/or accept them and utilize them. I present them only for an expansion of how we might think of this, so we have more opportunities to provide solutions from different perspectives.
You could skip directly to the solutions section, though you might miss something that would be triggered as a possibility to explore.
Caused from past traumas
"Rage is caused from built up anger from past traumas." This could be "kind of true". It is true that a trauma will cause the brain to remember something, as it is filed in the "important to remember" category in the mind. It is "kinda true" that anger can build up, in the sense that it can be reinforced and a bigger circuit of emergency signals and beliefs that reinforce it can physically result.
Locked in our minds and bodies
"These accumulated angry dispositions are locked in our mind and bodies."
As we repeat the anger reactions and the thoughts that create them, the circuits are reinforced in our brain wiring.
Our "brain" exists primarily in the bulk of it in the concentrated area in our head, but that area is connected to all the parts of the body, which have a "mini-brain" that is very, very simple and not able to "reason".
Cells can "learn" and develop defenses to protect themselves and even alter their function to meet existing conditions.
Somehow this ability evolved, as it helped us survive, but it is actually only a physical thing, a mechanism that works to help us survive.
Through stress and negative thoughts we can create circumstances where the body must adjust.
It is pretty well established that one can "hold tension" in a particular place in the body and that that holding was created out of the function of protection.
Notice how you tense up or cringe into a defensive (seemingly passive) posture when confronted with some kind of danger.
So it is locked up in a sense, but it can be released by various means. We can free up those parts of our body by physical means (all of it is actually physical). If we press hard on an area where the tension is held, it could bring to mind (the "brain") the memory of what created it, or it might not, also. Freeing up that tension, nevertheless, is always good as it helps the body function better and be in a state closer to homeostasis.
(Many people call this bunk. They may try it and not experience the memory or the "freeing up" and "being happy for the rest of their lives". They need to realize that it is still beneficial. They need to realize that the "airy fairy" "made-ups" that are created to promise great and magical cures are just hype and not soundly based, though well-intentioned in most cases.)
Do the opposite
The solution to any problem is to figure out what is being done and then to do the opposite. If a belief is causing a bad result (if you get a bad result, it is guaranteed that there is a false belief in there somewhere), then you must discover and install the opposite, true, beneficial belief.
Simple idea, but very powerful.
We must ask what our mind is saying. This is always an identifiable "internal conversation" expressed in words. If you can't lay your mind on what those words are, then deduce what thoughts would create such a frenzy.
If what is causing the undesired result is known, it would make sense to figure out what the opposite action(s) and belief(s) are and to implement those.
The mind is saying "extreme danger" here, so you might say,:
"There is no real danger here."
“Mind relax, mind relax!”
Creating the opposite:
Since we've seen that the perception that there is extreme danger causes the problem, we would create, as the opposite, that there is no real threat:
"I can do more than enough to survive and do well even with undesirable outcomes, there will be enough good outcomes and life will turn out."
"I’m ok right now, I'm able to feed myself and take care of myself."
(Whenever you have affirmations you want to put them in a place for ready reference. You could add these to your affirmations section, under "rage affirmation", in the Reminders Notebook.)
The following must also be part of the internal conversation. The mind is saying "this will help get me what I want":
"Rage will not get me what I want. What I want is peace and that is my highest priority. This issue is not important enough to give myself up for it."
The opposite of (fearful) rage is happiness and compassion:
"I'll make my own happiness. I am no longer dependent on anyone anymore."
"I understand you, my child, and I love you. Let's just let it be. I'll take care of you."
(Giving up the illusion of "needing" another person or not being able to survive if something goes wrong is essential to the process.)
Use the beliefs changing process
Obviously, rage is the result of recordings in the brain, ones that likely tie together, into the conclusion that there is "extreme danger". So the solution, at the core, is to identify and then to deal with Changing Beliefs. (Read and apply that section. In fact, you should become an expert at that, as it lies at the base of any unhappiness.)
POSSIBLE SELF CONVERSATION
"This is not an actual threat. I am making this up. Calm down. I am now creating peace. Relaxing. Letting this go until I can think clearer. I will not allow this to continue to hurt me. It is harmful and ineffective. I will not tolerate it. I choose, instead, happiness."
"I choose now to implement deep, slow breathing. At least six very slow and very deep breathers. I choose now to scan my body and relax each tense part. I will reenter the situation only after I am fully calm and centered."
Create your own conversation and new beliefs that resonate with you, in your own words probably. Learn how the whole process of rage occurs and create the opposite conversation, one that is valid and true. Also, create, coping statements to use to lower and/or correct the intensity when or after it has occurred, plus one must set up written rules and a commitment contract on how one will react appropriately in such situations.