We don't "see" the mistake we are making, unless we engage in a process that virtually guarantees it!
This process assures that you are ready and that your potential partner is ready - and changes the odds of succeeding from 7% to 95%!
This is so important that we must remember and apply the relevant rule (and discipline) to avoid the great cost of making a significant error:
THE CARPENTER'S RULE
MEASURE TWICE, CUT ONCE
WHAT IS "MARRIAGE CERTIFICATION"?
3) CERTIFICATION FROM A "PROFESSIONAL" - And the final certificate granted and sign by a qualified expert (not as a guarantee, but as a "looks like the homework is done and these two people will work together to make a good relationship come about. (If it could be approved by John Gottman that would be the ultimate. Accordingly you would make sure that you kept The Positivity Ratio.