THE PENALTY OF NOT LEARNING:
Being low skilled and less aware in a relationship is like trying to fly a plane with little training and alot of supposition - it seldom works and can be fatal to the relationship. Much emotional cost accompanies not having a good relationship and much is missed if one does not learn to have a great relationship.
THE MINIMUM MINIMUM: Do at least this, to honor your partner and the relationship:
you'll be flying blind, even if you don't think that is true!
DEVELOPING THE LEARNING PROGRAM:
get the overview and perspective, on one page, of what is needed to learn and the next
checklist of what you can choose to learn.
from, for more complete learning. Choose which you need and want to learn.
Video Online Program - Tells you how to build relationships, including a "Couples on The
Street" sharing feature, and gives evaluations and printouts from what you've answered. It
even emails you summaries of the key points in each exercise. There is a cost that is
reasonable that gives you unlimited access for a period, plus all the evaluations and
training. A bargain and something you both can do together. eharmony.com
Learning "in action"
Reading something will help your learning, but immediate application and thinking in more
depth creates a longer lasting, more complete learning that is far more effective. Toward
that end, if your relationship is not perfect and you are not totally aware and trained in the
area, we recommend that you do at least one of the exercises in these books every
week, preferably two or more. Yes, this takes time, but isn't investing a couple of hours a
week in the most valuable long term investment (besides yourself) in the world worth it?
IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP, YOU'VE GOT TO DO THIS!
Getting The Love You Want Workbook, Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt - Lots of great
exercises in a systematic order and an opportunity to create an excellent relationship.
You'd probably want to do this one first, then McGraw's book, eliminating the
The Relationship Rescue Workbook, Phillip C. McGraw, Ph.D.- Questionnaires, quizzes,
and exercises all designed to get you in touch with yourself and how you are in the
relationship and how to resolve problems and make the relationship work.
SOME PIECES TO USE AND/OR READ ALSO:
The Process in Mastering "Relationship" - Will be added later, but there is enough
here to work on
at which level of attainment, from psychological health to willingness vs. resistance
and barriers, including how much time you are willing to commit to.
some key relationship matters, especially the effects of blame and resentment -
the relationship killers.
exercises you can ever do. Be sure to listen, for the feedback you get can change
your life and dramatically improve your relationships!
Have Better Results - What does that mean about me, about my partner...does it
mean something "bad"?
Workshops - What Is Effective And What Isn't - Don't waste your time or use it with
minimal effect. If you're considering a workshop, be sure to make sure that there
are certain effectiveness characteristics included, such as a followup program to
make sure it all is mastered. (See Relationship Resources.)
EXAMPLE LEARNING PROGRAMS DESIGNED FOR OTHERS
Reading list for a couple to be more clear on responsibility, control, and perceptions:
does hit some very key points. To complete and finalize certain behaviors and