CHECKLIST/CHECKUP FOR A HEALTH, HAPPY RELATIONSHIP
MAKING THE INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WORK VERY, VERY WELL!
Instructions: Use this checklist every six months if the relationship is going relatively well. Otherwise, every month. Check off what you are doing right and then fix the others!
__ I have read at least the major pieces on this site.
__ I have written out how I would like to be in our relationship and I have a plan to implement
__ Express gratitude and appreciation at least once a day.
Never, never do these:
__ Complaining (pointing up something negative without positively seeking solution)
__ Offer suggestions if not asked (Control) __ Express anger (the anger is about you and expressing it wires it into your brain) __ Express resentment (the very same mechanism as anger, and very silly!) __ Blame the other (a childhood strategy that is a poor one, with bad results)
__ Express irritation (always catch it and deal with it with myself, it is a form of blame)
__ Speak in other than a calm voice (or very close, with few slip ups, take Time Out if louder)
__ Walk away when my partner is talking about touchy stuff
__ Leave issues unresolved, unfinished (unless appointment time is set up to finish it)
__ I use time outs freely and productively, in a friendly manner.
But I do:
__ I am always gentle and kind with my partner; I realize that nothing else works. (Loving.)
__ I am following all the healthy actions on these checklists, so that I am psychologically
and physically in good well-being and able to be fully present for the relationship
__ I insure that I get enough sleep so that I am well-rested.
__ I am moderate in caffeine intake and the intake of refined carbs and refined sugar,
and I realize the effect on my relationships and my own happiness.
__ I make sure I do these checkups when needed:
My attitude and character in the matter