untitled1

IMPULSE CONTROL

THE FIRST STEP TO MATURITY

We all want to masterfully control our lives to create what we want in life.

Yet, we allow ourselves to go ahead and do something that we know (or suspect) might do us harm.

Learning what is the right thing to do is part of building accumulated wisdom. But that wisdom does us no good if we are still inclined to do what we know is not good for us.

I, myself, have experienced this in many ways. I've known it isn't a good idea to eat that carton of ice cream (or even to buy it), but somehow my "impulse" has me do it, as if I am a slave to something that I desperately somehow need for "right now". Somehow I still believe the false programming message from my brain.

But I do have my thinking center being aware of this not being right. So, the question is, for this piece, "How do I heed the higher brain and stop acting on the lower brain?"

The answer lies in exercising a muscle of "impulse control."

We get into a habit of going with our impulses, after which we typically feel "weak-minded" besides suffering the consequences of the errant impulse.

A solution lies in developing the muscle of "postponing gratification" (though it isn't true gratification).

The process is simply doing this as often as possible, building the postponement muscle:

I get an impulse. (To eat ice cream).

I, obviously, notice the impulse.

I then label it ("mindfully") as something I know is not good for me.

I then implement the "postponement" strategy:

I do "The Pause" for as long as I can do it. (Start at one or so minutes and then start expanding from there.)

Then I decide what to do, preferably not doing the harmful behavior (or at least

cut it down or limit it in some way)

This is not something to do once in a while. It is a practice to consistently engage in, for the rest of your life.

The wise person has an alternative with which to fill up the space. If there is no alternative action to choose from, then the default thought or action will persist, much to our detriment - as life will compound against our greater good.

WHY YOU MUST DO THIS

In a relationship, if you act on impulse, I guarantee you will not have a good relationship. There will always be lots of erroneous brain messages (that haven't yet been corrected), some with patterns that are very harmful - and which should never be acted upon. You "know" these, as they are related to anger and fear - you should never proceed on those without first pausing and then answering "is this good for the relationship?" or the general power question "is this the right thing to do?".

Until you learn this and can have confidence that you will implement the interference and and the pause to think, you should not enter a relationship, for you do not have what it takes to make it work - and it'll only bring you more suffering and disillusionment.

Your health and the quality of your life are at stake, also. You can't afford to keep on letting erroneous brain messages dictate your behavior, as if you were a thoughtfree bozo with no brains with which to make a reasoned choice.

TO DO THIS, YOU MUST LEARN AND BE AWARE OF THIS

A key underlying concept is that you must know that the brain sends out messages that are not revised properly and are often erroneous. If you believe these untrue messages are "the truth", then you have a major misunderstanding that will have you be run by the matched, but random and/or erroneous, content from a recording in the brain.

It is essential that you know that IT IS ONLY A RECORDING, NOT A TRUTH OR AN IMPERATIVE.