It is vital that you "get" this and then do those things that make life truly easier - and much more satisfyingly and happy!

And does it make sense that if you resist (fight against, dig your heels in, etc.) something that will take more effort.

The first problem of not spending more effort than needed to get a desired result can be solved easily, in terms of a strategy that works.  Also, if I define it as getting the most value from getting the right results, I can make myself even more "productive" - defined as producing more benefit per amount of effort. 

And the latter is the end objective of life:  getting as much happiness and satisfaction and appreciation of my life and being as I can - rising to higher levels of being able to enjoy life. 

In addressing this, we must first make sure that you have all the basics exactly correct and understood, as each leads to the effectiveness of the next principle and ultimately to the effectiveness of a person, which in turn leads to that person producing the desired results in terms of happiness.


The first principle involved is that we need to learn how to do certain key things right - or we'll do them wrongly and we will get undesired results more often.  (Duh!) 

It's funny how people agree with that idea (who couldn't?), but how few then follow with action that is in accordance with that principle.


The second principle, since we as humans can't learn everything perfectly at first, is to directly acknowledge that we have obtained an undesired result and to then do what it takes to learn to do it right (if the effort to learn is worth the increased benefit).  (Human beings seem to know that this makes sense, but for some reason they don't do it.  A big portion of the reason they don't do it is their false preconception that it is hard PLUS the fact that they mostly have not developed a key skill:  the skill of changing.  Also, and listen up here!:  We don't schedule it in, which means it is far more likely to not happen, since urgency is a direct signal often but importance with no urgency doesn't happen on its own - that is a principle also.  Read Importance Versus Urgency - One Concept..., Huge Difference In Life Success!   This, of course, lies at the heart of the lifestyle I recommend:  Living The 80/20 Life - A Life Of Ease, Grace, High Effectiveness And Unconditional Happiness.)

This, in fact, is the function of the higher brain (mostly, though the lower brain does some elementary learning).  Therefore, we must choose to use the higher brain.  (Duh!)

Basically, we form a "belief", which is a "this is how things work" in the following manner:

(Sensory input, information)
                                                Belief (This is how it works)
      Prior knowledge
      (E.g. memory)

However, at times, perception of data can be wrong, unless done in the right way, and, of course, prior knowledge can be wrong.  Other than direct study (like you are doing right now), we will only discover that it is wrong by looking at the best indicator:  an undesired result that you caused (or allowed to happen).  [Some things that happen are not in your control, of course, but your actions to deal with those are in your control.]

The mechanism involved here is that of all champions, whether it is sports, an area of life, or in life overall.  ( See Living The Life Of A Life Champion, which is contrasted with living life as The Gradually Boiling Frog.)

Do something → Notice result  →  Learn what is right →  Implement (Adjust, to
                        (= "feedback")                                      produce the right result)


The "secret" here, of the greatest champions, is to increase:

1.  The frequency of feedback (and the quality of the feedback)
2.  The rapidity of adjustment. 

It is similar to flying a commercial jet.  If you don't notice you're off course (an undesired result along the way) or running out of fuel, you'll end up in the wrong place and/or die.   If you allow yourself to drift for a long time, then you'll have to come back further - and you'll take more time and energy (fuel).  [Most people know that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.  Accordingly, the less straight the line, the greater the distance and energy needed to get to the same destination!]

While it is obvious in the airplane example, it is not so obvious in life.  And if we don't see something or see what the long term effect will be, we will either not adjust at all or take too long to begin to adjust.  The ironclad proof is that human beings most often do not take significant action until they get a wake up call, such as a heart attack, diabetes, kidney or liver malfunction, cancer, etc.  We would all agree, I would think, that action "should be" taken way before, in order to prevent the problem and not lose our lives or the quality of our lives. 

However, we do not bother to learn how important it is to do what it takes to frequently adjust course.  We do not understand the great cost of not adjusting frequently, which is the equivalent of leading life largely ignorantly.  We fall prey to the highly, highly erroneous cultural assertion that we will simply learn life automatically as we go, or as my father used to say "throw them into the water and they'll learn how to swim" - the motivation idea may be valid, but otherwise there are obvious flaws!  (Read The Law Of Randomness - Directionless, Resultless.)

Parents (and other influencers) pass these damaging false beliefs onto their children and thusly perpetuate the children living a far less quality of life than they could live otherwise.  Sad, but true, in example after example, and somewhat differing by culture. 
(Read Parenting and The Top Predictor Of A Child's Success In Life.)

Increase learning (prior knowledge to apply to a problem, wisdom) deliberately by

  1.  Following a systematic program
  2.  With expert accurate resources

Increase learning based on rapid and in-depth "learning from our mistakes"

  1.  With greater feedback (scheduled reviews, accountability and measuring results, using better experts to "see" errors better so we know when to correct and to teach us better, and/or helpers who call attention to these, such as coaches)
  2.  With better quality input that is more effective.
  3.  Quick action to try it out and/or get it into practice

The great, admired champions were, at the basic level, no more gifted than others, but the difference was that they paid attention more often and adjusted more often, so that they had 100's of improvements as opposed to the less successful who had far fewer improvements - and remember that improvement "compound" over time to cause "geometric" improvements, where growth is faster and faster.  Ironically, it seems, the rapid and frequent improvements take much less total effort than those who spend less energy in the improvement part and then waste lots more effort in performing less well!!!! 


If we make a decision "in the moment" where we might be less energetic, less alert, less psychologically filled up, in a hurry, etc., we are by far (hugely) less likely to make a good decision.  Important decisions should be made in advance and only during the time when one's full faculties (and higher brain) are being engaged.   And then, highly obviously, they should be implemented and skillfully kept in place using an effective procedure to do so (i.e. a predetermined, well-designed "way" to do things). [Consider reading:  Super-Principle:  Good Programs And Good Procedures - For Life To Work Well!!!!!)

Generally, learning is well worth it.  If you follow the old adage of "a stitch in time saves nine", you'll, obviously save effort.  If you follow the fact that more knowledge produces better results, while ignorance produces the opposite of bliss, you'll be much better off in life.  (The old trite and false belief:  "Ignorance is bliss.")

"But, I can't spend so much time learning as I won't have a life." 

That false belief, true only to an extreme of spending time with no action from what one has learned, is ignorant of the fact that the learning (of the reasonably important core things in life) frees up time - and therefore it has no net cost in time, you come out not only with a better life but more time to do other parts of life!  This is also true financially, when a person can make more per hour, then the person needs fewer hours to accomplish his goal (net of any foolishness).

So, the reality of it is that we do have some limits, but we can easily profit from and do 5 hours a week, with some of it in the form of daily journaling (use Effective Journaling as a practice).  10 hours is very doable also, but the best way to do it is not to fit it around the edges of daily work and living but to set aside a half-day, a day, a week or ? in order to focus on learning without interruption and/or to do "immersion" learning, which is highly effective!  (See Methods Of Learning - Includes immersion learning and also a ranking of modes and The Best Ways To Learn - The Importance Of Learning How To Learn.)  See also the Hours Needed To Learn Life Skills At Different Levels, for the overview.

Making this a priority can seem difficult...but if you use the scheduling techniques recommended it will be relatively easy, as it becomes a habit AND you do not seem to notice that you have fewer hours left for the rest of life - you seem to transform your view of time, so it all works out.

Please do remember, however, that it is essential that you do the items that require more energy (effort, brain power) when you have more energy.  This seems obvious, but few do it.  It makes things be easier to do, especially compared to trying to do a high energy requiring function when you have low energy - the key to frustration and giving up.   

Read this page this way!

It is best to read this kind of page straight through, and, then, to go back and read any links to an area where it would be more useful to have a more indepth understanding and/or implementation.

The right way to a happy life!

Read and apply the basics in this piece: 
The Only Path To The Greatest Life - Using "The Process" - Life becomes easier and easier and much more satisfying and happy - guaranteed! 

Living Life As A Life Happiness Champion - The Vital Skills And Practices To Live A Great Life! 

The hard way to live life

Why Is Life So Difficult, So Hard? Only Because We Often Don't Know Or Do What Makes It Easier!!
- Read the corollary pieces to, until you complete "get it".


Parenting - A Vital Skill That Few Really Have, But What A Difference Can Be Made! - We are generally unskillful, not very informed, and making it harder than it need be - and our children suffer for it, all of their lives.  

"Harder" is a perception both in:

1.  Objective terms of "takes more effort" and
2.  Psychological terms of our creating a negative meaning to it, of loss or burden or of personal sacrifice or even of stupidity or some other basis for false criticism.  (Woe is me, I'm at fault, I'm bad, how will I ever get enough to be happy...)

In fact, if you removed the erroneous psychological added meaning of being hurt or miserable because of something being harder, it would not "be harder" to us, it would just be a "what's so and a so what, I'm surviving just fine and the extra effort has no real meaning to it, especially if I'm getting a higher payoff from it."

The secret, in a sense, is to do both the objective and the psychological, so that life is in fact easier and that the "hard" parts of life have no (negative) significance, but only significance in terms of doing what is necessary to make life work better!  

So, when I say life can be easy I mean far easier in actuality plus far easier in our perception.
                                                                                 The BuddhaKahuna

Does it make sense that if you do something wrongly it is likely to not get as good a result as if you do something the right way?

And if you want a better result, you'll have to try again?  (So not getting the right desired result is "harder" in the sense that it requires one to do it over again and to accordingly spend the effort again, but that is always the reality.  If we don't know how to do something or if we need to redo something, that is simply the necessary path - if at first, you don't succeed, try, try again [but more intelligently each time, hopefully].)

Does it not make sense that if someone does something wrongly that it might cause damage - and even more effort to deal with it and/or correct it?  (So wouldn't it be better to learn to do it rightly and effectively ahead of time?) 

And does it make sense that if you are not sure about something and have opposing ideas in the mind that you will be successful less often and that you will be spending some effort fighting yourself?


Check off the ones you are doing, put in a W for "will do" and an S for when it is actually tickled or scheduled.  (The key is to learn in a systematic sequence and have learning "scheduled in" - it makes it easier AND more effective, and collapses the time line for the learning curve!)

__ Learning and understanding how major things in life work and learning how to work them
   __ Learning it "in sequence" (much easier
        and more effective (see The Paths)
   __ Know what reality is!

__ Consistently assure stay in a high state
    __ Do The Power Pause (Stop, breathe,
         think, notice, decide...),  all day, many,
         many times
     __ Stay (or get back quickly) into the
          homeostatic Power Zone

__ Develop the key life skills
    __ Do Effective Learning (including
         "acquisition of knowledge into a
          referenceable system
    __ Learn Effective (Critical) Thinking!
    __ Problem solving, decision making (so
         you "know" with certainty and clarity)
    __ Core emotional mastery skills (together
         with beliefs mastery/correction)

__ Solve problems very timely
    __ Before they occur (they are anticipable
         ahead of time in human lives!)
    __ Asap after they occur (leave no
         problem-cause in place!!!)

__ Using the right ways of thinking
    __ Know how to engage & prepare mind
         to actually think clearly and effectively
    __ Effective (Critical) Thinking!
    __ Systems thinking for everything in life
         __ Causal chains thinking
     __ Prioritize by "marginal value",
          impact (a huge effect!!!)

__ Changing beliefs as early as possible in life
    __ Proactively, as much as possible, ahead
         of time!
    __ And as negative effects happen, asap!

__ Stopping the false negative (belief) narratives
    __ Dissolving completely the fault-
         criticism loop (this is a core cause of
         negative emotion, removing it is

There are a number of other items, for later, after you've done these!  The list is started here.