How it all started, as a starting place...
Creating a new, functional philosophy
Re-Thinking and re-wording - the process
HOW IT ALL STARTED, AS A STARTING PLACE...
During our early years and during other times when we are not knowledgeable or wise, we attach ourselves to beliefs, rules, and/or philosophies that are not empowering, not true, and which often make no sense if thought through.
In essence, though most often not on purpose, we form a “philosophy”, as these sentences we create express a “viewing point” about life – an explicit one, stated “out loud” in your mind. And then we repeat them.
Most of these sentences were formed as a way of protecting ourselves from an imagined or exaggerated danger.
CREATING A NEW, FUNCTIONAL PHILOSOPHY
Re-forming sentences that you spot are part of the process of creating a new philosophy, piece by piece, from one part outside to the overall "building". It is also helpful to use the top to bottom approach, from the overall down to the pieces, by learning about overall philosophy, as in the Philosophy section.
Or you could approach this by addressing key areas or problems and then creating empowering (viewpoints) statements.
RE-THINKING AND RE-WORDING - THE PROCESS
The way this process occurs is to take each of the sentences and go through something similar to the Rational Analysis process or the Thought Change Record, except that you are taking the sentences in a conversation (in your head or outloud) and re-forming each of them. Use the two column simple format in the worksheet form examples at the bottom of this page. The "re-former" is your higher brain, possibly using the idea of role-playing the Rational, Nurturing Adult. Whatever works for you. After you fill in what your "self" or "child" is saying, and you’ve gone as deep down into what the child is thinking as you can, then use the column next to that to do the following: (you might want to also print out the worksheet called "What My Child Is Saying".)
1. Interpret further what is beneath the statement, if it is applicable or possible.
You could insert that in the first column, just highlight it in a way to know you added that.
2. Take each one of those statements and do the standard steps
a. Say "is this really true?" (If it is an upsetting thought, it has to be from an
untrue statement.) Is this really based on a true assumption basis?
b. Then write down next to it "untrue" or "false basis", as is appropriate.
2. Write in the second column a statement that would
a. Comfort the primitive brain (or whatever metaphor you use for it such
as "my inner child")
b. Support or reassure the primitive brain (or "self")
c. State what the actual “truth” is, writing it down, creating it from your
d. Provide a substitute empowering statement
3.Pick out any statements that you could use as mantras, declarations, coping statements, or affirmations. Write them down. Practice them for at least 21 days, twice a day, in a loud, powerful voice and posture. (Keep them in your Reminders Notebook.)
What My Child Is Saying - Includes what actually occurred, alternate sentences, and a guide for what types of sentences to include, ending up with selection of mantras or affirmations.
Simple two column worksheet with one column listing lower self conversation and one listing the higher conversation.
I am this fearful person who screwed up compared to others.
Something is wrong with me that I can't be at ease with good people.
Treated like crap, brings up automatic response....
My fatigue is overwhelming
I feel like I am a scumbag for reneging on a commitment
I am a greedy self-centered person.
I'm attractive, but not beautiful...
I'm repulsive and disgusting
Being accountable feels stressful
I need validation
Personification as if real, child, etc.
Takes sheer determination to shift
"Child" need to keep being upset until "seen"
I'm intent on being self-destructive
Why am I punishing myself?
I'm warped, poison
I'm not worth it, who cares
Not accomplishing what I should
Undones, should do more