As a "kid", it is difficult to determine for oneself a better way to look at themselves as marvelous beings, especially when they tend to accept what is taught to them - where much of it is erroneous and not soundly based on reality.   

They are deluged with trying to be liked, as they have it wired that it means something about them. 

They learn about the concept of fault and blame, but don't realize that it is just a social system of beliefs designed to get people in line.

They fail to see that they have more than "enough" ability to do well in life.  Of course, they have to learn the skills and knowledge necessary, but they have plenty of ability to do that.  Doing it well makes life easier.  

But what they often fail to see is that such things as "fame" and putting on a good mask to get "votes" from other people is an artificial sham, full of misbeliefs. 

I received a very gracious email from one class, thanking me for a resource they used (Instant Reference For Valuable Browsing - Sources Of Value For My Spare Moments).   The sender says they used it during their "annual self esteem workshop" - how great it is that the teacher (and the organization?) realizes how crucial this is to a good life!

They suggested this excellent site that they used a lot for the class:  An Online Guide To Improving Self Esteem.  It is worthwhile studying for anyone.  .


All of this is part of a "view" of oneself, a way of looking at oneself in relation to the world and how one sees oneself operating in it.  The "broader view" I am speaking of is that of assessing one's strengths, assessing how one operates in life (especially in relationships, close ones all the way to "the world's peoples').   And, of course, it includes the way one unjustificaly "judges" oneself for not being this or being that or not being "good enough" in some way or overall - all of those are based on false ideas.  Read No Fault - it is vital that you understand this totally, as it is an essential for living a happy life.   

Each person is simply a grain of sand relative to the approximately 7 billion people on earth - and no one is more important than any other person in terms of life's worth.  We all "got" the prize, so being worthy is not a question - are you worthy of having what you have or do you simply "have it", with no false judgment about whether you should have it!

Relative to oneself, one's life is 10,000 times more valuable to you than anyone else's, because you are experiencing it.  But no one else will give you what you need at the highest level.  Only YOU can. It is your "job" to live your life at a level to create what is of great value to you.  Some people closer to you will, of course, value you and you will give attention and "whatever" to them that is of value to them.  But 98+% comes from you, if you count up all of your thoughts and your actions for yourself.  That's why people promote the idea of being 100% responsible in life - because you are, and that means that once you realize that you are, then you'll go about engaging in what will work for you and not having to be dependent on others. 


To have healthy self esteem one must develop an entire "philosophy" of life that includes those elements that add up to self esteem:

1.  I am capable enough to create a good life.  (True, not just pablum, but the "capable" applies to the ability to learn and them "do" things. Reference:  Am I Capable Of An Excellent Life?)

A subpart of this is knowing that I can learn what is necessary to properly control myself and that I need not buy into cultural myths about how one is helpless to control certain behaviors.  I must learn how the body and mind work and know that my higher brain can be utilized to create what I want:  health (endurance, proper weight, sugar balance, low blood pressure), excellent relationships (from my side, with no reactive anger), and peace of mind and happiness.  To do this, I will use Authentic Learning.

Also a subpart is realizing that I need to concentrate primarily on developing my core and not being concerned about the irrelevant and less relevant pieces of life out there in the world.  Read The Core Of Your Life - Just Maintain This And Your Circumstances Will Not Matter.

2.  I am 100% responsible for my life.  I am not, once I get beyond childhood, at all dependent on others.  And one can, with these undersandings, save alot of effort and frustration by learning not to try to control/interfere with others and to put one's efforts toward what will actually produce a good payoff.  Read the basis for "good control": 

3.  There is No Fault and "judgment" is not justified.  One either has the knowledge needed to do something or doesn't.  If one doesn't then one needs to learn.

4.  There is more than enough to be happy about.  Read What I Have, For Sure - My Mountain Of Haves Versus The Preposterous Idea Of Unreasonable Expectations. Consider writing out My Positives Portfolio.


An example of a good self esteem action is, indeed, the email that was sent to me (slightly edited with links and eliminating names):


a quick thanks for your helpful life management resources.. :)


Hi, I just wanted to take the time to contact you and let you know that my classmates and I have found your page ( InstantReferenceSpare Moments ) to be such a great reference for our annual self esteem workshop that we put together for our younger students at the community center. My teacher, Mrs. W, thought it would be nice if we wrote you a thank you note (using her email) to let you know that it's been such a great help for all of us :)

As a small token of our appreciation, we all thought it would be nice send along another resource that we came across during our workshop: An Online Guide To Improving Self Esteem.

It has some helpful information and sites to learn about improving self esteem in kids and adults, that we thought could help other students and teachers as well. And if you decided to add it to you other resources, I'd love to show Mrs. W that the site was up to share with other students :) But thanks again for your help! And I hope to hear back from you soon. Sincerely, E (and the rest of Mrs. W's class)