FROM BEING SUICIDAL TO CREATING REALISTIC HOPE
FROM THE EXTREME OPPOSITE TO SEEING WHAT IS THERE AND POSSIBLE
There is nothing to look forward to. It is hopeless. I'll never get what I want. I'll never be happy. (But...)
____ What "should" be.(but will not happen!)
↑
↓
↑
Extra happiness
↓
Easy to fill this space in - never a gap
____ Zero
Suicide is a "rational" choice of an e-motion where there is only the (false) belief that there is only the prospect of never feeling good (net). [This is massively untrue!!!!]
An emotion is a mechanical result, not an incorrect wiring. It comes about from a cause, which is a thought.
The problem, in this case, and in almost every case,is that it is based on an incorrect, unsound assessment: that there is no prospect of a net feel good from life. The person sees no hope in stopping the hurting. But, since the hurting is caused by the thoughts of despair, the hurting can be stopped by altering the thoughts. And you must follow the process(es) that has worked to alter the thoughts.
The irony is that the negative evaluative thoughts are all based on false expectations, where we set unrealistic "requirements" that have nothing to do with what is necessary to be happy. (Interestingly, in poor nations, the suicide rate is virtually non-existent, so the unhappiness is not from circumstances but from false thinking that we have learned.) See The Unhappiness Gap, and see how the depressed person solved it.
Just as in any case of "lack of knowing", the solution lies in solving the lack of knowing. (See No Fault, as this is at the very center of the understanding you need in order to let yourself be happy. Remove this, as a first priority!)
And we need to give the hopeless feeling person enough hope to be able to believe that there is possibly a solution. We need to present "proof" of others having been able to recover and feel fine - the more extreme the example, the better - as we are dealing with the close to ultimate pessimistic viewpoint. See the examples listing, in the sidebar and below.
The steps, simplistically, are:
Call the helplines, listed below, and just let them guide you. (You don't need to figure it out
yourself or do anything other than make the call!)
Get a professional in there to help.
Short term, right now: Listen. Reinforce. Say... - If feasible, get someone to "be there"
(Instructions: no advice, just listen, just say supportive things, hug/touch..)
Understand (get explanation from professional if possible) that there is a very positive
possibility, where you can see how it can be done if we pull back and concentrate on just
the doable - eliminating all the extraneous and the extra burden from trying to achieve the
rest. As you "consolidate" to a central core, then you can choose to gradually add
something, at your own pace and only if you so choose.
Read the examples of several people who have been in the same situation or worse and have
recovered and become happy.
Be clear: I don't want to hurt others by this.
I guarantee you that you will be taken care of, and that we'll stick with you through the re-education process and I guarantee it will work, as it has in every case where we cut back to the essentials of life so that we no longer had to deal with too many things and could just deal with the simplicities that will create a happy life, for sure. This is my pledge to you.
NATIONAL SUICIDE HOTLINES
United States of America
Toll-Free / 24 hours a day / 7 days a week
1-800-SUICIDE
1-800-273-TALK
1-800-799-4TTY (4889) Deaf Hotline
UK you can call 08457 90 90 90
Ireland you can call 1850 60 90 90
Australia you can call Lifeline on 13 11 14 (local call)
In Australia also you can call Kids Help Line on 1800 55 1800 (toll-free)
EXAMPLES
Kristin - Attempted at 18, now married and happy at 30.
DRAMAS THAT OFFER INSIGHT
"The Women of Brewster Place" when Oprah Winfrey's character helps Lynn Whitfield's character after the death of her child.
"Men Don't Leave" where Joan Kusac's character help's Jessica Lang's character out of a depression following the death of her husband (not including the balloon ride).
Both of these movies showed a journey back from this thinking.
