LIVING IN THE MOMENT
HOW? JUST A TRITE SAYING?
DESIRABLE, BUT HOW?
We hear this often: "Live in the moment!" This sounds similar to "Have a good attitude! It's the key to a good life!"
Yes, these are true means to living a better life, but what are the details on how to do it. I find it difficult just to leap to how I should be or to having a good attitude.
I think all of this requires some steps, a bridge across the chasm between what I am and where I want to be.
Yes, the destination (along the way) is to "live in the moment", but I need to have a bridge, a path to get there.
My destination of "living in the moment" includes being at peace over myself, how life occurs (my past being ok rather than "wrong" somehow), having taken care of what needs to be taken care of, living in integrity (but not expecting perfection in this), accepting what occurs, knowing I can handle whatever comes up in the future...
Wait a minute, here!
WHAT GETS IN THE WAY?
A major, basic principle: If I am to do anything, I must remove all of what gets in the way.
To live in the moment, I must remove my concerns about the past and about the future, including my concerns about myself (as that is a worry about how people will see me, which is a kind of worry about how I will be able to live life well and be liked).
REMOVE CONCERNS ABOUT THE FUTURE
To not be concerned about the future, it helps to:
1. Know that I will be ok in the future.
2. And not to have unrealistic expectations, as I will be comparing myself right now to what I expect. (I will always be discontent in this case, so I can't be at peace in the moment.)
3. Not base what I "need to have" on what is not under my control. (Getting approval from others, getting them to do what you want them to do [a form of "dependence"].)
REMOVE CONCERNS ABOUT THE PAST
To no longer be concerned about the past, it helps to:
1. Understand how your past is just "what occurred" according to outside events and whatever knowledge path you had. It's just a mechanical reality, not something for which you are at fault. ("Grok" why There Is No Fault. If you don't understand this and accept it, you're stuck in a negative conversation about the past!)
A. If you did something in a way that didn't produce the desired result, you would
immediately note it and learn what is needed to do it right the next time. People
just don't seem to do that - they just don't complete the solving of a problem, so Life Champion - if you don't do the basics here, you cannot possibly "live in the
moment - it would be a mere fantasy to think otherwise.
REMOVE THE "CONCERNS" CONVERSATION
What I notice is that I am not happy when I am thinking about how things aren't as I wish and I'm not doing well enough.
Replace and substitute empowering and/or reassuring conversation
Each one of those conversations must be identified - and an alternative developed, one that is true. While I am talking here about solving the problem for the moment, inevitably I must actually solve the cause of the problem, otherwise I must continually be "solving the symptoms" and tamping down the negative conversations (in a whack-a-mole type game - not smart!). (Engage in Reconstructing Your Belief System Step By Step - Finishing "The Job", For Happiness. Of course, you would start with just listing thoughts that are occurring right now, today, and then devise an alternative - and then, darn it(!), install the newly created substitutes!!!!)
Understand the mechanics of the process
And the conversation of concerns is triggered more whenever the primitive brain is trying to get back into high functioning for survival. Since our wiring is "reciprocal" in nature (meaning we can communicate both directions), we can send signals to the alarm center that things are safe. When we choose to pause, and breathe slowly and deeply (and relax), we are doing what occurs when we are safe, and it sends the message to the primitive brain that we are "safe". That is vital to our peace of mind and to living in the moment.
SUBSTITUTE SOMETHING THAT FEELS GOOD
This provides food for relaxing the ever vigilant brain since it is a signal that survival is being handled better! (See the reference immediately above, as it is, perhaps, the top strategy of them all, at least in terms of directness and having immediate effects.
A feeling of progress - and a signal to the primitive brain
From the article in the box to the left: "I got to this point in my life by doing one thing: by living one day at a time. I focused on doing one thing each day that moved me a little closer to where I longed to be." "I focused on finding what fit me best."
That feeling of progress and of being responsible to oneself is a major gift to the psyche, as it allows the primitive brain to feel a bit safer (and therefore less concerned about the future - the more disrupted and/or out of balance things are, the more the brain is thrown into a frenzy or an increased state of looking for how to solve the current "out of balance" situation. See Homeostasis (High Functioning Balance) - Keeping Yourself In Your Maximum Power Zone.
Other interesting comments, from the outside article at Tiny Buddha:
"I learned to enjoy my life for what it was in that moment. I found peace in who I was, and where I was, without even knowing that’s what I had been searching for all along."
Notice that what she did was a process of daily progress - and that she reaped some peace of mind from "doing what was right" for herself.
"And if today, you find yourself disliking what you’ve created so far, that’s okay. Because that’s how it all starts. You can’t change something if you don’t know you want it to be different.
So wherever you are in life, right now, close your eyes.
Breathe deeply. Remember, you’re alive. This moment, it’s just that. A moment. It won’t last forever."
And then she continues discussing this. Read that in her article.
Note that she does things that are "positive" - and she inserts them on purpose.
"Let go of having to know all the steps you need to take to make your dreams come true. You know your direction, that’s more than enough."
"Trust that your life always turns out exactly as it needs to—even if you look around right now and say “you’re kidding, right?”"
Well, that is not stated as I see it. One's life simply turns out like it turns out - and unless you are proactive about it, it won't turn out as well as it would otherwise. However, the key subtext here is that if we get rid of unrealistic expectations and see not the gap but what we actually have in our lives, life can be seen as actually, in reality, more than ok. It is only our conversation about how it should be better and different that makes us unhappy. We are so well off compared to the caveman, yet we compare everything with "what could be" or "what should be". Ridiculous! We are well-off, period!!!! (Read Life From The Perspective Of A Caveman - A Tale Of Perspective, and "get it" as far as answering the question How Much Is Enough? - that is a "super key" to happiness and peace of mind - without it, you can't produce real happiness!)
""""""So live from your heart. Be honest. Be open. Be inspired. Be amazed. Keep doing what you love. Keep learning. Keep smiling.
Keep living one day at a time..."
That would be a good statement to make to yourself when you are doing your daily grounding session, to be sure you have a solid basis for the day. AND you must do the work, such as finding out and doing what you love and learning what is needed - and then to live one day at a time, you've got to implement the steps suggested in my article here (plus the complementary articles). Read The Power Of Grounding Oneself - Daily! and then do it!