ALMOST ALWAYS, THE BAD EFFECT IS DUE TO YOUR CHOICE
Choice 1: An occurrence → Choose to react → effect of emotional upset
Choice 2: An occurrence → Choose “neutral” → no effect
Simplified #2: An occurrence → No effect (I am same as before)
The occurrence, of itself, has no effect. Only the viewpoint/belief has an effect.
In life, there are very few occurrences with a real effect - and we also have the capability of dealing with those, to create good effects. See Fearlessness.
LEARN WHAT TO REACT TO OR NOT
The key is to learn what to react to and what not to react to.
To do that we must identify what needs to be corrected, i.e. what intervening belief/viewpoint has a “bad effect”. And there are two approaches to doing that:
1. Do it ahead of time
A. See the key things that seem to cause bad effects for you and rework the
underlying beliefs. Pick from either of these:
2. Specific Emotions that are, in fact, the bad effect, in
2. Do it immediately after noticed bad emotional effect.
A. Identify the emotion and rework the underlying belief until it conforms with
What Is The Effect, includes an example of unraveling the emotion you blamed on the event.
YOU ARE VIRTUALLY INVULNERABLE
If you have healthy beliefs, you'll not generate unhealthy emotions and the false fears that underlie them. You can be insulted, you can fail, you can look stupid, you can be rejected - and you can have no ill effects of those...at all!
Of course, you could, instead, choose to believe the cultural myths that to feel bad about those is "only human" and "therefore, you are stuck with them". The first part has some truth to it, but the latter part has no truth.
You can get to the level of "no effect" if you so choose, or you can get to an 80% level and still be darned happy!
Prioritize which effects and/or which beliefs you's like to change and then work your way down the list. By prioritizing them, you'll find that you start to get some bigger benefits sooner - and you'll be amazed what a full tackling of the top 5 can yield in terms of feeling much, much better.
Read any items in the sidebar.