When something is "wrong" now or in the future
A belief, not a reality
The underlying beliefs
The answers and affirmations
All is, on average, well, and as it should be
Coping at the moment
THE PERVASIVE BELIEF OF "SOMETHING IS WRONG"
Our "background conversation" in life determines mostly how we feel in life. It is our background music of life, but it is often not so harmonious. Yes, we do have a brain evolved to watch out for dangers and threats, but we have fallen into the trap of believing that they are "everpresent" - or what people call "feeling as if something is wrong". Yes, it results in a terrible feeling, one of angst or ongoing anxiety, where we are "ill at ease" (not letting ourselves be fully at ease), but "feeling as if" is actually a thought, a belief. (See Feelings Are Not Thoughts.)
While we feel it "now", it really represents the idea that something bad is about to happen. Most of us can see that nothing bad is happening right at the moment, as our limbs appear to be intact and there are no observable threats. The possible threats are more like the monster in the closet as a child. Even as a child we might have been "convinced" with the logic of our parents that there was no actual monsters, but, still...we somehow might have "felt" it was there
WHEN SOMETHING IS “WRONG” NOW OR IN THE FUTURE
If we spend our attention on dreading how we might feel if and/or when something will happen, we get to experience “pain” now and our brain begins to shut its awareness down and mobilize us for danger, with our body chemicals adjusting for danger.
This is not good.
A BELIEF, NOT A REALITY
"Something is wrong" is a belief, not a reality, so we deal with it as we would deal with any belief.
We debunk it and replace it with a valid, true belief. To do that, we must understand where it came from so we can see that it is no longer true or that it was never actually true.
THE UNDERLYING BELIEFS:
Something bad will happen...and...
I couldn't stand bad results.
I won't be able to handle it when it comes, because I am inadequate and worthless,
It's terrible that I am so powerless.
Such statements are as far as we tend to go in our "thinking" about what we are thinking. But they fail to continue on further in the causal chain of thinking and feeling. They do not address "so then that would result in what", "so that means that..."...
I am so powerless that the monster would step on me and I would die.
I will die or I will live a miserable life....
Spend two minutes identifying what the following subsequent thoughts might be in your worry chain, until you arrive at the very end point of the chain where there are no "what follows that is...".
Then the question is always "Is that true?" or is it just something the mind made up?
[In the internal mechanisms in our lower brain, we may never know what is actually occurring. So we have to "infer" what must be happening and put it into language (which is a creation of the higher brain) in order to "see" what is probably going on. Like a bad, nonsensical dream, we need to look at it and actually write out what actual reality is. "No, I will not die or be lying on the floor in a pitiful puddle of helplessness. No, there is truly nothing to worry about." And after you write down whatever you write, thoughts will magically occur in your brain that dispute what you wrote or say "yeah, but..." or "everything is such a mess", or whatever. The secret here is that you just keep going along the chain, writing down the nonsense statement and then writing your best attempt at making a reality statement. Don't stop, until you get to ascertaining what reality statement is actually true.
At this point, it is probable that a reader will not quite "get" what I am talking about here. So, you'll need to do some background reading on beliefs and then go use, probably, the format recommended as the simplest in The Beliefs Process Forms, Contents, Links page. (For the background reading you'll start at the main intro page on beliefs and then go from there. That page is listed first on the page for The Program For Upgrading Your Beliefs.)
For your own sake, please do not stop until you have eradicated that false belief and all other major false beliefs.
Yes, I know it takes some time, but it will be one of the most magnificently worthwhile investments of your time that you will even experience in your life!!!]
THE ANSWERS AND AFFIRMATIONS
"I absolutely can handle whatever comes up. Some things I won't like, but that is just part of life. I will simply accept that the thing happened and that s**t happens, as we can't control all things. Then I will do what is necessary to create a good result for me." Read Fearlessness, to see how you can eliminate false fears and create happiness.
"If a storm is coming, as is inevitable, I cannot worry about it, fight it, try to change it, as I won't make any difference. Yes, I can prepare for it, so that I'll be more comfortable and lose less, but I can't prevent it. And after the storm, I'll clean up the mess as well as I can. All the while I will be happy that I am alive and that circumstances do not determine my happiness."
Life, in fact, is as good as it can be. Plenty of opportunities, mostly good people, lots of supply, a miraculous body and mind.
Yes, something will happen that I don't like, as there are so many things happening and some of them will not be favorable. But that's ok...
I can stand it...I'm still alive... others stand it, bad past good future W Mitchell..
ON AVERAGE, ALL IS WELL AND AS IT SHOULD BE
All that is critical in life for a foundation from which you can operate happily is:
1. Enough food. "I have enough food and I always will."
2. Sufficient shelter. "I have sufficient shelter. I don't need more. I can create happiness from this base."
3. The knowledge of how to make myself happy. "I am learning as fast as I can the knowledge and skills to be happy and see life how it is. As I progress, I will appreciate life more and more and I will see that 'all is well'."
4. The ability to see, feel, sense, experience, and live life.
My "transition" teacher, for my retirement, said many times: "All you need to have a good life is a job at McDonald's, a room, and a library to go to to get books to read." Of course, I didn't see it at the time, as I was still stuck in the paradigm of "more" (read how we create Suffering And Struggle). I see now that there is much to be grateful for and that Life Is Good. I see that I have more than enough, that the world and life provide an incredible amount of opportunities and things that work well for me (including my miraculous body and incredible best-in-the-universe computer/brain) and that there is something I can do to harvest what I need. I am self-sufficient and I can create all that I need. I am happy. I am blessed, and, indeed, life is a miracle!
COPING, AT THE MOMENT
To handle this we need a quick, available response.
Hey, life is good.
This is your adult speaking. I will take care of you. Now, listen up. If there is no real physical threat and we do not need to run, we can stop and re-center ourself. There is no real threat!
I am not threatened in survival. I need not experience pain about something that hasn’t happened.
I will not tolerate this behavior. It is a waste. Let’s just sit down and solve it as best we can. We can be happy anyway. There is so much to be grateful for.
Mantra: Life is good. There is so much to be grateful for.
I can easily survive the worst that can happen, for I have a base of happiness that is not contingent upon having more!
I’ll just do my best and things will either turn out or not – and I’ll be ok either way….
So what if people don’t admire you or think you are a fool…
I am kind and compassionate with myself.
Consider, in almost all cases, that "nothing actually happened". (Click on that link and decide if that is so in most of life with regard to our mentally conjured up irrealities.)
Notes for inclusion in next draft
There is very, very few things that are actually threatening to me. And those that are an actual threat occur so seldom that I need not ...no use as it has no effect... preventing a big storm... just know you'll respond, still ok even if paraplegic.
what is rational here? what is the truth?
what is to become of me....child
not ok unworthy, not good enough