Am I doing a racket?
List of the parts of a racket
What a racket worksheet could include
"When we bring up what has been unclear and unsaid and unexamined and shine the light on it, we see the folly of what we are doing and the emptiness and costs of it all."
AM I DOING A RACKET?
See the components of a racket and the sure indicators that you are doing a racket on the Rackets Main Page. It is defined, quoting the source of the term, on that page, together with traditional definitions.
LIST OF THE PARTS OF A RACKET
An ongoing complaint (and a payoff for having the complaint, most likely)
A fixed behavior (or way of dealing with it)
(Next is what to do about it, a decision and then a commitment, see below.)
WHAT A RACKET WORKSHEET COULD INCLUDE
See the actual worksheets in a word document, as listed (to the right, above).
Fill these in, check off, or circle what is true from the suggestions. For now, copy and paste this into a word document (until I create a blank word document to link into.
MY RACKET (complaint, reason why not) is:
MY BEHAVIOR consistently attached to it: (withdrawing, disconnecting, being resigned, feeling sad, isolated, alone, self justification, pouting...)
How I justified my behavior:
PAYOFFS: (being right, making others wrong, looking good, believed control or protection, illusory relief of illusory fear, trying to avoid feeling like a victim or being dominated by another, believed power over another, What I hope to get, what I think I’ll get, what I should get….)
COSTS: aliveness, connection, happiness, satisfaction, peace of mind, loss of power, reduced freedom, feeling bad [regret, shame, guilt]
I recognize this and I have weighed the costs and assessed the payoffs. I know this is not for my better good, so I hereby give up this ruse. I also hereby commit to correcting any damage and making any necessary amends.
I acknowledge that I am responsible for creating this and that I am not the victim of another or of any circumstance. I acknowledge that my perceptions and even my beliefs about what I believe are facts could be incorrect. I acknowledge that the other person is simply doing what is appropriate given his/her viewpoint, circumstances, and present awareness - and that what was done or decided by the other person totally makes sense in their world, though, as with me, those could be in error.
WHAT I REALLY WANT IS: It is fine to want to create a specific result, but it is important to look at the feeling you want to get from or related to that result and it is important to identify what you want that would actually give you the ability to generate the results you want, such as "being powerful", "being calm and content", etc.
TO REMOVE THE BARRIERS to getting what I want, I will
THE POSSIBILITIES I CREATE ARE NOW (the opposite of the impossibilities plus support of who to be, what to do....)
THE BELIEFS THAT ARE NOT TRUE ARE:
THE BELIEFS I NOW CREATE that are true and empowering replacements are:
WHAT I WILL DO TO CORRECT ANY DAMAGE IS: (forgive or ask forgiveness, make amends, make the other person whole by offsetting any damage done by me) Checkmark what is below and also add your own.
___ Communicate my responsibility in the matter and what I did and what doesn't
work and my new promise or commitment.
___ Communicate what needs to be said
___ Stop withholding communication and/or hiding something.
___ Listen to the other person until that person is fully heard and knows it.
I hereby, now and forever, give up this racket and all stories connected with it.
I now declare this to no longer exist.
Committed to this ____ day of _____________, ____.