THE WORKSHEET FOR EFFECTIVE CHANGE
THE COMPLETE PROCESS TO SUCCEED IN CHANGE
Although still valid, I've moved, and changed the formatting, this to a document that you can copy and then type into it.
Be sure to do the background learning about this, as that will help in the whole process and in building this skill into your life to dramatically enhance your life!
Using the simpler form (above) or this form, I recommend that you highlight and copy the entire webpage and then paste it into your own wordprocessing document. This is recommended because the space allotted will expand as you continue to type in what is needed.
There is also a form, at the end, for a "Master List Of All The Habits I'd Like To Change In The Next Few Years." All of them, not just some! Then you'd prioritize them on which to do in which order and by when.
(Note that working with a qualified coach or consultant/counselor can dramatically increase the effectiveness.)
Some parts are skippable, but I wanted to have at least one "complete" process. It is not wise to be stuck on taking shortcuts or shortcutting any process - especially is they are important and impactful.
Yes, this will take extra time compared to not doing it properly (aka using a "short" cut). But what you want is to be able to complete this successfully - and this is what it takes. (And you'll save the time it takes to do it over after not having succeeded before.)
IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM
The solution often springs out of a clear definition of the problem.
___ I am aware (at least someone has asserted it and it seems true) that this is SOMETHING THAT IS NOT SERVING ME AND/OR IS HARMING ME.
DESCRIPTION of what it is: ____________________________________________________
CLEARLY IDENTIFY AND DEFINE THE HARM/DAMAGE
It is not helping me and/or it is harming me in the following way(s):
Rate each one on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being horribly harmful.
THE PAYOFF(S) I am getting from my current behavior: (Number these for reference below).
There are primary believed or actual payoffs, plus what are known as secondary benefits, which are simply "side benefits". These are a result of running what are called "rackets". What is, and could in the future, holding this behavior in place - describe the process, so you understand it and can therefore find a substitute that will provide the same. 1. ________________________________________________________
What else I could do that would get the same payoff or be a suitable substitute:
DESCRIBE THE NEW BEHAVIOR & THE OUTCOME YOU WOULD LIKE TO ACCOMPLISH
My new behavior I wish to accomplish is: ________________________________________
The outcome(s) I would like to accomplish is: ____________________________________
__ I am listing my new rules on a "These are the rules" page.
IDENTIFY THE BENEFITS to my life of doing this change:
Rate each one on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being incredibly beneficial.
What I will do to keep these clearly in mind, if needed:
__ Review, remind myself every __ days or week or _____
__ Visualize the feelings, rewards, etc of doing the new strategy
__ Review the list of benefits/whys and strongly declare your commitment
WHAT I WANT - My destination is: (Clearly defined, and attainable.)
AM I WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE? (If you're not, don't bother to start.)
___ Yes, absolutely.
WHAT HAS GOTTEN IN THE WAY OR MIGHT GET IN THE WAY
__ I must first know enough about how things work. I will "study" to the point where I can proceed with the benefit of Sufficient Knowing.
Temptations, situations that got in the way:
Write below each of the "get in the way" items (above) what strategy and handling you will do when those come up.
OVERALL BASE FACILITATORS
__ I understand that willpower and the capability for change are increased if I do certain things that generate more energy and keep my energy up. Doing this will make all of this much easier and much more productive. (Energy Checklist and The Pre-Set, Super-Committed Schedule For An Always Powerful Day! Not Optional!) I also understand that changing that energy and my momentum during the day will help me be less prone to do dysfunctional behaviors. Therefore, what I choose to do to utilize those very doable methods are:
COMMITMENT: Based on the above, I commit to the following (with specific dates and actions toward it):
I will do this to full completion of the objective, period, with no outs. (If I fail, I will re-start and go at it again. I have decided that ultimate failure on this is not an option.)
Committed to this ___ day of ____________, 2____: _________________________
I will announce this commitment to: ________________________________________
ACTIONS, Specific, and dates (can be filled in later): (Also, if relevant, specify how long you’ll do the action for.) I hereby make the decisions to do these actions.
(Optional) Some treat or reward for myself starting this:__________________________
(Definitely) The reward for completing this will be: _______________________________
Be generous here, but don't give it to yourself unless you complete what is necessary
to do to get the desired result.
Rewards along the way at each milestone will be:
SET IN PLACE THAT WHICH WILL SUPPORT ME ALONG THE WAY
My plan to do that which follows to keep me on the path:
Who will support me and what resources I will use.
The affirmations and declarations to excite me and support me
WHAT WILL KEEP ME ON THE PATH?
__ Read the benefits and payoffs, above, at least daily.
__ Daily, at least, repeat related affirmations (to make this "larger" in your mind and to wire it
into neuronal pathways, which in turn make things easier because it is easier to follow a
grooved pathway in the brain).
__ Partner, support team in the process (being accountable, and sharing this sheet with the
__ Rewards (for even small things)
__ Celebrate, how: _______________________________________________________
__ My monitoring sheet
__ Interacting with a role model, finding models to emulate
__ If I fail, I simply re-start, and continue adding new weight to my neuronal pathway.
__ Specifically writing down what you will do and when (in studies, this had huge results
compared to those with just an intention)
__ Specifically writing down each step and when it will occur in the sequence of what you do
in life (this set up "cue-ing", so that the precedubg action/event "triggers" this action)
__ Having a system and a process, written down, that is clear and inclusive
HOW I SEE MYSELF IN THE FUTURE: (Visualization, which motivates, plus giving me a chemical boost, feel, smell, taste.)
Such as: I am proud of myself for quitting smoking. I see myself as smoke-free and very healthy and alive. I am so grateful for having done this. I see myself smiling with satisfaction as my supporters are applauding my success. I am confident about all of this. I am a better person for having done this - and persisted. I am forever grateful. And I am so very proud of myself for following through!
WHAT COULD PULL ME OFF THE PATH AND MY ACTIONS TO HANDLE
Cue, situation, circumstances, people, stimulus Action I will take to keep on the path
JOURNAL OF OBSERVATIONS
Since change involves doing new things you don't quite know how to do (such as discipline yourself), observing the failures and acknowledging even the small successes is an important tool, so you can adjust. Keep this worksheet available to look at or put it into the journal. If it is a paper journal, it's best if it is hardbound. (The Improvements Journal is an example of a possible format/concept.
REASSESSMENT DATE tickled on calendar for initially revisiting and reassessing:
ASSESSMENT: (If doing by hand, use the back of the page for additional inputs.)
How it is going/succeeding:
How the actions/strategies should be revised:
FINAL SIGN OFF:
____ I have built this into my life and it is something I will do always as part of my life.
Signed off this ____ day of _____________, ____